New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

This! Grim grim grim!

Ensure he pays for a new mattress.
Good god shat some women have to deal with.
What an utter pig.

@NewManIssue

before this, you had had a great time with him, you got on well and you thought there was a future in it.

Don't let everyone here turn this into something it might not be.

He may have changed a medication he's on that hasn't reacted well to alcohol? It may be the first time.- sometime has to be the first time. He may not be aware of having done it..

Talk to him with an open mind,

As for letting him meet your children 🤣🤣🤣 at 32 years old, not months old, I do think she'll cope!!

Yep, agree. This is grim.

Then perhaps don’t drink? 🤷‍♀️

@MolkosTeenageAngst that’s pretty much where I’m at. Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me let alone this!

@AltitudeCheck there is no way it could’ve been me. It was literally under him to the extent that I really did think it was sweat. like I said I’ve not experienced this before so I needed some perspectives and I’ve definitely got them for which I am very grateful and appreciative, especially the laughs!

If he's in his 50s, prostate issues might be part of the problem. Incontinence is a a problem for many in midlife.

I had a bf who did this regularly when he got drunk, he was a secret alcoholic and would never acknowledge it or do anything about it. Leave!

This.

the fact that he so avoidant of something that is right there doesn’t bode well.

This happened to me once but he didn't run off in the morning and was mortified. actually, maybe he would've run off, but he had come back to mine after a night out and needed me to give him a lift in the morning. only saw him once after that (and more out of necessity as i got stuck in the city n a work trip and needed a bed and figured he owed me!). it was awkward! he'd be about that age, so if his initials are PH, theres a chance he's done this before!!

There is absolutely no way even if he did it in his sleep that he did not know he had pissed the bed when he woke up. Just no way so he must have known and slunk away. The fact he thought this was acceptable even taking embarrassment into consideration would be the dealbreaker for me.

He’d be sleeping in his own bed in his own house, and never again in mine! Life’s too short to put up with this gross behaviour.

I went out with someone like this years ago, grim, happened every time he got pissed, he’s not a plumber is he?

You'd be potty to stay with him. He's taking a the piss.

Op dump him and the mattress.

Even if it is a medical issue rather than alcohol he should at least have apologised, and dealt with it.
He's done it and somehow hoping you wouldn't notice.

Bin, plenty other fish in the sea!

I have wet the bed, as a fully grown adult, stone cold sober and with my DH (new boyfriend at the time) asleep next to me. I was dreaming that I was sitting on the toilet and started to pee in the dream but unfortunately peed in real life and was very much not sitting on the toilet. I had to wake him up and tell him what had happened, I was mortified and offered to leave and never speak to him again. Honestly, it was absolutely awful. I felt disgusting and so ashamed. My DH told me to stop over reacting and stripped the bed, aired the mattress topper - thankfully no major damage had been done as I woke up quickly! And got on with our day. I would say as a one off, it is not a deal breaker as you truly never know when it may be you. However, he absolutely must have known he had done the toilet and left the bed in a mess which is certainly a deal breaker for me! That lack of action afterwards is worse imo.

@SpringIsSpringing25 This is what my initial reaction was, but I am aware that I am very forgiving sometimes too much so, so I wanted a reality check.

I feel like I’ve known him forever we just clicked straight away, But I do have limits.

And yes, my 32 years old daughter won’t need therapy, especially as it’s the first man I’ve dated in the 5 years I’ve been single, that she’s met 😂

He's probably my ex.

Shocked at some of the responses, tbh.

Someone who destroys thousands of pounds worth of your belongings, and expects you to clean up their bodily excretions, as you discover then sort through the damage, while they pretend it didn't even happen?

How is this anything other than an automatic dealbreaker?

So either you didn't read the thread either to see my update. Or like me, you read it, posted then an update came later.

Surname beginning with F?

🤣😂🤣 I wish he had taken the piss in the loo!!

100% agree with this. You are only seeing the tip of the iceburg with what he drinks. He's an alchoholic. Why is someone leaving your bed in such a filthy state not a deal breaker? Even the heroin addict in Trainspotting slipped the bed when he shat it .... thats whats coming next for you (dont ask me how I know).

In the bin.

No. But lets say the best diet I went on was when I lost 250% of my bodyweight in ugly gristle in a flash.

And yes, my 32 years old daughter won’t need therapy, especially as it’s the first man I’ve dated in the 5 years I’ve been single, that she’s met

She will when you tell her this story especially that its not a dealbreaker for you.