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Original poster

Went on a nice date today that ended a bit awkwardly and now I'm really sad!

159 replies

anonymous98 · 06/04/2025 22:16

Full disclosure, I have not great mental health, including diagnosed severe anxiety and depression. I also get horribly emotional before my period, which is due in a few days.

Anyway.

I matched with someone online, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet up. I've only had a few online dates, which were generally mutually excruciating and we had absolutely nothing to say to each other, so I was quite pleasantly surprised when he a.) showed up on time b.) was actually gorgeous and c.) was really nice. We had a great chat, seemed to get on really well, and agreed to go from a cafe to a local park and then a museum. Unfortunately, my feet were killing me and I had to sit down and rest and I think he interpreted that as me having had enough, so walked me to my bus stop, waited with me and then said "I'll see you sometime", which I interpreted as I am probably never going to see you again. And got on the bus feeling really deflated. And I haven't heard from him since then. And I'm so sad. I have no idea why I'm so sad. I just feel like I can't cope. I don't want to be desperate and message. I feel so stupid and upset and confused.

OP posts:
shrunkenhead · 07/04/2025 04:53

Has he replied yet? I think it's really rude if he ignores you. I've had dates where I've not been sure if they've wanted to meet again or not. And some people are hard to read.
I was surprised with the latest guy I'm seeing as really didn't get that he liked me but he texted back that he was up for another date.
Like you my MH isn't great either and I question whether I should be putting myself out there. Rejection is horrible fir anyone and even worse when you're already not in a good place.

Gettoachiro · 07/04/2025 04:58

You have done the right thing in messaging. If he replies in the negative at least you had a nice date, if he replies positively then great stuff, if he doesn't reply then you know he isn't worth even thinking about.

GeorgeMichaelsMicStand · 07/04/2025 05:23

I’m sorry but I think if he felt there was a connection he would have pursued it. It’s no reflection on you, not everyone can be a match for us no matter how much we think we ‘clicked’ . If it was me, I’d write it off, forget about ‘why’ it didn’t work out and start again.

LAMPS1 · 07/04/2025 06:38

I’d put it all down to experience OP. You had a lovely time chatting quite naturally with him so in fact that’s a win. And spent time in a park and in a museum, so an interesting date all in all. Non-threatening, nothing awkward, just a nice pleasant time. Exactly what you are looking for, even if you don’t see him again.
The reason you are feeling so sad is that you know that a first on-line date is a bit of a judgement meeting and being a little unsure of yourself, you feel judged and rejected. All very normal. Maybe he does too, not every bloke is looking for a confident, full on date… who knows.
You did so well today so it’s a shame to let the negative thoughts take over.
Keep going OP and keep smiling. You were brave to go on the date in the first place. It’s very daunting for everybody. Wishing you nothing but the best. I hope you meet a keeper.

Changedusernameforthis2 · 07/04/2025 06:38

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/04/2025 23:48

Did you use your words and explain that your feet were hurting and why ?

did you suggest you just needed a quick rest then you could continue with wherever you were i.e. still in the museum ?
or did you say you were so tired out that you would now need to go home and couldn't continue with the date ?

maybe in hindsight a cafe then a park then a museum is too much for you on a first date.

why did it end up him suddenly walking you to your bus stop ?

However ' And I'm so sad. I have no idea why I'm so sad. I just feel like I can't cope. I don't want to be desperate and message. I feel so stupid and upset and confused.'

4 mins after you had posted that, having had two replies on your thread, you messaged him.

The Daily Mail won't pick up on this, it's not interesting / dramatic enough.

You say you have had help with your illness, and are on medication - I think you ought to go back to your GP and see if the level of medication is sufficient / started working yet.

Ugh fuck off with the "did you use your words" patronising shit

Ohbellayoubigtwat · 07/04/2025 07:18

Changedusernameforthis2 · 07/04/2025 06:38

Ugh fuck off with the "did you use your words" patronising shit

Show quote history

I know, right, she’s not 3.

She can’t turn back time either and it’s no one’s business what she’s doing for her mental health.

MyOtherProfile · 07/04/2025 07:37

Hwi · 07/04/2025 00:36

Dodged the bullet? How?

Show quote history

Because they were getting along well, then she needed to sit because of her feet and he switched to getting her along to the bus and a vague "I'll see you sometime". It doesn't make him look good.

Chunkilumptious · 07/04/2025 07:47

MyOtherProfile · 07/04/2025 07:37

Because they were getting along well, then she needed to sit because of her feet and he switched to getting her along to the bus and a vague "I'll see you sometime". It doesn't make him look good.

Show quote history

Probably a misunderstanding or nerves on his part. No need to assume the worst.

Whatever the response, the known outcome is a nice date which is a good thing. You can take that experience forward

TheseCalmSeas · 07/04/2025 07:53

Sounds like a lovely date & perhaps more won’t come of it. I also think that’s OK because it doesn’t sound like now is the right time for you to be dating.

