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Original poster

Dumped by FWB on Easter

194 replies

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 09:18

I’m not religious and it’s not a ‘proper’ relationship so i shouldn’t really be sad that he’s ended it over Easter. But I still am! Pretty gutted actually. Lucky that it’s literally a festival of chocolate today. Would it be wrong to eat several entire eggs as a coping mechanism?

Perfect FWB scenario. Three years since I met him on Tinder having had a couple of years of post-divorce dating without any kind of romantic or sexual spark with anyone. He’s a lovely man but wasn’t looking for anything serious and I wasn’t bothered either. I fancied the pants off him though and our second ‘date’ was bedroom-based. Since then that’s all we’ve done. Literally nothing else. One of us will text the other to arrange a time, we’ll meet, a quick text to say thanks afterwards, and repeat again after a few weeks. No contact in between. It’s been brilliant. That gap in my life has been safely filled and I’m free to look after the kids and myself and our busy lives the rest of the time.

I’ve gone on the odd date with others, and so has he. We’re open about it with each other and with them. But he has now met someone he really likes so he’s told me that it means we can’t see each other any more. I totally understand and respect that, and wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t have romantic feelings for him and we wouldn’t work as a proper couple for various reasons even if I wanted it.

But still… gutted. I’ll miss our thing. I’ll have to get out there again to meet men, most of whom (no offence to any lurking men reading this) really don’t float my boat in any way whatsoever. Nothing to look forward to or arrange in that field after a boring day at work.

Not sure what the answer is really. Just a bit sad today. Never mind. Good luck to him though. Now, where’s that chocolate?

OP posts:
LucieLemon · 20/04/2025 15:28

RedRock41 · 20/04/2025 14:59

I’m really not. Unfortunately 21st century or not fact remains that a large number of men do not respect women who have sex with them casually.

It can 💯 be mutual, highly enjoyable both sides and not saying that double standard is right. Just that it’s an ongoing fact.
Women of course should be able to do whatever the F they want but it’s pretty clear at the end of the day WB viewed her as dial-a-shag and once someone he deemed better came along he was off.
Know he doesn’t owe OP anything or vice versa but OP herself says it still stings which it would at least on some level after 3 years. Men can and do sleep with women they aren’t that fussed about. Not saying that’s OP. Women tend to have higher standards.

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Then it’s a good job my self worth isn’t solely reliant on gaining the respect of men.

PowderRoom · 20/04/2025 15:33

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 12:57

Yep. He did nothing wrong at all.

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And I wouldn’t be too quick to think it’s all over because he is seeing someone he likes — relationships end for all kinds of reasons. With one of my FWBs, I stopped seeing him for a bit because I’d met someone I liked. Then the other guy turned out to be duller than anticipated, so I ended it, and asked former FWB if he was up for resuming our arrangement. He was, and we did.

I’m not saying this will definitely happen, OP, but it might be worth thinking about whether you would consider resuming your previous arrangement if your former FWB becomes single again? Or whether that’s it for you.

ruffler45 · 20/04/2025 15:37

You both knew it was going to happen sooner or later..

Draw a line under it and move on

FortyElephants · 20/04/2025 15:43

Never2many · 20/04/2025 15:23

This wasn’t a FWB situation though was it? Essentially, apart from the fact he wasn’t paid, he was a male escort.

There are agencies where you could find someone who was prepared to come round for a shag, but it’ll cost.

But FWB is precisely that - there’s a friend element, and there wasn’t here.

Oh stop it

Clytemnestra21 · 20/04/2025 15:57

Commiserations OP. You sound very measured and pragmatic about it all. Hope you’ve had some yummy chocolate today and that you’re not without a similarly satisfying arrangement for too long.

RedRock41 · 20/04/2025 16:08

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 15:07

Just to put this into context for the hard-of-understanding, I was way more disappointed that Easter when I discovered that my Lindor egg was hollow and not a giant regular Lindor.

He was a great shag. I will miss it because I like great shags. It’s a shame. I can’t be arsed really trying to find a replacement and the thought is a bit dispiriting. But that’s it. I’m not crying into my Easter bonnet about it. He goes with my best wishes and I retain a sackful of fun memories.

