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Crushing so badly on my sons primary school teacher.

398 replies

93Queen · 30/03/2025 08:35

Ok so before anyone jumps on me for this, I KNOW how wrong and inappropriate this is. My son started in his class in September and from the moment I first clapped eyes on this man, I couldn’t help but find him extremely attractive. I’m not with anyone by the way and haven’t been for a few years now. Just recently, I think I’m seeing things that just aren’t there and it won’t go away. We had a meeting in school recently, and I’m not joking when I say the chemistry is real! For me obviously, not him. It’s all one sided. Anyway, as I walked to the school, my heart was racing and I’ve never felt ‘butterflies’ as bad as that before. As I waited in the reception area of the school, I could see him staring at me through the glass whilst he was quickly getting himself a drink. I also saw him give me a quick stare as he walked into the office. As I said, I know this is wrong but I can’t help the way this man makes me feel. I’m not sure if he’s in a relationship, all I know is, he’s the same age as me but doesn’t yet have any children. How do I stop this ridiculous behaviour of mine? It’s an embarrassment feeling this way in my 30s! He has also invited me in for an additional parents evening, that was just before Christmas, but again, I know all of these things are just him being nice and a lovely teacher. Even if he did find me attractive, how would I know? Is there any body language or anything I can look out for? Reason I ask is I’m pretty sure there’s another parents evening coming up soon, and I just wondered how he would act whilst siting directly opposite me if he was to find me attractive too. Thank you for reading if you got to the end and sorry for rambling on.

OP posts:
93Queen · 30/03/2025 22:54

SCWS · 30/03/2025 22:52

I had to read the post twice because I was shocked you would post that on here. Trust me, I read it. I’m surprised it wasn’t reported.

It’s only your later comments that backtrack on it.

Nothing was ‘backtracked’. Anyone who’s read it can clearly see I said that’s how I was made to feel. No where did I say that’s what single mums are. It was about me and only me and everyone can see that.

OP posts:
NormasArse · 30/03/2025 22:58

Papercup · 30/03/2025 11:05

I agree with another PP, strong chemistry is rarely one-sided. But it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s single. You need to find out if he’s single then make your move if he is.

Can you make friends with the school receptionist or anything? Our primary school receptionists knew everything about everything. They were the first people I went to to find out anything I wanted to know in the school. I would have totally been able to ask one of them if the dishy year 1 teacher was single.

Or maybe you could join the PTA? PTA people know everything and have a lot of interaction with the staff organising summer fairs etc. Actually, thinking about it, the summer fair (if your school has one) would be the perfect opportunity for you to have a nice non-child related chit chat with him.

Strong chemistry can absolutely be one sided! There was a parent at my school who was convinced the head was in love with her because she thought she was with him.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 23:09

93Queen · 30/03/2025 22:54

Nothing was ‘backtracked’. Anyone who’s read it can clearly see I said that’s how I was made to feel. No where did I say that’s what single mums are. It was about me and only me and everyone can see that.

It's the fact you had that kind of language that easily accessible in your head. Where did it come from? You've got some serious internalised misogyny to think those things, let alone say them in a forum of mainly women.

We understand you weren't directing those names at specific women, but you were using them to talk about women in general. Do you understand why people are so disgusted?

93Queen · 30/03/2025 23:11

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 23:09

It's the fact you had that kind of language that easily accessible in your head. Where did it come from? You've got some serious internalised misogyny to think those things, let alone say them in a forum of mainly women.

We understand you weren't directing those names at specific women, but you were using them to talk about women in general. Do you understand why people are so disgusted?

But I wasn’t talking about other women, I was talking about myself and as I’ve said, that’s how I was made to feel. I certainly don’t ever go around calling anyone else names

OP posts:
Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 23:14

93Queen · 30/03/2025 23:11

But I wasn’t talking about other women, I was talking about myself and as I’ve said, that’s how I was made to feel. I certainly don’t ever go around calling anyone else names

So what made you use that specific language? Where did it come from?

