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Original poster

Dumped by FWB on Easter

194 replies

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 09:18

I’m not religious and it’s not a ‘proper’ relationship so i shouldn’t really be sad that he’s ended it over Easter. But I still am! Pretty gutted actually. Lucky that it’s literally a festival of chocolate today. Would it be wrong to eat several entire eggs as a coping mechanism?

Perfect FWB scenario. Three years since I met him on Tinder having had a couple of years of post-divorce dating without any kind of romantic or sexual spark with anyone. He’s a lovely man but wasn’t looking for anything serious and I wasn’t bothered either. I fancied the pants off him though and our second ‘date’ was bedroom-based. Since then that’s all we’ve done. Literally nothing else. One of us will text the other to arrange a time, we’ll meet, a quick text to say thanks afterwards, and repeat again after a few weeks. No contact in between. It’s been brilliant. That gap in my life has been safely filled and I’m free to look after the kids and myself and our busy lives the rest of the time.

I’ve gone on the odd date with others, and so has he. We’re open about it with each other and with them. But he has now met someone he really likes so he’s told me that it means we can’t see each other any more. I totally understand and respect that, and wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have romantic feelings for him and we wouldn’t work as a proper couple for various reasons even if I wanted it.

But still… gutted. I’ll miss our thing. I’ll have to get out there again to meet men, most of whom (no offence to any lurking men reading this) really don’t float my boat in any way whatsoever. Nothing to look forward to or arrange in that field after a boring day at work.

Not sure what the answer is really. Just a bit sad today. Never mind. Good luck to him though. Now, where’s that chocolate?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cushionette · 21/04/2025 08:42

Gymbunny2025 · 21/04/2025 08:29

How are you feeling today OP? Ready to reload Tinder? Or still drowning in chocolate?!

Ah thanks for asking. I’m fine thanks.

I’m sure I’ll give some thought to next steps at some point, but not today. Probably next time the urge strikes and I no longer have the option to text my (F)WB!

I have enough chocolate to last til next Easter so that situation is helpful.

OP posts:
Flozle · 21/04/2025 09:11

Never2many · 20/04/2025 15:23

This wasn’t a FWB situation though was it? Essentially, apart from the fact he wasn’t paid, he was a male escort.

There are agencies where you could find someone who was prepared to come round for a shag, but it’ll cost.

But FWB is precisely that - there’s a friend element, and there wasn’t here.

There’s been some judgemental misogynistic bollocks on this thread so far, but what utter claptrap is this? 🤣🙄

Tillybud81 · 21/04/2025 09:36

Cushionette · 21/04/2025 08:18

Some of the responses make me smile. I’m touched that people take time out of their day to reply and try and help me, but the requirement for literal accuracy is very weird! I’m amazed that those people querying whether the F in FWB was truly appropriate weren’t also urging me to seek urgent medical attention having obviously been disembowelled (I admitted to being ‘gutted’).

For the avoidance of doubt - I was mildly saddened by the ending of a relationship with a man whose genitals I rubbed mine against approximately every three weeks over a three year period. There was often a cup of tea involved afterwards, along with superficial conversation and the expression of mutual gratitude for the general enjoyment of the preceding hour or so. I found the experience enjoyable for several reasons but am conscious of both its fleeting, unserious nature and its importance relative to other things in my life. In order to manage the disappointment of this arrangement ending I indulged in humorous Mumsnet messaging and the consumption of handily-available Easter eggs.

I may have used words which misrepresented facts or over-dramatised emotions. Under many circumstances I’d apologise, but if we’re being totally honest now I need to tell anyone confused that I don’t really care!

Show quote history

Well you certainly riled up a few on here OP, must have been quite an Easter Sundy for some. I do think your satire might have flown somewhat high for them.

I do hope you're all good though, it's difficult when something good comes to an end

MightAsWellBeGretel · 21/04/2025 11:27

Tillybud81 · 21/04/2025 09:36

Well you certainly riled up a few on here OP, must have been quite an Easter Sundy for some. I do think your satire might have flown somewhat high for them.

I do hope you're all good though, it's difficult when something good comes to an end

Show quote history

I'm amazed some of them were allowed out of the kitchen for so long to post with such dedication!

Hastentoadd · 21/04/2025 12:09

Cushionette · 21/04/2025 07:40

You’re right. The voracial abuse on here about my vote face is awful.

Anyway, I survived the night somehow, and will doubtless struggle through today as the chocolate obsessed, victimised harlot that I know I am. I plan to spend it reading about the true definition of friendship whilst sewing myself into my knickers to avoid any further confusion or inappropriate non-feminine behaviour.

Edited
Show quote history

The voracial abuse on here about my vote face is awful.

What? Do you usually make up words?

category12 · 21/04/2025 12:09

Hastentoadd · 21/04/2025 12:09

The voracial abuse on here about my vote face is awful.

What? Do you usually make up words?

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It was a joke.

Hastentoadd · 21/04/2025 12:11

category12 · 21/04/2025 12:09

It was a joke.

