How often do you message married men?

[MystyLuna]

I am just wondering how often women send messages to married men?
Numerous women have added my husband on social media and I personally find it a bit strange how many messages they send.
These are women he isn't friends with.
He will met them by chance somewhere.
For example, he will fix a mates car and when he was there a woman (friend or relatives of said mate) will be there.
Later that woman will add my husband on social media and then start sending him loads of messages.
I have seen messages first thing in the morning which say "morning how are you?"
So nothing really wrong with the actual message but I just find it bizarre.
If I happened to meet someone by chance for a couple of minutes, I wouldn't instantly add them on social media and then message them every day, especially if they were married.
To me it just seems like a bizarre thing to do to start sending a married man daily messages.
If it was just one woman I probably wouldn't mention it, but it has been numerous women.
I know for certain that nothing has happened with any of these women and my husband can be a bit of a chatter box.
Especially when it comes to cars.
If someone asks him a car related question he can talk for hours (regardless of whether he is talking to a man or a woman).
My husband is too nice. If someone texts him, he will text back because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I have told him that he is replying to much and it could lead to someone getting the wrong idea so why risk it.
I personally would never text a married man to ask "Hi what are you up to today" because it is none of my business and I just think it is strange.
Especially when it is someone I have met once for 5 minutes.
Maybe I am out of touch? Is this something people do?
I am currently sat in the bathroom typing this while my husband is downstairs messaging a woman he has met maybe once or twice who has just broken up with her boyfriend.
Another example. One of my neighbours has a daughter who needed a new car but didn't have any money because she was escaping an abusive relationship.
We didn't know the daughter but we friends with the mother.
At the time we had a car that we were getting rid of.
Me being an idiot, said the daughter could have the car and she could just pay for it once she got on her feet.
The daughter came to look at the car but didn't take it because the insurance was too much.
Next thing I know, she has added my husband on WhatsApp and messages him regularly.
Again husband not interested in her but always messages back to be nice.
Another example, my husband plays a playstation game with a mate that lives 3 hours away.
About 18 months ago this mate asked if a woman he knew could also play with them.
That woman then added my husband on Facebook (hadn't met her at the time) and started sending dozens of messages every day.
Is this something I should let go or am I right and it is strange?

In my experience, those kind of 'Good morning' messages between two people who aren't in a relationship or hoping to be in one, are rarely innocent.

It’s strange . Would piss me right off.
Cynically, I honestly wouldn’t believe the women would be always adding him to social media and he’s simply ‘too nice’. Is he extremely good looking or wildly rich?

Its strange enough that it won’t be happening fo no reason.

I never message married men online except one colleague and we message about once a year when one of us sees something the other might be interested in eg sport . Then no message for months on end. I have another married colleague and l literally never message him.
My dh never messages married women either.Your dh is being very naive.

I don’t think I’ve ever randomly added a married man or messaged them.
The only time I could see myself doing this is if I was single and interested in pursuing a relationship and the man had told me he was also single and interested in me…

I have NEVER done this and never would, and neither would my husband. “Good morning/ wyd today?” messages are what people looking to date send eg on Tinder. It’s a big coincidence this happens so often to your dh, isn’t it?

You have a DH problem, as the old Mumsnet saying goes. HE is the one allowing these women to keep contacting him, and accepting him on WhatsApp, and social media etc

These women owe you nothing. Your DH is the problem here. He is enjoying the attention from these women.

Yes I'm sure he's totally innocent and doe eyed!

It is odd and not something I’d do. But i would also expect my husband not to keep messaging them back - it gives off the wrong impression and potentially leads them on.

A lot of the times I have seen the friends request from the other person, so I know it is them doing the adding.
Out of the two of us he is definitely the more attractive person.
No he isn't rich. We have a disabled child so one of us has to be his full time carer.
So I work full time (because I can earn the most money) and my husband is a stay at home dad.
So he has a lot of free time during the day when out son is at school.

No, I don’t think you’re out of touch.

I opened the thread wondering if it was going to be someone overly paranoid about genuinely innocent messages (eg I messaged a married man the other day, but it was to confirm something to do with us having his son, my DD’s best friend, over for a few hours. His wife was away for work so no point messaging her to say what time I’d drop him back).

But a random man you’ve met once for a few minutes and are then texting good morning to, or messaging about your break up? No, that’s weird, and not someone who just wants to be friends. It sounds like it’s happening a lot for your husband to be totally innocent - it sounds like at the very least he definitely appreciates the ego boost!

He is being disrespectful of you and your marriage. He needs to block all these women and not accept any new requests. Honestly it sounds pretty dodgy. I can't imagine many women messaging a bloke they don't know for no reason.

This is very strange ,especially the Good morning messages.

I think you should focus on why your husband is accepting the requests. He is the one who shouldn’t be messaging other women, he’s the married one.

This is a strange thread. I message friends and family fairly frequently. I wouldn’t do it any less if they were married. I doubt all these women are trying to get with your dh.

It would never occur to me to do this. I message married male colleagues about work. Today I messaged my friend's husband about planning her surprise birthday party. But random chitchat with virtual strangers? Not a thing.

Sorry but I don’t believe that random women are constantly messaging your DH out of the blue with absolutely no encouragement what so ever. There’s more to this than he’s telling you imo.

Women just don’t do this. Well the odd one might but the common denominator here is your DH. Hrs either enjoying the attention, flirting with them or letting them think he’s available

never, not like that any way.. the people i DM are people i've met in person, made a friendship with, and it'll start with something random like a meme or a joke or video i saw that i thought would make them smile because i know them well enough already to know.

i know 4 people i dm to say good morning to, and only one of those is a daily thing, they're all my closest friends.

Your husband is at best a shameless flirt and at worst denying your existence. HTH.

These aren’t friends, these are random women he doesn’t actually know according to the OP

Strange and also rather pathetic. They all need to grow up.

If he's messaging back to not hurt strangers feelings, it won't be a problem stopping when you tell him it hurts your feelings him doing that or even accepting strangers friend requests

I don't care about friends and family.
My husband has had a female friend he has been friends with since he was a child and they text regularly and it doesn't bother me at all.
He also sends messages to female neighbours about various things. Again not an issue there.
I just think it is weird when it is someone he has just met by chance somewhere for a few minutes or in one case hadn't met but she was a friend of a friend.

Sorry OP, but the only reason I can see for women doing this is if your husband has been flirting with them or if he has said 'why don't you add me on Facebook' etc. There are very few women who would randomly friend request a man they barely know.

Either you or your husband are very naive….I can’t quite work out which.