To think this message absolutely does equal a dumping ?

[Passengerseatisopen]

Together just over two years. We don’t live together (by choice we both have older children).

Spend two or three nights a week seeing each other, stay over one or two nights every few weeks.

Spent the night together last week, no issues, great night together. The next day chatting away as normal and then I get a message saying he “has a lot on and so could we not see each other for the next 8 weeks”. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to say to that? To me it’s a soft dumping. I didn’t respond and an hour later had a message asking if I was ok.

I was at work so couldn’t call but just said “look not sure how you meant that message to land but sounds very much like you don’t want to see me anymore; if that’s the case then I don’t really know what else you want me to say, I’m not going to be messed around etc etc”.

He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”

I’ve ignored and we haven’t spoken for two days.

I can’t wrap my head around it

That's...demented. 2 years and he sends a casual sounding text out of the blue asking for a 2 month gap. And then wonders why you might have gone quiet 😂😭 wtf. So he can focus on his fitness. Wtf x 2.

Its bollocks that anyone is this bloody clueless

He's met someone else and wants to try out his new option before he buys.

hes probably told her he is splitting up with you and he's told you he needs 8weeks.

Oh, I know, I've read a number of their posts over recent months (a couple so offensive and awful that they were very promptly deleted by MN) and I've only responded to a couple in the last few days because they've been so utterly ludicrous, old-fashioned and judgemental (like this one today). I just couldn't let it slide because, based on my own experience, it's complete and utter tosh! 😂

He’s met someone else and wants to keep you on ice while he sees if it works out with them.

I always read them just for the giggle! 😂

...... In June

If it genuinely is an 8wk fitness programme, I'd still walk away simply because he's text you rather than discussing it.

Totally fine to talk about this with your partner, compromise, maybe do it together. Not okay to cool off for 8wks by text.

Is he going to some kind of boot camp?

He wants to try someone new, as he is bored of the sex with OP, but wants to keep OP as option number 2, in case new exciting number 1 turns into a bunny boiler.

[even if it is the fitness thing, how can he drop so frivolously, either way, who wants to be so disposable]

You’re obviously not one of his top priorities. At least you know where you stand now.

It really tells you where you are in the priority list doesn’t it.
I would end things.

No, I think she’s being unreasonable for not speaking to him to find out what’s going on.

Giving your partner the silent treatment and refusing to communicate is abusive.

God, I'm so naive. There's everyone else wading in with hair transplant, turkey teeth, another woman about to give birth, and there's me thinking "ooh, eight weeks would just about take you up to the London Marathon", maybe he's in training for that 😂

I suspect the others are much closer to the truth than me, and I'd not even be responding to him, but just blocking him and moving on.

He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”

What a weirdo. Dump.

Are you having a laugh?

I cant believe he texted you this.

But most of all I can't believe you responded via text.

'Lets make it 12 weeks'

Because being on a break for 2 months is silly. And if you meet someone else, then you need to be able to be single. Not on a unplanned break which you has no idea was coming. But he is alright. Of course.

So you both spent the night together and he never mentioned anything? I highly doubt that hours later his schedule became so full that it’s taking up 8 weeks of his life.
You should ask what exactly does he have on that will take 8 weeks to get back to you, it’s a very specific time he’s given.
Does he have a deadline for work in 8 weeks that he needs to focus on? Does he have family coming from abroad for the next 8 weeks and wants to spend ALL his time with them?
Give him the chance to explain and if it sounds off don't waste another minute waiting on him let alone the 8 weeks.

Imagine you have kids with him, and then one day he decides he needs to work on his fitness and work gets a bit busy.

If I hadn't only been dumped by him 18 months ago I would think this was my ex! He repeatedly ended things so he could focus on his fitness. It was absolutely miserable and I'm so glad I stopped begging for him to come back. He actually messaged me a year after dumping me to ask if we could talk because he missed me and had made a "terrible terrible mistake"!

This.

He's not taking your needs, wants or requirements into consideration n the slightest.

I think this is worth a ghosting tbh. Lazy/non existent response to his lazy non existence care for you OP. Tosser for treating you like a commodity. So transactional.

Probably going to Turkey for new hair or something like that 😀

I wouldn’t be ghosting him until I’d have a full explanation. It’s the least you deserve after two years.

Surely he's the one being unreasonable by dropping this 8 weeks off from the relationship on her and not bothering to explain it or discuss it properly - why should she be the one chasing him for explanations?

8 weeks was the suggested recovery time when my ex had testicular cancer. And yes it wasn't something he told me I was in the room when the Dr told him.
Some men see it has making them less of a man, some men find it hard to talk about.
Maybe ask if he's okay?