180… Not hard of hearing…

  • it’s not a ‘proper’ relationship so i shouldn’t really be sad that he’s ended it*
  • Would it be wrong to eat several entire eggs as a coping mechanism?*
  • gutted. I’ll miss our thing.*
  • Just a bit sad today*

Should maybe have started a thread about Easter Eggs in that case 🤔… #hollow

Agapornis · 20/04/2025 16:10

I tried being friends with a FWB once...we just ended up shagging 😂
Totally understand your feelings OP, mine moved to a country on the other side of the world. Sad times, hard to replace.

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 16:14

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 15:09

To be fair op, you did start a long OP about feeling “gutted” and “sad”

and I suppose posters just responded to what did appear that it had hit you hard

Did. you get your teens out for that walk op?!

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We had a lovely walk, thanks. Very enjoyable to be out with them in the fresh air. And I burned enough calories to probably be able to now ear 0.2 of an Easter egg.

It’s ironic, given this thread’s subject; that I am considering a few minutes with my (chocolate) rabbit.

OP posts:
CiscoTS · 20/04/2025 16:15

RedRock41 · 20/04/2025 10:55

Might as well aim for #1. Evolution plays a part. Men as a result are usually happy to sleep around with ‘low value’ mates as there’s no cost to them. Almost any woman will do. Low value meaning easy to mate with.
Women are a bit more discerning as higher quality value and as you’ve admitted yourself plays a part and you did find him very attractive.
Women (unfairly and don’t agree that it’s right - just saying in men’s eyes) often are devalued in a FWB situation.
You don’t need to agree but ask him if he wants to keep in touch with you as friends… if he says yes and doesn’t follow through, says no or doesn’t respond, I rest my case: all benefits and not friends… 🏆 🙋‍♀️

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How to be a dick for Easter Sunday 👍🏻

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 16:17

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 15:24

Did you talk pre or post sex? Or was it literally undress, shag, go?

Course we did. Never deep and meaningful but we had lots of amusing chats. Sometimes if we had a bit more time we’d have a cup of tea or whatever. It wasn’t clinical and there was never awkwardness at the end. It was fun.

OP posts:
Phase2 · 20/04/2025 16:28

Sound some like mutually agreed fuck buddies rather than FWB, stings to have it end but easier than when emotions are involved, FWB usually has a level of non sex stuff. Good luck finding your replacement op x

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:36

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 16:17

Course we did. Never deep and meaningful but we had lots of amusing chats. Sometimes if we had a bit more time we’d have a cup of tea or whatever. It wasn’t clinical and there was never awkwardness at the end. It was fun.

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“Course we did”

how was I supposed to know?!

Dweetfidilove · 20/04/2025 16:41

OP, I hope you've enjoyed the Easter cheer on your thread as much as you're enjoying your eggs. The thread has provided much entertainment .

Hope you can find a worthy replacement / escort/fuck buddy/not FWB 😂.

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 16:51

tooksometime · 20/04/2025 16:36

“Course we did”

how was I supposed to know?!

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Soz. Didn’t mean it to come across like that.

I’d find it dead weird to not talk to a guy, and just get up and leave (or for him to do that). We were always very considerate - a fresh towel for a shower, our favourite types of tea! There was absolutely a routine to it. You could probably set your watch to the bit between arrival and getting down to it! But we did chat, yes.

OP posts:
Kitchensnails · 20/04/2025 16:53

Never2many · 20/04/2025 15:23

This wasn’t a FWB situation though was it? Essentially, apart from the fact he wasn’t paid, he was a male escort.

There are agencies where you could find someone who was prepared to come round for a shag, but it’ll cost.

But FWB is precisely that - there’s a friend element, and there wasn’t here.

Can surely only be bitter men that post shite like this on here.

Seagreensmokeyblue · 20/04/2025 17:04

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 15:07

Just to put this into context for the hard-of-understanding, I was way more disappointed that Easter when I discovered that my Lindor egg was hollow and not a giant regular Lindor.

He was a great shag. I will miss it because I like great shags. It’s a shame. I can’t be arsed really trying to find a replacement and the thought is a bit dispiriting. But that’s it. I’m not crying into my Easter bonnet about it. He goes with my best wishes and I retain a sackful of fun memories.

