New Partner Wet the Bed

[NewManIssue]

That’s it, basically.

I met someone about a month ago and it has been fantastic really good fun no issues at all, we’ve done absolutely loads together, met friends of each other and an adult child, and have lots of planned.

He came over yesterday afternoon because we were both off work and we went out for a walk had a few drinks. He made us some food. We had a few more drinks and we were both pretty drunk, I will admit.

The morning when I went over to give him a hug as the alarm was about to go off the bed was soaking, I presumed with sweat…no particular smell at this stage.

I left my bed open to air with a view to stripping the sheets after work, however when I went back in there the whole room reeked of urine and there was a huge stain and it has gone through my mattress topper and my mattress is still soaking wet as are the pillows.

I’ve never experienced this before, Although I know it can be something some men do when they are drunk…

I feel like it’s something I need to speak to him face-to-face about which I could probably do tomorrow when he finishes work at about 9:30pm but otherwise I’m unlikely to see him for a few days.

I feel a little awkward. I don’t want him embarrass him however surely it’s not the first time even if this is the first time with me since I’ve known him.

It’s not a dealbreaker initially, however if it’s a regular thing, it’s definitely a dealbreaker. I think I’m just gonna have to say, I had to sleep on the sofa tonight…the bed was still wet and it wasn’t sweat - which we initially assumed…

If anyone can give me any advice or have experienced this, please shout!

Bloody typical it has been going amazingly well, For the first time in my life, I’m with a man who is more keen on me than I am him (guards up still 🤣)

It’s not a dealbreaker

Have some self respect. If this isn’t the deal breaker I dread to think how far it would have to go to become one.

Call me old fashioned but continence is a turn on for me.

@NewManIssue you need to raise the subject and let him do the talking, ask questions and if he’s lying or gets arsy you’ll know.

Trying to be fair, I wonder if it was a one off, it seems unusual?

How many nights have you spent with him previously? Any nights at his where there were telltale signs?

is he on medication that the alcohol affects?
Does he pee a lot of not much have you ever noticed?

He 1000000% knew. You mentioning sweat gave him a get out that he ran with so he didn’t have to own up.

He knowingly let you clean up his piss. Absolute creep, bet he denies it still.

🤣😂🤣 strangely enough me too

My ex and his brothers suffered from this when they'd drunk to excess. It got to the point (he lived with his mum and dad still and I used to stay over) that I gave him a single bed out of my bedroom and he slept on that when we'd been out! With a draw sheet on! I was horrified when I woke up covered in pee!!!

Forget 'he should apologise and strip the bed'!

He should own it at the time, apologise, strip and clean or dispose of all the soiled materials, buy you a new mattress and pillows, and stop drinking, at all, immediately.

Throw this one back, OP.

That must have been a pisser!

That’s why I want to see him face-to-face, And I do have self-respect if it’s a one off and I think there’s a genuine reason I will know when I see his face… But from what I’ve read, it’s very unlikely it’s a one off in which case….goodbye

A year or two in I’d maybe give him a chance if there were some feelings there and no other issues.

A month in? - no.

🤣🤣🤣 unfortunately so - the sweat thought was bad enough and I’m post menopausal

I used to know of someone who ruined loads of mattresses. He pissed the bed pretty much every time he had a drink.

Ew. How did the pillows get soaked??

He'd be buying me a new mattress, topper and sheets. And a waterproof sheet and single bed for himself.

It won't be a one off because he would have been mortified and cleaned up, stripped the bed, offered to replace your mattress pillows duvet and bed linen.

Instead he slunk out leaving you to discover and deal with.

Just the edge that had been on the wet patch I guess…they’re in the bin!

is your honeymoon going to be in Tena Reef?

How can you not realise?! Does he have a drink problem?

🤣😂🤣 stop it

Happens to me sometimes when drinking and don’t always have to have drunk that much, but can also drink and not have it happen so I’m not always expecting it. I would know if it had happened though. That said it could have been a one off, I have a friend who it happened to completely randomly having not happened before. It’s sensible to have a face to face discussion with him before making any decisions, for me personally bed wetting wouldn’t be a deal breaker but lying about it would be.

If it soaked through and even your pillows were wet, there's no way he didn't notice the bed was cold and wet when he woke up.

Is it possible he thinks you might have wet the bed and he's not said anything / thought you tries to pass it off as sweat to save your embarrassment?!

Very very unlikely this happened for the first time at 50 and almost certainly won't be the last time.

@LadyBracknellsHandbagg From what I’ve seen, no not a drink problem but as a previous poster said he could be hiding it very well from me.

He would have known and just chose to leave you to have to deal with it which in itself would concern me firstly. And getting too drunk to the point that he wet himself to me also I could not be dealing with, it’s not an issue to get drunk on occasion and have fun but waking up to a ruined mattress is absolutely not fun - you shouldn’t have to tolerate it and he should take responsibility for his alcohol consumption and not drink if it gets to that stage when he has had alcohol. Get rid of him and the mattress - oh, and let him know he owes you a new mattress. Honestly I would be fuming, mattresses are not cheap and this was completely his own fault.

I agree with this.
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This thread goes hand in hand with the one in AIBU atm where the OPs boyfriend won't clean up after himself on the toilet because it's the "woman's job." Needs an immediate dumping for leaving you to clear up his mess. Disgusting.