How often do you message married men?

[MystyLuna]

I am just wondering how often women send messages to married men?
Numerous women have added my husband on social media and I personally find it a bit strange how many messages they send.
These are women he isn't friends with.
He will met them by chance somewhere.
For example, he will fix a mates car and when he was there a woman (friend or relatives of said mate) will be there.
Later that woman will add my husband on social media and then start sending him loads of messages.
I have seen messages first thing in the morning which say "morning how are you?"
So nothing really wrong with the actual message but I just find it bizarre.
If I happened to meet someone by chance for a couple of minutes, I wouldn't instantly add them on social media and then message them every day, especially if they were married.
To me it just seems like a bizarre thing to do to start sending a married man daily messages.
If it was just one woman I probably wouldn't mention it, but it has been numerous women.
I know for certain that nothing has happened with any of these women and my husband can be a bit of a chatter box.
Especially when it comes to cars.
If someone asks him a car related question he can talk for hours (regardless of whether he is talking to a man or a woman).
My husband is too nice. If someone texts him, he will text back because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
I have told him that he is replying to much and it could lead to someone getting the wrong idea so why risk it.
I personally would never text a married man to ask "Hi what are you up to today" because it is none of my business and I just think it is strange.
Especially when it is someone I have met once for 5 minutes.
Maybe I am out of touch? Is this something people do?
I am currently sat in the bathroom typing this while my husband is downstairs messaging a woman he has met maybe once or twice who has just broken up with her boyfriend.
Another example. One of my neighbours has a daughter who needed a new car but didn't have any money because she was escaping an abusive relationship.
We didn't know the daughter but we friends with the mother.
At the time we had a car that we were getting rid of.
Me being an idiot, said the daughter could have the car and she could just pay for it once she got on her feet.
The daughter came to look at the car but didn't take it because the insurance was too much.
Next thing I know, she has added my husband on WhatsApp and messages him regularly.
Again husband not interested in her but always messages back to be nice.
Another example, my husband plays a playstation game with a mate that lives 3 hours away.
About 18 months ago this mate asked if a woman he knew could also play with them.
That woman then added my husband on Facebook (hadn't met her at the time) and started sending dozens of messages every day.
Is this something I should let go or am I right and it is strange?

That’s really bizarre. I consider my DH to be very handsome, but as far as I’m aware this never happens 😂 and if it did, I would expect him not to respond to messages from random women unless they were professional in nature. I’d think it’s more likely that your DH is adding them…

My friends? All the time. Total strangers? Never. And I don’t think I’ve ver messaged anyone to say good morning in my life.

This all sounds really odd.
I know you said he has no interest in them, but I’d suspect otherwise….
If he’s meeting these women in passing, how are they even finding him on social media/whatsapp?

If this was my DH he’d be out the door.
Sorry but he’s clearly making them feel comfortable enough to add him on SM and message him. Good morning texts from a bunch of random women everyday? It’s a hard NO from me. He’s entertaining them. It’s inappropriate and bloody weird. He isn’t a lovely guy, who doesn’t want to not hurt anyone’s feelings being rude, he’s lapping up the attention.

I don't have any married men on facebook without their wives. Im single and if I have a man friend on facebook I'll befriend his wife too.

I’ve never added a random man (married or single) on my account, and don’t even add non-random men (or women).

Conversely, I’ve never requested to become friends with the mechanic, milkman , or the man sitting in front of me at the theatre who I got chatting to before the show.

I agree with the poster above who said your dh is probably a flirt, and maybe leading these women in. Otherwise, why would they request contact. If he’s at home during the time, there’s plenty of time to interact with them.

I do message 4 married men but they are all friends from childhood.
They are my friends who just happen to be men .

This. I never send any of these types of messages to any married men.

The only married men I ever message are those for work or hobbies, and the messages are practical ones . No social chit chat.

These types of “ good morning how are you “ type messages are usually for teens / adults who are dating or want to date or perhaps parents and their adult children.

No woman who has honest intentions sends these to a married man who fixed their car. And no decent married man sends dozens of these messages each day to single women.

You need to stop worrying about these women and start worrying about your husband . He’s taking you for a mug .

I’d ask your H what exactly he’s doing in all this free time he has. I highly doubt he is innocent.

You say he replies "to be nice" - I think you are being a little naive here.
He should be ignoring or making it clear he is married from the off. He is encouraging them and likely knows it. We all know what it means when married men suddenly start messaging, especially without specific reason; it isn't rocket science.

unfortunately there are women out there who don’t care if a man is married they will try to get with him. If i was you ide be telling your husband to show you the messages and tell him to stop entertaining these women or it’s over. ultimatum im afraid

My OH has his own business that benefits from being online eg social media and LinkedIn. The business is his actual name.
He hates socials, doesn’t even have ones for private use.
I write his posts and so obviously anyone reading them thinks they are his words.
Within a few days of starting there were inboxes galore! Some even comment in public.
But the private ones…
Frank you are such a wonderful writer, and so funny and handsome! Here’s my number.
They all from women be has never met, don’t care about his business either. And the women on LinkedIn are the worst!
I did answer to time…
Hi my name is Peggy and I’m Frank’s OH.
While Frank is very funny and handsome he’s a terrible writer, hence thanks for the compliments on my writing.
I run his socials and inboxes so thanks for getting in touch.
So yes women do message people and can be persistent.
But your DH needs to get a backbone!
I also ran socials for a business owned by a man. He was fairly attractive, flirty salesman type, and I had to deal with his inbox as well. Including the near naked pics from his yoga teacher. Ew.

SAHDs with school age kids are catnip to some people that want an affair or NSA sex. My "D"H is at home and could get it any day of the week and nearly did last year

It's a bit odd!
I do message my male friends who are married but we have been friends a long time and I attended their weddings (with my DH!)

If someone I just met and it wasn't to arrange a play date because our kids got on in school or something then nope.

I work from home full time so it isn't as if my husband is home alone all day.
We are both home together but I am upstairs in my office from 8.15am to 5.15pm and he is usually downstairs or outside working on his car

What does he do all day then while your DC is at school and you're at work?

Is he keeping the house in pristine condition? Cooking elaborate 3 course meals for dinner? Training for a marathon? Rotting on the Xbox? Or flirting with women online?

I'd be looking at nanny cams if I were you OP.

Do you think they know he is married? Is it clear on his profile?
Its POSSIBLE that his friendly willingness to chat to anyone about things he is passionate about has been misconstrued as interest, if he's meeting them casually or in passing then they might not know he isn't single, and just read it as flirting.
Maybe, if I'm being charitable....

I can't think of any reason to message someone you've briefly met once with a generic good morning chit chat other than trying to open the door for a romantic relationship.
I mean, messaging about a specific thing and then get talking, fine. But hello how are you to a friend of a friend you met once? Weird.

They are either a friend of a friend, or they met a a car racing event which has a Facebook group so find him on there. He stupidly has he phone number on Facebook which is only visible to friends.

I am currently sat in the bathroom typing this while my husband is downstairs messaging a woman he has met maybe once or twice who has just broken up with her boyfriend.

Sorry OP I think you’re being a bit naive here.

Your husband is messaging these women.
You say it yourself.

Its very rare for a woman to go onto Facebook, find, add and message a man they’ve met only once.

But he is then accepting their friends request and replying, instead of just ignoring.

He is absolutely entertaining these women.
He may not necessarily be cheating but he’s definitely encouraging the attention.

I wouldn't message randoms in the circumstances you describe. I message male friends who happen to be married every now and again.

I work from home so we are both in the same house all day.
He does the house work and does all the cooking.
Once a week he goes swimming with my son's school and on another day he goes horse riding.
He also does all the shopping.
In his free time he is building his own kit car plus converting a van into a campervan.
He also seems to be the go to neighbour when any of the neighbours need help.
So when he isn't in the house he is just outside on the drive or outside a neighbours house. So I can see him most of the time.

Do these women appear when you are there?

He wears a wedding ring. It says on his Facebook account that he is married to me.
We have only just recently started going out together in the evenings now we have over respite care for our child.
We go out at least twice a month and every time he posts a photo of us out together because it is still quite a new thing for us to do together.
So it is very clear from his Facebook page he is married.

🤔 who is this horse he is riding?

Well i interact with people both men or women who happen to be married but about normal mundane things so I wouldn't deliberately go 'this is man he is married so I can't tell him he collect the free item I am giving putting online' type thing but no i don't randomly hook up with married men

There are normal reasons to interact with people who are married