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It doesn’t make any sense

category12 · 21/04/2025 12:20

Hastentoadd · 21/04/2025 12:11

It doesn’t make any sense

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Perhaps read back a couple of pages and figure out to what she was referencing.

Or don't.

category12 · 21/04/2025 12:20

Referring, dang it 😂

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/04/2025 13:19

I think this arrangement will be quite easily replaceable, and also if he breaks up with her I'm sure he'll be back in touch.

You're ok to feel sad though he was a fun part of your routine and of course you'll miss it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/04/2025 13:20

@RedRock41 she didn't want more with him though, she was treating him as 'cheap' as he was her.

Maybelle84 · 21/04/2025 13:59

OP eat all the eggs!

OP is allowed to be sad that something she enjoyed has come to an end.
Finding a guy who you find very attractive, is good in bed and is happy to be chill between sessions I can't imagine is easy to find! I'd be sad too. She wasn't being used as it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. I'll never get why people assume men think lower of a female FWB than the woman thinks of the man. Both wanted each other for sex only and so they remain equals! That's kind of a male shaming females thought process.

OP be sad, but be happy you had that experience and onto the next adventure! The next one may not the same as the last but he may well be more fun or just give you a whole new experience.
Maybe your next new adventure isn't a FWB but something else entirely.
Easter is all about new beginnings and maybe one door closes so another one opens 🙂

Fleetheart · 21/04/2025 17:32

WinterKitchen · 21/04/2025 08:27

That should be on Pedants' Corner.

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people really shouldn't use words if they don't know how to use them should they. Not sure that's pedantic, just common sense.

WinterKitchen · 21/04/2025 17:45

Fleetheart · 21/04/2025 17:32

people really shouldn't use words if they don't know how to use them should they. Not sure that's pedantic, just common sense.

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It is you're right but PC has lots of posts about defiantly going to try something new or people who don't understand the difference between he's and his.

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 17:54

You were not FWBs. You were FBs. You need to think about finding another. Just be honest with men on dating apps.

Fleetheart · 21/04/2025 17:57

This isn't AIBU so why are people not just being nice, why are they going on about the fact they weren't really FWBs. That's not really the point is it? Can't we all just be a bit supportive :-)

Original poster
Cushionette · 21/04/2025 18:07

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 17:54

You were not FWBs. You were FBs. You need to think about finding another. Just be honest with men on dating apps.

Is FB fuck buddy?

So FWB is inappropriate because we’re not friends. But apparently we are buddies? I’m glad that a) we’re clear now and b) we’re focusing on this most crucial part of the issue.

OP posts:
blueleavesgreensky · 21/04/2025 18:25

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 17:54

You were not FWBs. You were FBs. You need to think about finding another. Just be honest with men on dating apps.

So they weren’t friends they were buddies.
how is this a point worth making in your head?

blueleavesgreensky · 21/04/2025 18:26

Cushionette · 21/04/2025 18:07

Is FB fuck buddy?

So FWB is inappropriate because we’re not friends. But apparently we are buddies? I’m glad that a) we’re clear now and b) we’re focusing on this most crucial part of the issue.

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Haha. I just posted the same thing! Some people are so determined to have a problem and be off tangent

Gymbunny2025 · 21/04/2025 18:37

blueleavesgreensky · 21/04/2025 18:25

So they weren’t friends they were buddies.
how is this a point worth making in your head?

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😂

Original poster
Cushionette · 21/04/2025 18:51

blueleavesgreensky · 21/04/2025 18:26

Haha. I just posted the same thing! Some people are so determined to have a problem and be off tangent

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Wait til she hears that we didn’t just fuck. There was kissing and all sorts.

OP posts:
Gymbunny2025 · 21/04/2025 19:00

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 17:54

You were not FWBs. You were FBs. You need to think about finding another. Just be honest with men on dating apps.

i agree OP. You need to be VERY honest with men on dating apps!

you want a buddy not a friend

must like tea. And kissing.

fucks only. No benefits

attractive and great sex (mutually)… must live up to established standards 😉

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 21/04/2025 19:08

Some of the responses on this thread are utterly batshit!

It sounds like you had the ideal arrangement with this gentleman, and I hope that finding a replacement isn't too much trouble.

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 19:43

blueleavesgreensky · 21/04/2025 18:25

So they weren’t friends they were buddies.
how is this a point worth making in your head?

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I had a FWB. When we split up there was a lot of water under our bridge and I missed her a lot.

You have admitted that there wasn’t anything in this relationship apart from sex. If that’s what you want it’s very easy to find. A genuine FWB is like a needle in a haystack.

Gymbunny2025 · 21/04/2025 19:50

GentlemanJay · 21/04/2025 19:43

I had a FWB. When we split up there was a lot of water under our bridge and I missed her a lot.

You have admitted that there wasn’t anything in this relationship apart from sex. If that’s what you want it’s very easy to find. A genuine FWB is like a needle in a haystack.

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Misses her because you no longer met up as friends? What you’re describing is a relationship!

im sure OP would consider this man a friend? They saw each other every 3 weeks for 3 years! They must have been friendly ☺️ I have people I consider friends I see a lot less!

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