New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

I wet the bed when I had Covid in 2022 - no alcohol involved, I literally coughed so much I peed myself. I wanted to die of shame as well as feeling like I was dying of Covid. Thankfully my DP was in the spare room because I was sick, and we’ve been together over 10 years so he knows it’s not something I do on the regular, but oh me, it was such an awful feeling.

Shit. I just realised, he was from Leek.

@Serraphina Why the hell would I tell her? Or anyone other than a sea of anonymous people on mn?

I certainly don’t share any intimate details of my life with my children, of any sort.

Gross. This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me.

Not a dealbreaker?! In a man you’ve known a month?

seriously, raise your standards

Shame he’s not from Looe 😜

Embarrassed would be getting up and changing the sheets apologetically.

Can we just have a brief moment to reflect on the awesomeness of this joke?

Thank you 🤣.

I'm a man. In my early years, I have been so drunk I couldn't feel my face, but I didn't wet the bed. Now I'm in my 50s, I know better than to get that drunk, and I'm still hopeful I wouldn't wet the bed. I suspect a more underlying issue here.

Full credit to OP for being open minded, however I agree with previous posters that life is full of problems without stacking the deck against yourself.

He should have at least cleaned up after himself in the morning, apologised etc.. and not just left you with a pissy bed. That would annoy me more than anything.

My dh has sort of done this, he actually got out of bed and had a weird drunken dream that he'd walked to the bathroom but had actually just opened the bedroom door and pissed in the hallway. We laugh about it now. But that's once in 12 years.

He definitely knew. It’s the fact that he left it, said nothing and left you to clean it up without a word, more than the deed itself.

Yep.

Maybe you should check why you feel so ashamed?

Why would you not ask advice from a friend or family member if you are so sure its a one off with a reason?

I suspect because you know its not a one off. He was likely so pissed when he left (from secretly drinking) that he didnt even notice. Did he travel home covered in stale piss - did he sit on your sofa in this state or dry himself off with your towels?

❤

So he woke up or got up after you amd you haven't yet received a bucket full of roses and a heartfelt apology along with a delivery of a new mattress and bedding?

You need to end this relationship if none of the above has happened.

Rug Doctor products work well. They do one for dog/cat urine.

I imagine it works for human urine - fortunately never needed to use it for that.

I’d have been so embarassed.

@yyydelilah 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

I should imagine he mostly definitely knew.

I would imagine he was in a state of utter mortification hence he didn't confess. I kind of understand that to be honest. (Although, obviously it is not good)

It's probably coloured his cheeks purple and he's relieved the horror all day and probably will continue to do so for many months to come.

I would probably not go down the deep talk route- he'll just naturally get defensive. I'd do something like this :

"Dave, you'll need to fund me a new mattress after last night"

This will then open up the conversation in a non confrontational manner. It's giving him room to then talk.

If he lies and says he doesn't know what you're talking about , you know he is lying and Is covering for something.

He may be extremely apologetic and pay the money. Then you see what happens thereafter. If it happens again , you know a problem is there (it's alcohol related ) you then have a decision to make regarding ending things.

That'd be my advice. This could be a very mortifying mistake that may be rectified. (Or not)

Maybe OP could get a man litter box.

God that reminds me of the movie trainspotting when that guy shit the bed and tried to take the sheets to wash them.

he 100% knew. It would have been on his clothes and underwear too. The fact he just left you to deal with it says a lot. Maybe he was embarrassed but even so, not ok.

he might be so embarrassed he ghosts you and you won’t have to deal with him. I’d send him the bill to get the mattress properly cleaned.

i always have a waterproof mattress protector on my bed. Never know with kids, sickness ect. I buy good quality bamboo ones. They aren’t the old noisy plastic sheets like they used to be.

Ugh. I would be binning him off and the mattress, no way could I sleep on that. You can’t get rid of the smell of a child’s piss on a mattress, I dread to think with a grown man’s!

How are you going to clean and sanitise the mattress OP ?

Of course he's hiding it well. That's why he's such fun. Until he isnt.

And the instant clicking is mirroring. Don't fall for it.

This may well not be relevant to your chap but just a thought…this happened to a friend of mine. She couldn’t understand why her chap might have wet the bed, as although they had been drinking, they were not insensibly drunk.

A heart to heart later on and he admitted he’d taken cocaine, which did often have that effect on him. She threw him back.

He may have been embarrassed but he’s a grown up and should have cleaned up his own piss