New man masturbation anxiety

[Twoseasonsleeper]

Not sure whether to be annoyed at him, or myself, or just slightly disappointed.

Been seeing a guy for a couple of months. We get on fine. We’re at the stage now where I am thinking that maybe this could go somewhere, and I have zero desire to be anything but honest with him about everything in my life. Secrets and lies are for other people’s relationships.

I work from home most days and we were chatting last night about how boring it is sometimes. He asked how I fill my days and I joked that the W in WFH meant walking, washing and wanking (ie sometimes I go for a walk, do the laundry or masturbate).

He seemed genuinely surprised that I would, in his words, ‘need to’ masturbate now that I am in a relationship and that he felt a bit anxious that he wasn’t good enough. I laughed it off and said that it’s no reflection on him at all, that I do it cos it feels good not cos I ‘need to’ and that it’s just a nice way to pass the time on occasion when I’m bored and work’s a bit light (when there’s no washing and it’s too rainy to walk!).

He seemed subdued like I’d broken some bad news to him. Not sure what else I could’ve said really. It’s no big deal to me if he does it. I don’t care either way and wish I’d never mentioned it about myself now. He’s making a mountain out of a molehill and I’m not sure what, if anything, to do.

Me too - especially in such a new relationship. I get it was a joke but a weird one. Maybe I am a bit of a prude but just a few dates in I would fine it a bit too much (even if we had been shagging loads)

Me?

I do alright for myself tbh.

Yeah, like one with the legally mandated breaks and stuff.

He’s buttoned up and weird.

Oh OP you've landed yourself one of 'those types', you know - the ones who think we must not have ANY sexual enjoyment without them being involved!! 🤣🤣🙄

I actually think I know this pillock, does his name begin with T? 🤔

Yeh, but most people spend their legally mandated breaks ya know, oh, getting a sandwich, making a cuppa, quick Google of the news, checking their messages... You know, normal stuff. It isn't 'normal' to be rubbing your Mary till it's sore like some sex starved 20yr old on your half hour lunch.Honestly, no wonder other countries despair of us !

Rubbing your Mary (the fuck!?) til its sore?

Your view of wanking is weird. How long do you think it takes (just guess as you’ve obviously never tried it).

Why does it matter to you if someone has a cuppa or get’s Mary involved?

You’re welcome to leave Mary alone, but you don’t own all the Mary’s!

😂😂😂 hands off our collective mary's

I will rub my Mary whenever I like within the confines of my own home, thank you very much.

Mary 🤣🤣🤣

Are you 11?

This is where you just don't get it. I'm not going to announce on the internet whether I "wank" or not. But let's just say, I'm perfectly aquatinted with my own body 😉. The difference is.... I know what information is private for my own dignity. It's not a conversation that's appropriate for outside of yourself. It's called decency. And if you haven't heard the word 'mary' you need to get out more.

It's tongue in cheek

Absolutely. I'd expect not to know about it though ! Like most normal body functions and habits.

Who's Mary and what's aquatinted? This thread is getting weird.

Nah you’re right, I don’t get it either.

I’ve never met this woman, she doesn’t need to be dignified on my account, I’m not bothered about her Mary or what she’s doing with it.

Keep your own hands in your own Mary's and keep that information between you and your Mary ! Problem solved !

His reaction screams lack of confidence to me which I don't find attractive.

I don't want to own all the Mary's thankyou very much. I would however, expect you to keep that information to yourself. It's just not appropriate. Even to a partner. I don't announce it to my DH and I wouldn't expect him to announce it to me either !

This

And please can we stop calling female masturbation "wanking" 🤮

But do you understand that this is ‘just not appropriate’ to you. For plenty of other people it might not only be appropriate, but welcome ?

I despair at how all boundaries in our society have been totally eroded. There's a huge margin between being in a middle eastern country and a woman not even being allowed to show her shoulders in public, to women over here thinking it's 'the norm' to be playing with themselves and bragging liberally about it whilst they're working. Somewhere between those two extremes Is a balance. I don't think this is balanced.

Young girls in say middle east religious countries must feel very pressurised into a high level of self restriction

I think young women here must feel pressurised into loudly boasting about "wanking" indulging in "anal" and "BDSM/kink" coz ya know, we're all now told that's what "cool girls" do and if you're not - you're a girdle wearing pride. I personally think the innards of our boundaryless society are spewing out tastelessly all over the floor. Some things should be private because we still should have some societal expectations of appropriate conduct (and that includes what comes out of your mouth ) . Sorry, but I'm not sorry.

Damn straight! But if I am doing it in the middle of a boring boring Teams call, I’d almost certainly turn the camera off first.

Come ON mumsnetters, wanking is more fun than washing. This we can agree on at least.

You wouldn’t even share that with a sex partner @SquashedMallow?