To think this message absolutely does equal a dumping ?

[Passengerseatisopen]

Together just over two years. We don’t live together (by choice we both have older children).

Spend two or three nights a week seeing each other, stay over one or two nights every few weeks.

Spent the night together last week, no issues, great night together. The next day chatting away as normal and then I get a message saying he “has a lot on and so could we not see each other for the next 8 weeks”. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to say to that? To me it’s a soft dumping. I didn’t respond and an hour later had a message asking if I was ok.

I was at work so couldn’t call but just said “look not sure how you meant that message to land but sounds very much like you don’t want to see me anymore; if that’s the case then I don’t really know what else you want me to say, I’m not going to be messed around etc etc”.

He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”

I’ve ignored and we haven’t spoken for two days.

I can’t wrap my head around it

I have had another think about this and wonder if he's having a hair transplant t or other cosmetic procedure that he's embarrassed about and doesn't want you to see him whilst he's recovering.

Not that it matters, I would still dump him.

May OP should have texted back "What have you been convicted of?" 😂

8 weeks is bizarre and specific, and seriously weird. dump him, he sounds very odd, and if he can happily go 2 months without seeing you then it sounds like he's not worth your time

What a prince! No distractions eh! Well…he can enjoy even more undistracted time then…

if he contacts you again maybe respond saying you're giving him the space he asked for.

then don't contact him again.

R U D E !!

Dear Michael,

You appear to have confused me with Booking.com. I do not accept reservations 8 weeks in advance. From now on, with regards to me, your diary is forever empty

You don’t want to be with someone who seems to view seeing you as chore to be fitted in (or not) around other things.

I don’t think it’s a fitness thing. A lot of my friends live and breathe fitness as it’s their jobs but they always make time for their relationships.

Even if it was something like fitness or work related you’d think your reaction would have sparked something in him to back track but he’s not even attempting to make it right.

What?? Seriously? My goodness, the poor woman really does have something to think about now!

This is ACE!!

Right so how does that work in the future if you're living together? You move out for 8 weeks?

Brilliant answer.

I'd just ignore him from now on. No doubt he'll crawl back after the eight weeks are up, but I'd continue to ignore him then. God knows what's going on - have you checked his gym to see whether there's a "getting ready for summer" programme on?

8 weeks is so specific that I assumed some kind of surgery or something embarassing.

I do remember saying to my now DP in the dating stage that I needed one week no contact due to having to give full focus to a work project. He also assumed I was breaking up with him but true to my word - work got done and we resumed contact. 8 weeks though is a long time. I’d just delete and block him for 8 weeks and let him crack on.

I know of someone who asked their spouse if they ever wished they weren't married for a week? The person asking wanted to sleep with an ex..

" No sorry that doesn't work for me , I'm not a pick up & put down person so moving on I think we are at the end of the road relationship wise . Goodbye " .

OK. Enjoy rehab.

This is where the thumbs 👍 up emoji can really be put to use.

WTF? After eight weeks I'd let him know you have someone else, whether you have or not. Ignore his calls or messages, you're not a toy to be picked up and put down at his fancy

I might come across as really old fashioned, but do you not like...talk to each other? The first thing I'd be doing is calling him to have a conversation. His text is weird, absolutely, but I'm also finding weird is that you haven't had an actual conversation with him to understand what this text means. And yes you probably texted some more, but again...have you talked? Because if you can't have a conversation about your relationship then what is the point really?

I would respond but only to say this,

I'd be messaging back 'Actually if you don't want to see me for 8 weeks, I can only conclude that I'm way down your list of priorities. That being the case, I'm happy to end the relationship now'

"I didn’t respond and an hour later had a message asking if I was ok.
I was at work so couldn’t call but just said “look not sure how you meant that message to land but sounds very much like you don’t want to see me anymore; if that’s the case then I don’t really know what else you want me to say, I’m not going to be messed around etc etc”.
He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”"

AND on top of this rude, arrogant behaviour, he's cheeky enough to try to make you feel you are being unreasonable to find this unacceptable! It's DARVO!

My god, what a jerk

Urgh. When did men get SO awful.

I’d block him OP

This is absolutely appalling. The communication is so deplorable, you can't do any more with this really.

All you can say here is ' You are asking for 8 weeks space, with no further reasonable explanation or communication, after 2 years together. This really won't work for me any longer. I really wish you the best'.

Then you end it. You don't get dragged into all the nonsense texts he will probably send, still failing to give you answers or clarity. That behaviour in itself is incompatible with any decent adult relationship.