Dumped by FWB on Easter

[Cushionette]

I’m not religious and it’s not a ‘proper’ relationship so i shouldn’t really be sad that he’s ended it over Easter. But I still am! Pretty gutted actually. Lucky that it’s literally a festival of chocolate today. Would it be wrong to eat several entire eggs as a coping mechanism?

Perfect FWB scenario. Three years since I met him on Tinder having had a couple of years of post-divorce dating without any kind of romantic or sexual spark with anyone. He’s a lovely man but wasn’t looking for anything serious and I wasn’t bothered either. I fancied the pants off him though and our second ‘date’ was bedroom-based. Since then that’s all we’ve done. Literally nothing else. One of us will text the other to arrange a time, we’ll meet, a quick text to say thanks afterwards, and repeat again after a few weeks. No contact in between. It’s been brilliant. That gap in my life has been safely filled and I’m free to look after the kids and myself and our busy lives the rest of the time.

I’ve gone on the odd date with others, and so has he. We’re open about it with each other and with them. But he has now met someone he really likes so he’s told me that it means we can’t see each other any more. I totally understand and respect that, and wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have romantic feelings for him and we wouldn’t work as a proper couple for various reasons even if I wanted it.

But still… gutted. I’ll miss our thing. I’ll have to get out there again to meet men, most of whom (no offence to any lurking men reading this) really don’t float my boat in any way whatsoever. Nothing to look forward to or arrange in that field after a boring day at work.

Not sure what the answer is really. Just a bit sad today. Never mind. Good luck to him though. Now, where’s that chocolate?

Wine poured , tinder activated ! 😂

@RedRock41 op wasn’t looking for respect . She was looking for hot sex and got it!
Sounds like there was no lack of respect . You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions .
You don’t get to 3 years of getting naked together without trust and respect in those situations.

Thanks for starting this thread OP, I've had a great laugh at all the replies. You're even obsessed with chocolate now and using it as a substitute to your FWB situation😂classic

Hope you're ok and the suger levels aren't too high. Best you get yourself that vibrator and never see another man again, or maybe just a male escort, oh and don't abandon your children....women are odd at times on here 🙄

Yes it's great fun isn't it sitting and sniggering at other people when they actually take an OP seriously and post accordingly?

I didn't realise the purpose of MN was to set people up so people can have a laugh at their expense.

Jeeezus do you need surgery to remove that stick!! Calm down love

David Cameron fan I'm assuming.

Best thread in a while.
So it’s FWB but established really WB. Zero friendship. OP doesn’t need to be respected as an occasional cup of tea if there was time and a bit of small talk, nothing heavy obviously before or after for no strings on call or dial up ‘hot’ sex is fun.
MNetters are ‘hilarious’ or ‘jealous’ or ‘repressed’ or a ‘dick’ for not wanting to be a booty call themselves or for not understanding what a great arrangement they’ve missed out on. Silly us. 🙋‍♀️
OP would never have agreed to just wham/bam - had to be occasional tea/bit of small talk too. But all about the hot sex too. Not confusing at all.
There are no feelings whatsoever but normal to feel a bit ‘sad’ and ‘gutted’ about a situation that has ended - bit like a tennis partner finding a better one - of course you’d feel a bit put out… but thankfully (call the Vatican 📞 ) the sadness has evaporated after a walk and as the day went on anyways.
Being surrounded by chocolate 🍫 whole other story. It may or may not be the real source of upset.
OP has referenced a relationship wouldn’t of worked anyways for a number of reasons but that conclusion arrived at without considering it at all!? So definitely never more than tea, news, weather.
Was all such a great liberating experience OP not looking to repeat it any time soon and anyone who might want bit more for OP, after 3 years than just you can f* off now I have found something better … are rounded on?
+There’s always trust and respect too in nakedness!? Ok. 🙄 Yet we are the ones making generalisations.
You do you that side of MN…all so simple really. Silly us this end 😉🍫… cue further panto responses…

@Seagreensmokeyblue Have you never stopped to think that maybe, just maybe it was your aggressive responses that led to the exchanges people had with you?

People were engaging with you just fine and then you started getting meaner and meaner about the OP saying she was whining and moaning, and how it reeked of entitlement.

@kkloo
This was the reponse I got to my first post back on page 2 of the thread at 11. 34 today:

FWB doesn't mean you have to be friends, it can mean being matey/friendly. Who actually cares if you wouldn't want a FWB situation? What do your preferences have to do with the OP? How is your advice helpful?