For example, I would never use language like skanky or tarts or slags or anything like that, to talk about women - not women in general, not specific women, not myself.

93Queen · 30/03/2025 23:22

Bumblebeestiltskin · 30/03/2025 23:14

So what made you use that specific language? Where did it come from?

For example, I would never use language like skanky or tarts or slags or anything like that, to talk about women - not women in general, not specific women, not myself.

I don’t know tbh. It was all the comments about how ridiculous it is, comments such as oh all the other single mums probably flutter their eyelashes at him, it’s creepy, he will feel uncomfortable etc etc. I didn’t need to see that. I’m in my 30s and I don’t see anything wrong with having a crush. Not ideal in this case granted but even so, I didn’t need to be made to feel like that.

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 07:42

I’m in my 30s and I don’t see anything wrong with having a crush.

correct

but you didn’t ask if anything wrong with having a crush

you’re asking whether ok to ask if “you have any Easter plans with your missus” 😩and waxing lyrical about him staring at you in a 2 hour meeting with you (where was he supposed to look in a meeting with you?!)

You are a teacher Op? How would you respond in his shoes?

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 07:45

It’s really disturbing now I’ve read all your comments including the “skanky single mums” to think you’re teaching primary school children

westisbest1982 · 31/03/2025 08:16

Good luck with it, OP. Ignore the prudes and joyless people on here. Please let us know how you get on!

93Queen · 31/03/2025 08:39

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 07:42

I’m in my 30s and I don’t see anything wrong with having a crush.

correct

but you didn’t ask if anything wrong with having a crush

you’re asking whether ok to ask if “you have any Easter plans with your missus” 😩and waxing lyrical about him staring at you in a 2 hour meeting with you (where was he supposed to look in a meeting with you?!)

You are a teacher Op? How would you respond in his shoes?

Edited

I’m sorry but that’s not what I said at all. If that’s how I was made to feel as well, then I’ll say it how it is. I have a private life outside of my work which has nothing to do with how I am at work and how I am with my students.

OP posts:
93Queen · 31/03/2025 08:40

westisbest1982 · 31/03/2025 08:16

Good luck with it, OP. Ignore the prudes and joyless people on here. Please let us know how you get on!

Thank you🫶🏻

OP posts:
93Queen · 31/03/2025 08:40

Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 07:45

It’s really disturbing now I’ve read all your comments including the “skanky single mums” to think you’re teaching primary school children

And I’m a damn good teacher at that 👌🏻

OP posts:
Elicitcoffee · 31/03/2025 08:43

93Queen · 31/03/2025 08:40

And I’m a damn good teacher at that 👌🏻

Well let’s be honest, you’re hardly objective on that

was the 2 hour meeting about your son just you and him?

CantStopMoving · 31/03/2025 09:12

Honestly OP please ignore the people being mean. I am super invested in this now. I honestly hope he’s feeling the same as you and it is the eventual start of a relationship. It has to start somewhere. If he’s not interested then a simple no from him to go to coffee after end of term would suffice and you both move on. You only regret the things you don’t do or so the saying says and asking someone for coffee is not the most extraordinary thing in the world.

redsun246 · 31/03/2025 09:18

Chemistry can most definitely be one sided.

SCWS · 31/03/2025 09:22

CantStopMoving · 31/03/2025 09:12

Honestly OP please ignore the people being mean. I am super invested in this now. I honestly hope he’s feeling the same as you and it is the eventual start of a relationship. It has to start somewhere. If he’s not interested then a simple no from him to go to coffee after end of term would suffice and you both move on. You only regret the things you don’t do or so the saying says and asking someone for coffee is not the most extraordinary thing in the world.

Don’t be ridiculous- how can you know that? Just because he looked at her. Don’t you ever look at people without wanting to have sex with them? 😂😂

CantStopMoving · 31/03/2025 09:24

SCWS · 31/03/2025 09:22

Don’t be ridiculous- how can you know that? Just because he looked at her. Don’t you ever look at people without wanting to have sex with them? 😂😂

She just wants to ask him out for a coffee! He might say no! She likes him, she wants to ask him out. What is so utterly controversial about this? He might feel the same and say yes. Who knows? But I’m glad my DH plucked up the courage to ask me out 25 years ago as I wasn’t going to do it. I had no idea if he liked me even though I liked him!

