No Children at weddings AGAIN!!!!

[cathers]

Can't believe it. Opened the post this morning to find wedding invite number 3 for this summer. Yet again 'UNFORTUNATELY NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!' stipulated.

That now means that for three weekends in may and June we will have to choose between the wedding of 3 close family / friends or finding a babysitter for 12 hours at a time!All weddings are over 150 miles away.

Is this the current vogue to have adult only weddings? Personally find that some weddings without kids can be stuffy and v formal. Much prefer old fashioned celebratory sort! Any one else finding this?
What are you doing?

We've been invited to a wedding this summer where no children has been specified for the ceremony - our first LO will be 3 months old and there are at least 3 or 4 other couples invited who are in the same position of having a LO under 12 months. What this effectively means is that the couple getting married will not have a lot of their close friends there for the ceremony as the mothers (most likely) will all be back at the hotel with our respective LOs.

I can understand why people want to say their vows in an atmosphere which is free from screaming but the end result is that a lot of their mates won't be there either. I get the impression that the couple are somewhat annoyed that we won't all be there for the ceremony - I'd like to hear any suggestions from them about where I should leave my LO for the duration!

When we got married last year it never crossed our mind to exclude babies and children and having people there of every age was one of the great joys of the day.

At our wedding we had a creche until 10pm so they missed most of the boring meal - they were welcome but quickly discovered that the creche was more fun.

They enjoyed the scottish country dancing and my two informed me at 1am that it was time for them to go to bed as they were a bit tired

Made the wedding, much more fun than it would have been just with my family..

kewcumber- you are being facetious. I am 100% serious, when I say that if any parent can't give up a day at a weekend for a wedding, without her DC, then she /he has a serious work-life balance issue.

How you spend your time and your money is your choice-mine was to work part time and lose £millions over 20 years as a professional, over a lifetime, in order to see my children when they were small. I am not saying I am better than you for doing that, but sometimes people say they HAVE to work, when what they mean is they cannot have expensive holidays, cars, clothes, nights out etc, without their salary.

I know this is off topic, but what I am trying to say is that the excuse that you can't go to a child-free wedding cos it means a day in your lifetime without seeing your kids, seems a pretty thin excuse.

pixie I am a SAHM and needless to say a lady of leisure I'll have you know. but I am selfish and possibly immature at times

i'm doing that for my wedding next year, the private dining room at the venue will turn into a mini-creche with toys, dvds etc and hiring one of the nursery nurses from sons nursery to look after the kids

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I wouldn't go (nor have ever been to) any weddings like that, not my thing at all, can't think of anything worse for a wedding with just a load boring adults. It's an invite, you don't have to go nor are obliged.

I'm the complete opposite jellybeans. I can't imagine turning down an invite to a wedding because I thought it wasn't "my thing". A colleague at work is getting married and it's alcohol free because of their religion. Now, those on here who know me know how that's so not me . But she wants the whole team there and there's no way I would say no.

To me it's about going and helping the couple celebrate their marriage in whatever way they choose, and helping them make it a day to remember. What my preference is for a wedding is irrelevant.

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"sometimes people say they HAVE to work, when what they mean is they cannot have expensive holidays, cars, clothes, nights out etc, without their salary" - I'm sure they do Pixie but why would you assume thats the case with me?

Secondly - what I said was if I could do it for an afternoon I would but if it was too far and involved an overnight stay it wouldn;t be practical.

Again, I can't imagine anyone I'm so close to that they'd be devastated that I wasn't there who wouldn;t invite DS as well.

"I sometimes wonder how close the people involved really are, that they get so bent out of shape with each other over this kind of thing (I suspect not that close at all)." I think thats the point I'm trying to make Chequers - I just can't imagine it being an issue with someone I was very close to, on either side.

oh god hadnt even asked chequers...alot of my friends i'm sure would love it as they can chill out while the kids have fun...TBF the venue (a pub!) is quite small and we havr the whole place (it;s my DP's pub!) so i thought the kids could dip in and out of it as they wished

do you think i should ask evryone? the weddings not till next may!

What kind of a person does this make me? I am CHOOSING not to take my 1yo dd to our friend's wedding in July, as I am sure she would:

a) be bored out of her mind
b) make a lot of noise
c) break things in the 'boutique' hotel
d) Want to go to bed at a reasonable hour

And as I have posted before, I had no kids under 1 at my wedding in 2004.

it also depends on the nature and age of the child my 2 year old would probably be very distressed at being left with a stranger.

oooooooooooooh jelly i went to a wedding on friday that was no kids and it was fabo

i got very pissed

It probably aslo depends on how happy you are with the childcare alternatives leaving them at home. If your only alternative is expensive paid-for babysitter you are probably less likely to want to go - especially if your only holiday this year is a caravan holiday and ther wedding with probably cost as much as your week away between childcare, present, travel costs etc.

(Must give up those luxury holidays - thats what the real problem is)

but your DS doesnt have to be left with a stranger...you can go in there with him!! thought would be nice to have a room where the kids can hang out if they get bored...it is a very informal wedding. they will all be able to eat with us and stay with us all day if they so desire but if they fancy doing some colouring or watching a dvd they can do that too

oh I'm not suggesting its a bad idea swfity was only trying to suggest why some people might be unhappy with the idea.

TBh, i'd rather not take mine to a big wedding, i'd rather have it just dp & me having a good dance and piss up!

I'm having our wedding recption in our garden which is from 730, our children will be there and go to bed when tired - i wasn't going to specify no children but i'd rather not have 30 kids running around my house. Family children will be there and if people are struggling to find a babysitter i don't mind. But is that really unreasonable??

if there were lots of older children DS would pretty soon settel down - strnge older childrne being of course a completely different kettle of fish to strange adults in his 2 yr old brain!

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I think Pixie is just deranged.

PMSL at the thought of re-assessing my entier life because I cannot or will not re-arrange our weekends for someones wedding.

Is this for real!!!!!!!!!

agree again chequers - if I go to a wedding I wouldn't dream of moaning about anything (except to my mum afterwards!)

I don't like the odea of adult only weddings becasue they tend to involve copious amounts of alcohol and I don't drink and I'm single. So I tend to feel like the boring maiden aunt (in fact that generally who I get put with).