Focus on yourself at the moment. Dating can wait.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 07/04/2025 07:54

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/04/2025 23:48

Did you use your words and explain that your feet were hurting and why ?

did you suggest you just needed a quick rest then you could continue with wherever you were i.e. still in the museum ?
or did you say you were so tired out that you would now need to go home and couldn't continue with the date ?

maybe in hindsight a cafe then a park then a museum is too much for you on a first date.

why did it end up him suddenly walking you to your bus stop ?

However ' And I'm so sad. I have no idea why I'm so sad. I just feel like I can't cope. I don't want to be desperate and message. I feel so stupid and upset and confused.'

4 mins after you had posted that, having had two replies on your thread, you messaged him.

The Daily Mail won't pick up on this, it's not interesting / dramatic enough.

You say you have had help with your illness, and are on medication - I think you ought to go back to your GP and see if the level of medication is sufficient / started working yet.

And l think you ought to have read the OP with a bit more compassion and understanding before replying in such a snotty and patronising way.

Trendyname · 07/04/2025 08:01

AlwaysTheRenegade · 07/04/2025 00:23

Your mental health and pmt sounds awful. (I'm very similar, medicated, different therapies, doing all the right things basically)

But from what you've written, he seems awkward aswell. Not really taking the lead.

You said the phone conversations were excruciating, that's fine, probably normal if you're both shy? But, you're opening yourself up to meeting new people and that's so hard. Completely different to having a phone call at home!

The main thing that stuck out to me is that you were surprised he turned up! He's lucky you showed up. Keep this confidence to go on loads of dates until you meet someone! Cheering you on xx

According to the first post, she was surprised he turned up on time, not surprised about turning up itself.

TruthOrNo · 07/04/2025 08:01

anonymous98 · 06/04/2025 22:31

To be honest, I'm scared the Daily Mail will pick it up. That's probably a stupid thing to worry about.

I don't think it's interesting enough for that

misssunshine4040 · 07/04/2025 08:08

Op I think you are not in the right place to date yet.

Dating is full of rejection and mind games that can affect you badly if you are not in the right place to handle it.
Please look after your health first

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 08:10

Any decent man would text you to make sure you got home OK.

Pipsquiggle · 07/04/2025 08:19

@anonymous98 be kind to yourself.

Sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment so just going out on a date is a big achievement.

Please work on yourself. I found CBT very useful for my anxiety

truecrimelover · 07/04/2025 08:20

Did you get a response to your message OP? Hope you're feeling better this morning

WhyCantIGetItTogether · 07/04/2025 08:20

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 07/04/2025 07:54

And l think you ought to have read the OP with a bit more compassion and understanding before replying in such a snotty and patronising way.

Show quote history

Thank you, Lovelysausagedogscrumpy. 👏👏

SpainToday · 07/04/2025 08:30

Hoping you get a response!

Fillybustering · 07/04/2025 08:54

Hi op do you live in London or a big city? I found dating so much easier in a smaller place. When I lived in a very big city i felt that there was so much choice for young men that they didn't want to settle down really or start anything everything was in the now and for fun. It led to several years of disappointment and wondering what was wrong with me and also meeting people I turned down too of course. When I was a little older moved to a smaller place it happened so quickly I didn't think that was a coincidence. Lots of people are vulnerable when single and find rejection hard it's not just uou and I'm sure you are fine as you are don't be hard on yourself. I've been there and it socks!

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 08:55

I wouldn’t want a response after he’s made no effort to contact you. You shouldn’t have to chase for a message after a first date.

Men don’t hold back when they are interested.

Pippinsdiary · 07/04/2025 08:55

I really hope he replies for you. You have to consider he might be sat at home feeling really awkward at saying “see you sometime” and is wondering if you wanted to cut the date short because you weren’t enjoying it.

if he doesn’t reply then you have dodged a bullet. He could at least have the courtesy to not ghost you

Fillybustering · 07/04/2025 08:55

*sucks not socks! Lols

Chunkilumptious · 07/04/2025 08:56

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 08:10

Any decent man would text you to make sure you got home OK.

Not really a thing in OLD unless a conversation continuer. He most likely won't have her address so what does he do if she doesn't reply?

stealthninjamum · 07/04/2025 08:58

Op. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I wanted to send you hugs as I’m not good at giving advice. 🤗

Chunkilumptious · 07/04/2025 08:59

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 08:55

I wouldn’t want a response after he’s made no effort to contact you. You shouldn’t have to chase for a message after a first date.

Men don’t hold back when they are interested.

And he may have read her behaviour as awkward or disinterested. With kindness to the OP, she does sound as though she is just finding her social ease with dating.

If in doubt, it's absolutely fine to follow up. There is nothing to lose and that isn't chasing.