Dumped by FWB on Easter

[Cushionette]

I’m not religious and it’s not a ‘proper’ relationship so i shouldn’t really be sad that he’s ended it over Easter. But I still am! Pretty gutted actually. Lucky that it’s literally a festival of chocolate today. Would it be wrong to eat several entire eggs as a coping mechanism?

Perfect FWB scenario. Three years since I met him on Tinder having had a couple of years of post-divorce dating without any kind of romantic or sexual spark with anyone. He’s a lovely man but wasn’t looking for anything serious and I wasn’t bothered either. I fancied the pants off him though and our second ‘date’ was bedroom-based. Since then that’s all we’ve done. Literally nothing else. One of us will text the other to arrange a time, we’ll meet, a quick text to say thanks afterwards, and repeat again after a few weeks. No contact in between. It’s been brilliant. That gap in my life has been safely filled and I’m free to look after the kids and myself and our busy lives the rest of the time.

I’ve gone on the odd date with others, and so has he. We’re open about it with each other and with them. But he has now met someone he really likes so he’s told me that it means we can’t see each other any more. I totally understand and respect that, and wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have romantic feelings for him and we wouldn’t work as a proper couple for various reasons even if I wanted it.

But still… gutted. I’ll miss our thing. I’ll have to get out there again to meet men, most of whom (no offence to any lurking men reading this) really don’t float my boat in any way whatsoever. Nothing to look forward to or arrange in that field after a boring day at work.

Not sure what the answer is really. Just a bit sad today. Never mind. Good luck to him though. Now, where’s that chocolate?

Did you actually read OPs post or are you not too smart?

Eh? She hasn't done that at all.

Have you never finished a TV or book series and thought: 'well what am I going to watch/rwad now?' or though 'aw, I'm really going to miss [insert colleague's name] here' when they leave, even if you're not friends as uscj and won't keep in touch?

It's a perfectly normal response to something nice or enjoyable coming to an end.

My goodness, why on earth is someone so finger-wagging and prissy about casual sex engaging with a lighthearted FWB thread?

It’s 2025, not 1825. We women don’t have to rein ourselves in to assuage the insecurities of the patriarchy.

As I've already said if people want to have casual sex then that's their choice. No problem.

I have a problem with someone having casual Sex and then whinging about the fact her sexual partner ended a no strings arrangement.

I'm failing to see where this " light hearted" narrative has come from.
There is nothing " light hearted" in what PP has said. She is complaining.

And why posters such as yourself virtually always feel the need to be personally abusive to other posters , and actually don't even bother to read properly what other posters are saying, is beyond me.

If it's perfectly normal why start a thread on MN complaining about it?

Are you new here?

people start all sorts of threads about all sorts of shite. From which wallpaper to I’m pregnant.

vast majority is “perfectly normal” shite that people just want to talk about for whatever inane reason.

Because discussing things is normal too. Why else would you be on a forum if not to duscuss things?

You are confusing an actual relationship with FWB.

Bloody hell, the patriarchy rules supreme here, doesn't it?

OP, I wish you well; eat all the chocolate you fancy while you're feeling bummed out and all the best finding a similar arrangement.

I'm out of here, these responses are just depressing.

She wasn't whinging or moaning. You're the one who's doing that.
I'd say her reaction to her arrangement ending is far more measured than your bizarre response to her thread!

It's a space to talk about anything and everything. There isn't a minimum requirement for how seriously a relationship ending must affect an individual before they can discuss it.

it does sting a bit. Mine was 16 years and I felt a bit weird when it ended

Well yes this is a forum for discussion.
But as a lot of posters on this thread are demonstrating their response to someone giving a point of view they don't agree with is to tell them to get off the thread and actually be abusive and u pleasant.
I posted a perfectly reasonable reply to OP abd immediately was told my opinion was of no relevance and to get off the thread.
And since then I've been similarly ganged up on by posters who have a different view point.
Perhaps you should be directing some criticism at them for basically trying g to police who can or can't post on the thread

Yes they are depressing aren't they?
Once again a pile on by posters who have no toleration for view points that don't chime with and reinforce their own.

I’m really not. Unfortunately 21st century or not fact remains that a large number of men do not respect women who have sex with them casually.

It can 💯 be mutual, highly enjoyable both sides and not saying that double standard is right. Just that it’s an ongoing fact.
Women of course should be able to do whatever the F they want but it’s pretty clear at the end of the day WB viewed her as dial-a-shag and once someone he deemed better came along he was off.
Know he doesn’t owe OP anything or vice versa but OP herself says it still stings which it would at least on some level after 3 years. Men can and do sleep with women they aren’t that fussed about. Not saying that’s OP. Women tend to have higher standards.

Totally get you OP. If I were divorced, I don’t think I want to find another man to move into my life. But what you had sounds perfect. It would be great to have a reliable partner to fulfill the sexual needs. I totally get it’s hard to find that person you fancy enough to want to have sex with, and that they are also good in bed.

I don’t know what some PP were so harsh to you. It can be you lost your tennis pair partner and now you are single again and need to find another guy to play pairs with.

Have chocolates and hope you have a good day with your teens

Commiserations to you op. It is a difficult thing indeed to find a fuck buddy who isn't a headwrecker on an ego trip, or, only interested in his own pleasure. Sad to lose that.

Still, a few years of good sex, good on ya.
'Smile because it happened' and all that.

Not being harsh on OP. She deserves a little bit more consideration and respect just my view. Hard to do that with no strings.
Also talked in general. As someone said sometimes MN can be a bit of an echo chamber. Say something that touches a nerve or someone doesn’t agree with and the responder gets rounded on. Should be space for a wide range of views whatever the topic.

Just to put this into context for the hard-of-understanding, I was way more disappointed that Easter when I discovered that my Lindor egg was hollow and not a giant regular Lindor.

He was a great shag. I will miss it because I like great shags. It’s a shame. I can’t be arsed really trying to find a replacement and the thought is a bit dispiriting. But that’s it. I’m not crying into my Easter bonnet about it. He goes with my best wishes and I retain a sackful of fun memories.

To be fair op, you did start a long OP about feeling “gutted” and “sad”

and I suppose posters just responded to what did appear that it had hit you hard

Did. you get your teens out for that walk op?!

@Cushionette endulge in them chocolates….soon ur luck will change ….✊🏿

Are we really stooping to the level of explaining why someone would be sad (even very sad! Even gutted!) when they lose a very good thing they had in their lives?

feels like commenters are playing dumb by pretending they don’t understand why someone would be sad when a good thing goes away. “If you’re sad, it can only be one thing: proof that you were attached and couldn’t do casual sex… because… I find casual sex threatening….”

Perfectly normal to be sad when something so good ends. Proves nothing about the problems with a casual sex partner.

This wasn’t a FWB situation though was it? Essentially, apart from the fact he wasn’t paid, he was a male escort.

There are agencies where you could find someone who was prepared to come round for a shag, but it’ll cost.

But FWB is precisely that - there’s a friend element, and there wasn’t here.

Just when I worried I’d struggle to find anything hotter than my FWB, along comes this take.

Did you talk pre or post sex? Or was it literally undress, shag, go?