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Original poster

No Children at weddings AGAIN!!!!

322 replies

cathers · 16/05/2008 12:17

Can't believe it. Opened the post this morning to find wedding invite number 3 for this summer. Yet again 'UNFORTUNATELY NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!' stipulated.

That now means that for three weekends in may and June we will have to choose between the wedding of 3 close family / friends or finding a babysitter for 12 hours at a time!All weddings are over 150 miles away.

Is this the current vogue to have adult only weddings? Personally find that some weddings without kids can be stuffy and v formal. Much prefer old fashioned celebratory sort! Any one else finding this?
What are you doing?

OP posts:
Pheebe · 16/05/2008 12:22

Don't go! I would be deeply insulted to be invited to a family/friends wedding and to have my kids excluded. Shows a deep lack of understanding of the meaning of family IMO

loujay · 16/05/2008 12:25

We have been invited to DH's cousins wedding, with no kids.
I find it strange as all of his family are going and there are loads of kids within the family - none of whom will be there.
We are extremely lucky that my sister is available to look after our 2 otherwise we would not be going.
I can understand it from the point of view of bride and groom - it is their day after all, just wish that the WHOLE family could enjoy it IYKWIM

posieflump · 16/05/2008 12:26

You have to respect their wishes and decide whether or not to go. They cannot moan if you can't go because you'd rather spend time with your kids. Don't feel guilty if you decide not to go.

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/05/2008 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bran · 16/05/2008 12:28

I hate going to weddings and look for any excuse to get out of them, so a child-free wedding would be like a get out of jail free card for me. Unfortunately all the invites I've had have been kids-included ones.

If I were you I would pick one wedding that you think will be the most fun and go to that, and send your excuses to the other two.

Original poster
cathers · 16/05/2008 12:29

I have said no to one, but the other 2 - one was my bridesmaid and one my DP groomsman.
Right royal pain in the ass, would love to see it but soooo difficult practically and find it very different to my views of wedding and families coming together. I guess both of the couples have no kids, career minded and just don't value same sorts of things!

OP posts:
MrsBoo · 16/05/2008 12:30

I think the adult only weddings are so formal and boring. But then I think most weddings are now way over the top, and overplanned that they have become a staged day/night out. Can't think of a less exciting way of spending a day.

micegg · 16/05/2008 12:30

Agree with PF. We had a wedding invite where children are invited but are not allowed to be seated during the meal. They are being offered an alternative of a kids meal in another room.Given my DCs are only 2 yrs and the other is 2 months I dont think this would work so have said we can't go. If the DCs were older it would ahve been fine. We had another wedding where no kids were invited and we didnt go as the cost of just neing a guest plus the hassle of findig someone to look after the kids wasn't viable for us.

belgo · 16/05/2008 12:31

I just wouldn't go, and be pleased about saving the cost of a present/travel etc.

katierocket · 16/05/2008 12:31

and why do they even bother putting "unfortunately", if they're going to ban children why don't they the balls to say it like it is.

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/05/2008 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/05/2008 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katierocket · 16/05/2008 12:33

micegg - "We had a wedding invite where children are invited but are not allowed to be seated during the meal. They are being offered an alternative of a kids meal in another room."
I am completely taken aback by that. How horrible. "OK darhling, we'll allow children but I don't want the little buggers making a mess during dinner, they must be isolated from the main diners."

Sanctuary · 16/05/2008 12:34

Agree with posieflump

TheProvincialLady · 16/05/2008 12:34

micegg a kids meal in another room? Where do people get these ideas? I might suddenly take against old people and at our next christening make them sit in the toilets in case one of their hearing aids whistles.

OrmIrian · 16/05/2008 12:35

I don't like it either. But I can see that it might be a cost thing. You have 100 friends and family to invite - half of them have more than one DC, makes it a lot more expensive. But the only real excuse I can think of.

It does seem to be more common these days.

belgo · 16/05/2008 12:35

lol provinciallady - that just about sums it up.

TheProvincialLady · 16/05/2008 12:36

It is more expensive but don't have as many guests if you can't afford to feed everyone and maintain common decency IMO.

Original poster
cathers · 16/05/2008 12:38

LOL at seperate dining room for a 2month old! Do they get a wine list?!

Just phoned one of the brides to apologise for not being able to make it - now DS IS invited after she asked why we couldn't attend. Now feel really guilty about whole thing!

One wedding excused
One wedding now have to go to with v.large gift
One to go.

OP posts:
peanutbear · 16/05/2008 12:38

I must be the only person on MN who never takes the children to a wedding because I want to have a great time with out looking after them

and must have the only children who would rather eat their own arms than go to someones wedding !!!

expatinscotland · 16/05/2008 12:39

I don't have a problem with people stipulating no children at their wedding.

It's their wedding.

But that doesn't mean you have to go.

expatinscotland · 16/05/2008 12:39

I don't have a problem with people stipulating no children at their wedding.

It's their wedding.

But that doesn't mean you have to go.

EffiePerine · 16/05/2008 12:40

Their wedding, their choice. If you're offended don't go

I think we're getting to the stage where if you invite everyone's children it becomes MASSIVE. Which isn't a problem for some people but is for many.

Haylstones · 16/05/2008 12:41

I actually like the idea of a separate room for the children. My friend did this last year and employed somebody to look after them during the meal. Meant that kids didn't get bored, parents got some peace to enjoy a lovely meal and friend had more space to invite extra adults. My dd wandered backwards and forwards and it wasn't an issue.
We were invited to a wedding recently when ds was 4 weeks old and I had to leave afterbthe ceremony because he wasn't allowed to come and I was breastfeeding- venue was 1 hour from home. That was fun

jesuswhatnext · 16/05/2008 12:41

i just would'nt go! dhs bestman and his dw always treated our dd like an extention of their family, we now treat their lo in the same way, i'm with mmj - i always thought that marriage was celebrating the coming together of 2 families and also friends, i think it most odd when children are excluded.