I don't think this is engaging with me reasonably. It's me being told in no uncertain terms that my opinion was worthless.
And most of the posters who quoted anything I said were similarly unpleasant and some actually abusive.

You are still stuck in some weird narrative that in casual sex relationships someone is being taken advantage of.

he didn’t get a better offer. He got a different one. The OP didn’t want a full relationship with him. He didn’t want a full relationship with the OP. The op makes it very clear that he wasn’t the person she would want to actually be with. Just have sec with.

You are so determined to try to put a victim taken advantage of slant on this either because you are too limited to understand some people actually want no strings fun or because you have some desire ti try to undermine people.

It wasn’t anything like an escort. More like a sex buddy. But people use FWB quite broadly. Which is absolutely fine.

Why are you so hostile? You are like some sort of aggressive pit bull. No idea why as this isn’t exactly a controversial thread.

It was very reasonable. You didn't post what that post was in response to, which was extremely patronising, and then when you got responses that you didn't like you just kept getting meaner and meaner about the OP.

Late to the thread but yes @Cushionette as a single mum this arrangement was convenient and satisfying so understandable how you are feeling.
With your dc being teenagers they will soon be off having lived of there own. this may be the right time to start dating and find someone with to have great we. With that’s yours!

I absolutely stand by that post. Your opinion about whether a FWB situation would be right for you is worthless to the OP
She didn't ask for people's opinions on whether they themselves would want a FWB. All you did was try to shame the OP and belittle her for choosing a different model of relationship to the one you would choose. It was judgemental and unnecessary.

So OP starts a thread about the end of a relationship with a FWB. And it turns out that the relationship had actually no element of friendship in it and so it wasn't even a FWB.
And she is supposedly " gutted" and " sad" and " doesn't know how she will find someone else" to replace this guy .
Then we have a whole load of posters voracially shouting down other posters who question why, if it's supposed to be a no commitment relationship , OP is acting as if she has been badly done to because the guy was perfectly within his rights to end the arrangement when he had found a better option.
Then we are told by OP that actually she wasn't really bothered about the relationship ending and apparently the opening post did not reflect how she felt. It's no big deal.
So everyone was really wasting their time posting anyway.

This thread makes a mockery of MN. Particularly the OP's total vote face.

Well, I am not eating chocolate trying to forget about a guy, am I? So what are you trying to prove?
Make it 3/4 posts.

That's really not what happened.

She wasn't acting as though she was badly done to.
She was sad that a good fun thing was over. She didn't criticise him or complain about him. It's normal to be sad when something enjoyable ends.

Her op seemed a bit tongue in cheek and dramatic hyperbole to me.

That some people took it as deadly serious is, I guess, more about personality than anything else.

Where it was taken as an excuse to push a view that any casual sex can only ever be the guy using the woman was less understandable.

A "mockery of mumsnet" is pretty risible though. What do you think this website is supposed to be? 😂

You’re right. The voracial abuse on here about my vote face is awful.

Anyway, I survived the night somehow, and will doubtless struggle through today as the chocolate obsessed, victimised harlot that I know I am. I plan to spend it reading about the true definition of friendship whilst sewing myself into my knickers to avoid any further confusion or inappropriate non-feminine behaviour.

some weird responses on this thread. I get what you mean @Cushionette; and you sound entirely reasonable to me. I wonder if there is any chocolate left.

vote face 😅😅😅

Some of the responses make me smile. I’m touched that people take time out of their day to reply and try and help me, but the requirement for literal accuracy is very weird! I’m amazed that those people querying whether the F in FWB was truly appropriate weren’t also urging me to seek urgent medical attention having obviously been disembowelled (I admitted to being ‘gutted’).

For the avoidance of doubt - I was mildly saddened by the ending of a relationship with a man whose genitals I rubbed mine against approximately every three weeks over a three year period. There was often a cup of tea involved afterwards, along with superficial conversation and the expression of mutual gratitude for the general enjoyment of the preceding hour or so. I found the experience enjoyable for several reasons but am conscious of both its fleeting, unserious nature and its importance relative to other things in my life. In order to manage the disappointment of this arrangement ending I indulged in humorous Mumsnet messaging and the consumption of handily-available Easter eggs.

I may have used words which misrepresented facts or over-dramatised emotions. Under many circumstances I’d apologise, but if we’re being totally honest now I need to tell anyone confused that I don’t really care!

That should be on Pedants' Corner.

How are you feeling today OP? Ready to reload Tinder? Or still drowning in chocolate?!