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 31/03/2025 09:31

this thread title makes no grammatical sense!

kungfoofighting · 31/03/2025 11:14

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 31/03/2025 09:31

this thread title makes no grammatical sense!

It’s an idiomatic phrasal verb

kungfoofighting · 31/03/2025 11:19

CantStopMoving · 31/03/2025 09:12

Honestly OP please ignore the people being mean. I am super invested in this now. I honestly hope he’s feeling the same as you and it is the eventual start of a relationship. It has to start somewhere. If he’s not interested then a simple no from him to go to coffee after end of term would suffice and you both move on. You only regret the things you don’t do or so the saying says and asking someone for coffee is not the most extraordinary thing in the world.

It is weird how scathing and derisive some of the posts are. OP fancies someone. Ooh how inappropriate 🙊😂

InMyMNEra · 31/03/2025 11:31

I think you’ve had a hard time on this thread. There is nothing worse than an intense crush.

But having said that, I would just enjoy it as a little crush, and know that it will pass

The teachers I know (I work in education) have a policy of not accepting or interacting with parents on social media. I’d imagine that that also goes for dating them

StrawberryDream24 · 31/03/2025 13:13

You don't know if he's single.

The majority of people are not, after their 20s.

He went through a female dominated course. He works in a female dominated profession. Even outside the school, any courses/training etc he does will be female dominated.

He's attractive, has a good job, and a job that is particularly attractive to women in a man (good with kids).

The chances of him being single are low.

That's if he's even definitely heterosexual, which you don't know for certain.
(And I wouldn't ask directly about a missus/gf - in case it could be represented as fishing about his sexuality).

You also don't know if he'd want to dare someone with two kids when he had no kids of his own. Lots of people (even more so men ime) don't want to.

(He, more than most people, wool be aware of the challenges and issues and complications children present as they go through childhood etc.)

You also don't know if he'd specifically want to date your child's mother. He knows your son quite well already (compared to a relative stranger thinking of dating you) and is aware of any issues, and might - without disliking him in any way, - not want to become an eventual stepfather to him.
At the very least he may not want to contribute to instability in his life if it weren't to work out. He may feel more responsible on that front than a stranger.

All this is totally irrelevant until you establish if he's single.

Even if he is, he may not want to muddy the waters at school by dating a pupils parent, even after he's taught them.

Or he may not see a single Mum as serious relationship material and may only consider a fling, or not want to get involved because he knows it would only be a fling.

You really sound like you need to set up a sitter and get out more dating and socially wise.

StrawberryDream24 · 31/03/2025 13:35

Theycallmemama · 30/03/2025 14:24

Put your number in your sons school bag or school book if he checks it and write something like ‘are you single if so here’s my number’ but only if you can face the embarrassment if you don’t hear nothing 🫣 good luck haha. X

If she did that, every teaching assistant and then member of staff in the school would end up thinking she is the "skanky single mother" and "tart" the op thinks posters are accusing her of being.

It is utterly utterly inappropriate.

StrawberryDream24 · 31/03/2025 13:39

93Queen · 30/03/2025 09:58

He wouldn’t even realise, he’s 6 with no understanding and he’s wayyyy behind other children so he wouldn’t have any idea

You have a weird way of talking about children for a special needs teacher.

It's also odd that you're a graduate but apparently don't know that nowhere is not two separate words.

StrawberryDream24 · 31/03/2025 13:44

Also "I have a respectable job" ..... I think we realise now in society (hopefully!) that having a certain job or position doesn't guarantee anything.

If seems like every year, some female secondary teacher is prosecuted for having sex with a student .... So I don't why anyone would automatically assume "teacher = respectable, high integrity, well adjusted person".

People who do teaching degrees, or law degrees or whatever ...are just humans too. Of all types.

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