Went on a nice date today that ended a bit awkwardly and now I'm really sad!

[anonymous98]

Full disclosure, I have not great mental health, including diagnosed severe anxiety and depression. I also get horribly emotional before my period, which is due in a few days.

Anyway.

I matched with someone online, chatted on the phone, agreed to meet up. I've only had a few online dates, which were generally mutually excruciating and we had absolutely nothing to say to each other, so I was quite pleasantly surprised when he a.) showed up on time b.) was actually gorgeous and c.) was really nice. We had a great chat, seemed to get on really well, and agreed to go from a cafe to a local park and then a museum. Unfortunately, my feet were killing me and I had to sit down and rest and I think he interpreted that as me having had enough, so walked me to my bus stop, waited with me and then said "I'll see you sometime", which I interpreted as I am probably never going to see you again. And got on the bus feeling really deflated. And I haven't heard from him since then. And I'm so sad. I have no idea why I'm so sad. I just feel like I can't cope. I don't want to be desperate and message. I feel so stupid and upset and confused.

To be fair. I don’t think it’s exciting enough for the DM to pick up, don’t worry! And its not exactly massively outing. I’m sure loads of women have been on dates and got sore feet this week.

Hope he replies and you get another nice date. If not then onwards and upwards.

Well worst case he reads it and knows you liked the date!

That would be romantic if he liked it too!

And if he didn’t, you’ve not disgraced yourself, just shown you were more generous in your assessment than he is. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.

I understand the toll that MH struggles can take op, but it’s good to put yourself in situations where you are a bit vulnerable without any real consequences. You’ve done that. You’ve messaged back to open up dialogue and that’s a really important step in not closing in on yourself and making your world smaller. I hope he comes back with something friendly but if not - well, none of us win ‘em all.

Op well done for texting him, that would have been my advice too.

What shoes were you wearing?

Flats but I hadn't broken them in

Start a new thread in mental health. You can get really good advice over there. Good luck x

Good luck OP. I remember that deflated feeling and I hope you feel better after a good sleep as things can look different in the morning. Hopefully he will read your text and understand the situation.

Has he responded to your message yet, op?

And please don’t take the thread down yet. I am invested now.

I know he's not going to respond.

And I'm really sad.

You don't know he's not going to respond. You are projecting that.
It's 23:10 on a Sunday night. He's probably got work in the morning and isn't looking at his phone.
Hang in there!

He might respond. If he doesn't then you have dodged a bullet.

I think you have to let 48 hours pass before you conclude he isn't going to respond. Your countdown has only just started!

A slight communication issue / misunderstanding won’t make the national press. I do think you might be too delicate to be dating though.

Hope he answers op

It does sound like you are in a very emotionally vulnerable place to be dating.
Your thought processes tend to be all screwed up when you’ve got low mood and anxiety. What happened is disappointing but you didn’t do anything wrong. Try to distract yourself to avoid ruminating and the feelings will pass.

I think he will answer back. I'm getting Jude Law and Cameron Diaz vibes from this!

Agree!

Hope you at least get an answer OP. Sounds like a lovely day. Don’t be too hard on yourself 💐

Don't worry or overthink. You've done the right thing in texting. Hopefully he is receptive and just misread signals too hence the awkward exit. He may not get back tonight or first thing but will hopefully be in touch I. The next day or so. If notz,so what? You gave it a go and didn't leave things wondering what might have been. That's great.

I don’t really understand what happened. Would you mind talking us through it, please? As in, what was the sequence of events and what was actually said?

As it doesn’t really make sense that you going ‘my feet hurt, do you mind if we sit for a bit?’ would lead to him walking you to the bus stop.

Hey @anonymous98. Just wanted to let you know that however bad you’re feeling right now, things are going to be ok.

You've only just messaged, give it time. The fact the date went on as long as it did shows he did enjoy your company. Worse case scenario is he isn't romantically interested but at least you know it is possible to meet someone and enjoy their company. Fingers crossed he replies.

I honestly do not think you should be dating right now. What help arr you getting for your anxiety? You seem very vulnerable.

I've had a lot of help. I am on medication. To be honest, I just find life very hard.

You need to stop overthinking for a start.

Unfortunately, my feet were killing me and I had to sit down and rest and I think he interpreted that as me having had enough, so walked me to my bus stop, waited with me and then said "I'll see you sometime", which I interpreted as I am probably never going to see you again

You say you think he interpreted you sitting down as you having had enough. Then you say you interpreted him saying "I'll see you sometime" as never again.
You don't know what he was thinking when he said that and you also don't know what he really thought when you sat down. Too much interpretation going on here for a first date.

How did the conversation go when you sat down? Did you say your feet were killing you because of your shoes and then what did he say?
It just seems a bit weird. You sat down. Next thing he's escorting you to your bus stop.