Glam & Fab Part 5 - Summer Loving

[macdoodle]

Gosh time for a new thread already
I'm up for a half term meet - tis the week of the bank hol here 26 May - I will be with sis in Hitchin prob from Sun 25 May most of that week so up for London or roundabout meetup

Baffy i am so proud that you made that decision based on you and ds and not a reaction to something else he did, well done you
Thank god she isn't bringing a poor lo into this world to have to share their car crash of a life.

Thread on FB about poss meetup next week in/around London - Sun/Wed best for me but pretty flexible anyone about??

Thanks everyone

Good to hear from you WW - thank you. I do feel in control of the situation, finally, which is a relief. Although being in control of the situation doesn't mean I'm in control of my feelings, iyswim!

I dropped ds to him this morning and he has a massive cut and bruise on his head. Turns out he was out last night with some of the girls he works with, was messing about with them giving piggy backs etc, was drunk and tripped over and banged his head.

He's certainly not sitting in moping is he! I really won't be getting a second thought and I know that. It's too painful for him to think about what's really going on.

I can only hope that one day he will realise just what he's done and just what he's lost. But I am certain that that day will not come for a long time. He is just not capable of seeing reality at the moment or living in the world I live in.

His ability to put the different aspects of his life into different compartments astounds me. Truly.

And thanks lily, yes it's strange that the first sign of 'good' news I got, I decided to walk away. I wasn't forced into the decision or doing it in any way to 'get them back'.
The sheer relief of not having to deal with them having a baby made me realise that being part of their messed up world is taking it's toll on me too much. Both physically and mentally. I need to start eating and sleeping again. And that's not going to happen while I'm living in this state of limbo allowing him to hurt me more and more by the day.

I'm going out tonight straight from work. Ds is staying with grandparents. And I intend to have a ball!!
(If I can last beyond a few drinks that is!!)

Macd I would have loved to come to a meet up and am so that you guys might be meeting... if there was any way I could get out of work next week and come down there I would.
(In fact I may just pack a bag and do it!!)

TFM I hope it goes well today. My phone has died so I can't text But I am thinking of you xx

Thank you Baffy

Well, I went for my appointment, got felt by two doctors (ladies!) who then arranged a mammogram, an ultrasound and a biopsy, all to be done today.

Went for the mammogram which was quite an experience! Was then told that there were no appointments available for the ultrasound today so I have to go back on Tuesday for that. Following that the doctor in the breast clinic has arranged for me to have the biopsy next Friday so, I'm still no wiser! She did tell me not to worry though so I'm not doing.

So, I'm nursing a rather sore chest where the xray plates scraped before the squished and squashed my boobies. I would never have guessed they could be made so flat! And it was so tight too, the minute the xray was taken the plates released and I nearly pinged half way across the room!

Anyway, thats an update on me. I hope everyone else is ok. Have a lovely bank holiday weekend xxx

TFM jst pooping in before bed (first chance today) but i had to find out how you got on. Sorry you haven't had the results yet. It doesn't seem fair to make you wait even longer , i won't be around next week so good luck and fingrs crossed everything is ok!

Baffy hope you having a ball and are too pissed happy to give them a second thought!

Ladies if i don't get on tom i am on hol for two weeks so take care all and i will need a willing volunteer to do me a round up in two weeks

TFM i am not pooping popping in

Hello ladies. Was invited by lilyloo. I have spoken to some of you on other threads and you were very supportive to me when I discovered my dh's infidelities 3 months ago. Hope you don't mind me joining.

For those of you who don't know me, my story is this:

Dh had a physical relationship (not emotional) with a colleague for 1 year.
He joined dating sites but didn't meet up with anyone - used it for computer flirting.
Set up new email accounts.
Looked at copious pornographic images on pc

Incredible as it sounds, I am trying to get over this stuff as we have been together for 18 years and always had a good relationship. We've been for couple counselling and he is going to continue going on his own. Over the past two years he became secretive and detached. He needs to find out why that happened so that he can assure me it will not happen again. But it is so hard to get over. We've got a ds almost 4 and prior to my discovery were trying for another (had 3 m/c during past 2 years).

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Thanks Dior - and glad your mum has 10 year all clear

TFM - good luck with results (fingers crossed)

Lilyloo - have a lovely holiday

LL - Welcome
Sorry it's so quiet on here at the moment - but I will catch up properly with you as soon as possible. Hope you're enjoying the Bank Holiday weekend.

TFM I'm glad you're ok. Nightmare that you have to wait until next wee though
Hope you have a lovely weekend and manage to put the thoughts to the back of your mind for now.

Lily enjoy your holiday xx

Hi everyone

Just popping in to say 'Hi' and wish you all a lovely bank holiday weekend. Thank you for your good wishes too. I'm refusing to worry about it, worrying won't change anything will it so I'm not going to let it spoil things for me.

Welcome LL. We will sort you out

Have a lovely holiday Lily

Love to everyone else xxx

Thanks baffy and tfm I'm off to the gym then shopping. Need some summer clothes

I've put my sandals away and got my boots back out!

Fools, this is the UK, we don't do summer.

in an act of defiance (with some delusional ideas thrown in) I bought a pair of white trousers

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Oh dear Dior I don't know the hx between the two of you (will have to do some research) but sorry you feel sad and confused as to what to do. Oh and sorry about the weather. I take full responsibility

Oh Dior

I hope you feel a bit better soon, You really have given it a good shot though havent you,
Are you ok with it being half term? - i am quite busy but if you need me give me a call.

Oh Dior

I'm sorry about the circumstances, but I do have to say that I'm so glad you managed to tell him how you're feeling. Even if it wasn't perhaps how you'd have wanted to get it all out. IMHO I think it's all needed to be said for a while. He did stop trying. And he does make you feel small. And he needs to know all that and do something about it before he loses you forever.

How are things today?

xx

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Things won't miraculously change because you're thinner I know you know that. I just wish he would face up to it.
I have no idea what must go on in his head I really don't.

And how he can think that he can treat you like this, and then you lose a bit of weight and will suddenly forget it all and jump into bed with him!
I know you love him and you're trying to work through it. But there's a limit to how much we can all take. I hope he doesn't push it to the point where you decide to walk away for good as you can no longer respect him. Try to keep talking if you can. As hard as it is, I think that he needs to hear it and start dealing with it.

I'm doing ok at the moment. Am really doing my very best to have absolutely minimal contact with H except for about ds.

It's hard. Plus we had tickets to see a band this week and he wants me to go.
But it's with mates that only a few months ago, he took OW to meet!! They did used to me great friends of mine too. But they were out with him and her! So how much of an arse would I feel now going out with them! How he thinks I can just pretend nothing has happened is beyond me.
(Probably because in the past I would have!)

But not this time!

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Thanks Dior

The encouragement really helps as it's so hard at times. Now I've made the decision though, and finally made the break and sent the papers off, I'd be stupid to cave in now! He chose her. He thought he chose the better option. He had his chances with me and time and time again he chose her. So now he has to live with it.
I'm sure in the long run it won't be me who's the unhappy one full of regrets!