No Children at weddings AGAIN!!!!

[cathers]

Can't believe it. Opened the post this morning to find wedding invite number 3 for this summer. Yet again 'UNFORTUNATELY NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!' stipulated.

That now means that for three weekends in may and June we will have to choose between the wedding of 3 close family / friends or finding a babysitter for 12 hours at a time!All weddings are over 150 miles away.

Is this the current vogue to have adult only weddings? Personally find that some weddings without kids can be stuffy and v formal. Much prefer old fashioned celebratory sort! Any one else finding this?
What are you doing?

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Yes, civil ceremonies have to be in a place accessible to the public. It is one of the things taken into consideration when licensing venues. Madonaa had a problem with her own wedding over the public issue.

Quietly applauding Islandofsodor and hoping the local nursery arrange day out to local church/RO when Muffin gets married lol!!

Why do you assume I want a child-free wedding APM?

Actually I don't. I'm just able to see things from other people's point of view. It's a useful skill you know....

If you can see things from other peoples POV then why can't you see mine?

Oooh, pleased I found this thread...although haven't had time to read all of it. I'm in exactly this situation. A good friend's getting married this summer and is saying no babies or children allowed.
The wedding's on the West coast and I'm in London with a 7mo (will be about 9mo by the time of the wedding), still bf/ing and wondering how on earth I'm supposed to go to the wedding without my baby.
Bride to be suggested I should bring my mum and get her to babysit but not sure I want to do that!
Think I'm going to have to decline but I feel bad about missing her wedding and it's a shame because I love a good wedding

Actually APM - I do understand your points re: childcare and inconvenience.

I just don't think your ideas about what weddings should be are relevant to this kind of discussion.

Are you married btw? I take it you have a child/children? Many people should get married before they have children. How do you feel about that?

Should read: Many people believe that you should get married before you have children. How do you feel about that?

Thi isn't a disussion about Marriage which incidentally I am in favour of if it feels important to a couple, this is about weddings, sorry I must have misunderstood the OP- I thought she was flagging this topic up as an intersting topic for discussion lol!!

I think that a wedding being accessible to the public doesn't mean that individuals cannot be asked to leave if they are unwelcome: ie if a tramp comes in and starts shitting in his pants and shouting abuse while waving a can of Special Brew, it wouldn't be illegal to evict him. Likewise, a vengeful XP or some selfrighteous twat who wants to Make A Point can be thrown out if identified, without breaking the law.

But I'm always amused by the dumb breeders you get on threads like this. Having children is not compulsory, nor is liking them, and it's quite probable that some wedding invites don't include your DC because they don't want you there whining and pontificating either.

Well, let's hope you are married anyway. Would be terribly hypocritical for you to be banging on about how weddings are about children then to have had a child without getting married yourself.

if i go to a wedding, i like to get drunk.

therefore, no kids would give me an excuse to let loose.

why does someone have to be married to have an opinion, muffin?

i've been to loads of weddings spoiled by kids whose parents don't discipline them.

(I notice you refer to your partner as your DP and not your DH in a previous thread though APM)

They don't expat - but APMs point was that weddings are about having children. Hence I wanted to know as a parent if she was married, because by her logic children should involve marriage. I wanted to know if she was married seeing as she holds such strong views on what weddings are "for".

Magic, I think we will have to agree to disagree won't we?

And whether or not I am married does not determine whether I am allowed an opinion on weddings. That is rather disengenuous don't you think?

TBH I am not sure why my feelings on this topic have annoyed you so much, i can only assume you either do not have kids yourself or you vehemently dislike other peoples kids OR objected in some way to a childs behaviour at your own wedding?????

APM - I'm not married, I have kids, I like other people's kids.

I just strongly disagree with your assertion that weddings are about children. No-one bats and eyelid of someone has children without getting married, so why is there an expectation that marriage should always be about kids? The two can be mutually exclusive.

it's up to the person, though, APM. i mean, if you have a party, do you want to be told whom to invite?

weddings aren't about children, kids' birthday parties are.

Expat

If you read my other posts, all i have said is that it can be really difficult to attend weddings of people important to you if your kid's are excluded, i am not sure why Muffin has jumped on what I have said quite so vigorously as I have not said "all people who exclude kids are the devils spawn" lol

Yes I do have my own personal ideas of what weddings are all about and can understand why some people want adult only affairs, but if I am honest i just find it a bit odd when people have very traditional weddings, church service, vows etc etc and yet specifically exclude children, who traditionally would have been very close to centre stage as Bridesmaids and pageboys etc. This type of wedding has historically/traditionally been about procreation/ family values etc.

I do completely 'get' why people opt for non traditional weddings and I can understand (but still not like-that is my perogative) why people might want an adult only affair.But in a church, whuch is as one previous poster pointed out a public venue? It just doesn't reflect well on the bride and groom, sorry but thats just my humble view, and i know many epople will disagree.

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i would be pissed off if a baby was sobbing all the way through my marriage vows...and i have a child, so for childless couples i bet its even worse

If and when Dp and I choose to get married, we will have a wedding which will cater to all of our friends, family and kids, and the kids will be welcomed with open arms, they are just as dear and important to us as the adults.

It means we won't have a picture perfect affair, maybe someone will cry or loudly scratch their colouring in crayons, so bloody what!! That is life. It won't matter because we will be marrying each other and thats the important thing.

i thought weddings were traditionally about getting pissed and dancing to ABBA!

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