I think.this is what is called changing the narrative.

In your opening post you talked at least twice about being gutted. How sad you were . How you didn't know how you would replace him.

Now apparently it's no big deal.

And a bit of a joke really.

So yes it is hard to understand when an OP says one thing at the beginning and then changes the picture later on in the thread.

I think the guy had a lucky escape if you are comparing him unfavourably with your chocolate rabbit.

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 17:09

Seagreensmokeyblue · 20/04/2025 17:04

I think.this is what is called changing the narrative.

In your opening post you talked at least twice about being gutted. How sad you were . How you didn't know how you would replace him.

Now apparently it's no big deal.

And a bit of a joke really.

So yes it is hard to understand when an OP says one thing at the beginning and then changes the picture later on in the thread.

I think the guy had a lucky escape if you are comparing him unfavourably with your chocolate rabbit.

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I think I’ve just felt better as the hours have gone on!

Can’t say for sure if there’s a direct causative relationship with the amount of chocolate I’ve consumed, but there’s definitely a correlation.

OP posts:
BigLooser · 20/04/2025 17:12

Prepared to be ganged up on but seriously, your constant mentioning of chocolate sounds very much like sublimation. When you want to talk about him so talk about the chocolate instead.
It's OK to be sad. No need to try to appear light-hearted just to prove to some MNetters that you are totally cool with casual sex and the WB partner moving on with someone else.

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/04/2025 17:13

@Cushionette i think you had the perfect set up for a busy person and a mum . I can see why you will miss it/him!
Where can I find one ? 😊

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 17:19

BigLooser · 20/04/2025 17:12

Prepared to be ganged up on but seriously, your constant mentioning of chocolate sounds very much like sublimation. When you want to talk about him so talk about the chocolate instead.
It's OK to be sad. No need to try to appear light-hearted just to prove to some MNetters that you are totally cool with casual sex and the WB partner moving on with someone else.

I hope nobody gangs up on you but I’m afraid you’re wrong. I’m talking a lot about chocolate today because it’s Easter and we’re all surrounded by it. That’s it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 17:20

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/04/2025 17:13

@Cushionette i think you had the perfect set up for a busy person and a mum . I can see why you will miss it/him!
Where can I find one ? 😊

Well I found mine on Tinder but I think that was a needle in a haystack scenario and I wouldn’t recommend it!

OP posts:
BigLooser · 20/04/2025 17:26

Cushionette · 20/04/2025 17:19

I hope nobody gangs up on you but I’m afraid you’re wrong. I’m talking a lot about chocolate today because it’s Easter and we’re all surrounded by it. That’s it.

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I have two children and have purchased plenty of chocolate eggs for our friends' kids too and also baked a chocolate Easter cake. I still do not talk about chocolate in every sentence and neither do other posters. If you re-read your posts (you don't have to do it of course) you will see what I mean. You are bothered. It's OK.

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 17:34

Sorry OP, you’ll miss this sort of your life. Sounds like no strings sex rather than FEB, but still important to you.

Clafoutie · 20/04/2025 17:35

For goodness sake, so far the OP has been criticised for her ‘standards’, had something that she had found fulfilling referred to as ‘an unfortunate arrangement’, had somebody suggest she’d used the wrong term, and finally now is repressing feelings!
It does seem that the worst critics of women are other women!
I suspect some people are simply envious of what the OP clearly enjoyed, and good for her.
Hope you feel less sad soon OP.

Original poster
Cushionette · 20/04/2025 17:42

BigLooser · 20/04/2025 17:26

I have two children and have purchased plenty of chocolate eggs for our friends' kids too and also baked a chocolate Easter cake. I still do not talk about chocolate in every sentence and neither do other posters. If you re-read your posts (you don't have to do it of course) you will see what I mean. You are bothered. It's OK.

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Just had a quick count. I’ve posted about 20 times on this thread, and about 10 have mentioned the word ‘chocolate’. So about half.

You’ve posted three times on this thread, and two have mentioned ‘chocolate’. So two thirds.

I hope you are managing your chocolate obsession and get over it soon. It’s OK.

OP posts: