To think this message absolutely does equal a dumping ?

[Passengerseatisopen]

Together just over two years. We don’t live together (by choice we both have older children).

Spend two or three nights a week seeing each other, stay over one or two nights every few weeks.

Spent the night together last week, no issues, great night together. The next day chatting away as normal and then I get a message saying he “has a lot on and so could we not see each other for the next 8 weeks”. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to say to that? To me it’s a soft dumping. I didn’t respond and an hour later had a message asking if I was ok.

I was at work so couldn’t call but just said “look not sure how you meant that message to land but sounds very much like you don’t want to see me anymore; if that’s the case then I don’t really know what else you want me to say, I’m not going to be messed around etc etc”.

He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”

I’ve ignored and we haven’t spoken for two days.

I can’t wrap my head around it

Bloody hell, women really are expected to do ALL the emotional labour while blokes can just fuck about being enigmatic and unkind, and we're supposed to run round desperately and worry about them?

What a lot of balls.

I'd never risk asking this of someone who I really liked and loved. I'm sure most people wouldn't..it would be too dangerous a gamble. So there, you now know everything. I'm sorry, what a horrible way to finish things.

What a spineless way to end things. For me that would be the end.

Maybe he really wants to focus on fitness and diet and needs that time...I once focused on a fitness regimen and I took 3 weeks out from socialising and general visits..I needed that time to avoid temptation sand get into a healthy routine..

I bet he's getting liposuction.

He'll come back after 8 weeks with chiselled abs and claim it's been done in the gym.

Just seen that the OP is a goady fucker.

Balls.

What does this mean @Game0fcrones?

That’s a very precise time - like, perhaps, a short jail term

So would you just text your partner of two years to say that rather than tell them in person? If so then you deserve to be dumped. It's not just the time away it's the lack of consideration and the rubbish communication.

As for all the possible scenarios offered up I'm fed up with second guessing men. Do we really think men sit around wondering what they think this text means? We waste so much of our precious life on this.

Yes, this - 100%!

Thats really odd. Is he going to jail?
Surely if you have been seeing someone for two years you would have a build up to that text, like several conversations about how you were going to be joining some extfeme diet, having hair implant surgery, working abroad, all these things you don't suddenly decide one day and you would discuss with your partner at some point im the build up this is really odd of him :(

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@Passengerseatisopen

OP, I'm only on page 1 of your thread, you sound like such a strong person, even though his text must have been a shock. You know yourself that you don't need him, so why not just live your life away from this CF, and when he messages or rings again, just ignore him? I suspect he will ask to see you much sooner, he just wants you to be upset, angry, hurt and needy.

Maybe he's getting a nose job? Or pec implants?
If not, he's acting like a selfish prick.

My first thought was, who's he got visiting?.

Either way it's close to "he broke up with me on a post-in" and he's really (really!) not that into you.

Sod that. Walk away now.

Firstly, are you quite sure he intended to write "8 weeks" and not "8 days"?
Even so......

In the very least you're entitled to an honest explanation. That is, one that doesn't totally insult your intelligence!

If he has a healthy libido, do you realistically think he will willingly abstain from sex for 8 weeks?! Not very likely.

In your situation, i think the not knowing would be more torturous than potentially finding out he's been leading a double life knocking off (or up!!) some other woman.

You've given yourself to this man for 2 years and obviously built a degree of closeness. You deserve some form of closure so you can move on.

I do love some of the theories on here...
A short break at His Majesty's "hotel", a stay in the Big Brother house, cosmetic surgery in Turkey!!
For Heaven's sake - where is the communication between you both here?

The casual text and the specificity; It’s weirdly telling about the way he must have been regarding your relationship all along, over the past 2 years, imo….. on a totally different page from you, probably because he’s up his own arse. Good riddance, I reckon!

8 weeks is weirdly specific. Could it be a tattoo or piercing he wants healed before he shows you it? Or maybe he has accidentally shaved off his eyebrows.

OP, I like that you have taken a stance of leaving him to it and not bothering any further. So odd, the only thing that comes to mind is a family or an ex scenario? Is his kid getting married, is the family including the ex going on a holiday together overseas maybe, is he becoming a granddad? It seems like he wants to pretend he’s not seeing anyone for 8 weeks and he doesn’t want anyone around him asking these questions if they see his phone flashing up with calls and messages. He’s definitely hiding something.

op if you ever find out that there was an ulterior motive to what he told you and can share please let us know! I’ve got an image in my mind of a guy in prison with shaved eyebrows, ab implants, hair transplant, liposuction and new tattoos, serving in the army, shacking his ex and starring in reality tv all while doing an 8 week fitness program.

I think his vagueness about giving you a reason is very telling. My first guess is he's met someone else and wants you to stay out of the way while he tries it out with her. Then he can also feel like/claim the two of you are "on a break" while he keeps you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out. I think you are wise to not play this game.

He’s done you a favour. What a drip he is.

And maybe add ‘And try not to drop the soap in the shower…’

Is it a relationship or a FWB situation. He's treating it like the latter.

Very odd behaviour. I would dump him first or at least say ‘I need a 21 week break, perhaps see you in the Autumn’. Then have great summer without this weirdo.