My husband is unattracted to me I’ve done everything he has asked

[sadfish19]

First off I have gained a lot of weight during my long relationship.Which is my fault I didn’t realize how depressed I was until I got better. I take full responsibility and I am greatful that my husband didn’t leave me then. I know I am a great wife I cook all the meals do all the cleaning I even take care of all the financials. Besides outdoor projects he doesn’t really have to lift a finger. I work from home so I’m always here.

Over the past few years I have taken steps to lose weight and be more active. The past 6 months the I’ve been on a GLP1 and lost 30 more lbs I’m 5’2 so it’s very noticeable he has even completed me on it. I feel really proud of myself and feeling confident and good. Of course I wanted to be healthier but the day I ordered the medication started with my husband telling me everything he was unhappy about my body the way I dress not being feminine enough etc.

Ever since then I make a daily effort to check all of the boxes he has made for me I make sure to make myself presentable everyday before my husband comes home .I have a rule that I wear a dress every other day at least.
Do hair/makeup at least multiple times a week.

Exactly 6 months almost to the day he has the same issues with me. Like I have done absolutely nothing even though on a daily basis I make sure to check those boxes he wanted from me.
Over the past year and a half I have made an effort to do more cardio I get at least 10k steps a day and it has really helped with weight loss. My stamina is amazing now. He told me that doesn’t count and I need to actually work out. I need to get ready everyday like I’m going to a “real job” I wfm.

I’m already doing these things and I get no credit at all in another 6 months I feel like it’s going to happen again. Even if I look good everyday and lose as much more weight as I can.
I don’t know what to do I have no friends or anyone I can talk to. I feel like I’m going insane.
I’ve been so happy lately feeling better about myself thinking everything is great and he’s still unhappy. Nothing I do is ever good enough even if it’s exactly what is asked of me I don’t get it.
He never has to feel like his partner doesn’t like him or doesn’t want him.

I am sorry you feel this bad. This the first time I have ever said this, but LTB. You deserve much much more than a man who tells you what is wrong with you.

In the bin - you’ll be happier

I’m probably going to get slated but when a partner has these standards and you meet them and they are still unhappy and cold etc they are usually having an affair and nothing you can do would be ‘enough’
You drive yourself crazy trying to make them happy but they have switched off to you in their head

He’s not terrible though we’ve been together for 15 years I’m only 29. We are best friends he doesn’t say this stuff on a daily basis. I just don’t get how I always do everything wrong even I just want to make him happy.

We are never apart besides when he’s at work. I have his location I know for a fact he’s not cheating.

@sadfish19 The problem is him not you. He sounds lazy and unappreciative. He is crushing yourself confidence with his lack of emotional empathy and support for you. Just because you WFH doesn't mean he should get away with nothing around the house.
You need to stop trying to please him, and focus on your own happiness. Congratulations on your weight loss and healthy living! You deserve better.

Is this real?

op - can you tell us why you haven’t got a divorce?

Sounds like you need to shed another 14 stones or so of useless flesh - your husband. You’re doing amazing, but do it for yourself not for someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

I would find someone else who appreciates you, OP.

You've been together since you were 14? That's young and people change as they grow up and mature. LTB, you're still young and life is too short to live in such misery. It will only get worse.

Do you feel you look good? I would stop focusing on him and start doing it for you now. Dress how you like, be the person you want to be, look how you want to look. Confidence is the most attractive trait.

A life partner is not so focused on your looks because your relationship is built on more than that it's a feeling of being complete.

I'm sorry to say I don't think anything you do will ever be right for him and that's his problem not yours 💖

Oh sweetheart you don't want to be with this cunt a minute longer.
Life is short. You are young. Please he will get worse and almost certainly leave you as soon as he gets another offer.

I came here to say this. LTB - problem solved.

If this only started when you recovered from depression and started losing weight I’d say he’s doing it to manipulate you.

He may be worried that as you grow in confidence he will lose control of you. You may stop doing everything for him or realise that you can do better… so he’s negging you to make you desperate and have low self esteem so you’re always chasing his favour rather than growing in confidence and happiness.

Your elevation is a threat to him.

Best friends are nice to each other. So what you mean is he is your only friend.

my advice to you is this…

1, make new friends

then…

1. realise he doesn’t deserve you at all because he’s not supportive whatsoever

then

1. divorce

Your partner in life should lift you up, not bring you down.

We are best friends and high school sweethearts. He doesn’t do this on a regular basis. We are normally very good and in love. I just thought after I finally got to where I am he would never have that conversation with me again I cannot believe I’m here again.

Was he expecting you to magically morph back into who you were and what you looked like in the first years of your relationship or something?

He's an arsehole. No wonder he's spewing out crap.

Revert back to 14 don’t think it’s possible haha

We have a very different idea of what best friends are. To me a best friend has your back and is your biggest cheerleader, they think you're the bees knees.

To you a best friend has exacting standards and even if you meet those standards,
criticises you. You can't win with your best friend.

It seems as though he not only wants a Stepford wife but doesn't want his living doll to have a life of her own.

He doesn't sound great OP, some might say he's emotionally abusive.

Congrats on losing the weight. You also need to lose the husband. Nothing you do is every thing to be enough for him. You're worth more than this.

Best friends don’t make you feel like shite. Why is he doing fuck all at home and why is your bar so low? He sounds like a useless, misogynistic wank stain.

Why are you with this tosser?

Who is he to tell you how you dress and set standards like that. Are you a stepford wife to keep doing all that?
Does he cook? Does he do cleaning? What does he look like? If he bought your appearance up again I would say to him well to be honest you're not that attractive now and I've noticed you've got a podgy tummy and I never told you but i think you need to pay attention to your teeth!

Them leave him

You feeling you have to get dressed up for him and do your hair a few days a week is about as far removed from normal and in love as you can get.

i think you have absolutely no idea whatsoever op what a healthy good in love relationship looks like.

because it isn’t this