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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Woman and DH messaging nearly everyday

509 replies

Beachybabe · 14/04/2025 20:43

Married 15 years, 2dc. All been pretty good between us. But, Dh recently became friends with one of his colleagues and now she messages him nearly every day. I’m ok with the occasional message but she’ll send him photos of her dinner, where she is that day and other messages. Don’t seem flirty but this feels way too intense. She’s single/younger than him. Both teachers so when it’s the school holidays her contacting him ramps up to this almost daily level.
He says nothing wrong with it and to stop being weird but I think its a bit concerning. Why does she want to share so much with him and why does he keep it going by replying to her messages? Help!

OP posts:
PopcornKitten · 06/05/2025 08:05

Beachybabe · 06/05/2025 06:20

Had big talk and it sorta cleared the fog. IYKWIM. Dh saying sorry he regretted treating me this way and wants to start again. Got first counselling date tomorrow, hoping will improve things. But will see.

This is positive news OP. I hope you are both able to move forward from this. It sounds like he has accepted that his behaviour fell short of expectations if he is engaging in counselling.

Missj25 · 06/05/2025 08:48

Beachybabe · 06/05/2025 06:20

Had big talk and it sorta cleared the fog. IYKWIM. Dh saying sorry he regretted treating me this way and wants to start again. Got first counselling date tomorrow, hoping will improve things. But will see.

I hope everything works out for you OP ..
Best of luck 🤞 X

SpainToday · 06/05/2025 09:44

Beachybabe · 06/05/2025 06:20

Had big talk and it sorta cleared the fog. IYKWIM. Dh saying sorry he regretted treating me this way and wants to start again. Got first counselling date tomorrow, hoping will improve things. But will see.

Hopefully he has ended this 'friendship'?

Vplop · 24/05/2025 13:39

Yep. A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.

^This made me laugh so hard l, especially cos it’s so true 😂😂

SpryCat · 24/05/2025 17:59

Maryrose80 · 17/04/2025 06:58

OP my heart goes out to you. Without going on about me I'm going through exactly the same with DH work colleague and way over the top interactions, and ive been told its me i have a problem im jealous. have been following all the good replies and planning and considering ending. It's not easy though. I hope you are OK. xx

Gaslighting, he’s turning it around on you, saying you’re paranoid, when in fact it’s his behaviour with another woman.

SpryCat · 24/05/2025 18:16

Montea · 15/04/2025 13:13

Jesus Christ
He is about 35 and I am 19 years old

In his head, he is 19 and an Italian stallion, you texting him makes him think you find him irresistible. Even the Elephant man probably thought he was a stud when he looked in the mirror!

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 01/08/2025 07:04

Dressinggown08 · 14/04/2025 21:29

My DP did this with a female friend from work. We are now separated and they are together. It's definitely emotional affair territory.

same.

DangerousAlchemy · 01/08/2025 15:26

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 01/08/2025 07:04

same.

Urrgh that's rubbish. Sorry this happened to you 💐

Totemoneru · 02/08/2025 18:15

Beachybabe · 14/04/2025 21:58

I think she’s out of order and disrespectful but if I speak about it I get shut down and then we end up rowing with me in the wrong.
He said she’s having a hard time and he’s being a mate and that’s all.

Edited

So the feelings of his wife mean less than the feelings of a coworker?
If this is causing you upset then he should be listening to your concerns. Brushing you off as the problem is a red flag here.

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