To think this message absolutely does equal a dumping ?

[Passengerseatisopen]

Together just over two years. We don’t live together (by choice we both have older children).

Spend two or three nights a week seeing each other, stay over one or two nights every few weeks.

Spent the night together last week, no issues, great night together. The next day chatting away as normal and then I get a message saying he “has a lot on and so could we not see each other for the next 8 weeks”. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to say to that? To me it’s a soft dumping. I didn’t respond and an hour later had a message asking if I was ok.

I was at work so couldn’t call but just said “look not sure how you meant that message to land but sounds very much like you don’t want to see me anymore; if that’s the case then I don’t really know what else you want me to say, I’m not going to be messed around etc etc”.

He messaged back saying “you sound annoyed today?!”

I’ve ignored and we haven’t spoken for two days.

I can’t wrap my head around it

My friend was seeing a guy. After a couple of weeks they spoke about going away for the night. He was very specific that it needed to before the end of September as he would be busy after that. He was busy alright, he didn't tell me friend that his ex was 8 months pregnant and due the start of October!

He also ghosted her two weeks before Christmas until she threatened to turn up at his door. He then admitted he was spending Christmas with his ex and their two kids and that his family didn't know about my friend.

He also told her he wouldn't be around for a couple of weeks as he was working and helping his mother with stuff. Nah, he was in Portugal with the ex and their kids. Crazy.

Dump him. Actually, don’t reply at all and leave him guessing.

A wife and new baby?

Ok

• definitely not prison, his career would be over, 8 weeks wouldn’t make a difference
• he wouldn’t hide cosmetic surgery or something like that, he’d be quite honest about it
• Reality TV is a big no

I think it’s a fitness programme, he’s obsessed and wants to get back into shape with no “distractions”

I’m not responding or planning to. He can have all the space he needs !

I hate to suggest it and don't normally like to suggest it but STI treatment maybe?

Some men are not at all emotional and instead think practically. In his head he might well just be busy for 8 weeks to him that is a fact, to you that is inconsiderate.
Could you visit him two nights a week etc for the next 8 weeks?

I'd be messaging back 'Actually if you don't want to see me for 8 weeks, I can only conclude that I'm way down your list of priorities. That being the case, I'm happy to end the relationship now'

Then I'd block the fucker!

Wrong thread

“Haha. No.”

Undercover cop.

Yes, that's absolutely fine. It's funny you said that because about to ask for a 12 week break and thought you might be annoyed
It's so good we're on the same level after all this time.
I can't promise to be there and chat with you because this specific 12 weeks is going to be very busy for me.
I hope your 8 weeks fly by! I know my 12 free weeks will.
Speak soon!

Fuck off!

Block him

The deadline is bizarre. Is he training for an event? What kind of stuff do you tend to do together?

I must admit my first thought was that an old girlfriend is going to be back in town, he's intrigued but doesn't want to be always wondering. I suspect I've just spent too much time on Mumsnet however as this is a massive leap.

Anyway if the relationship has been great so far, I would write "I can't believe you think its cool to send me a text to arrange this."

Good for you op!

The fact that he'll happily not see you to (probably) focus on his fitness is really odd and also insulting.

As a positive , it sounds like you've rid yourself of someone pretty dull. Being so obsessive about one thing is just too much. You can spend time together without eating unhealthy foods easily , it just takes prep and effort.

Have you questioned why such a specific time frame?

What a ridiculous message to send someone you’ve been in a relationship with for 2 years!
I don’t think he’s dumping you, I think he thinks he can drop you and pick you up again whenever it is convenient for him. Like you will wait around for when he deigns to grace you with his presence again.

What a ridiculous message to send someone you’ve been in a relationship with for 2 years!
I don’t think he’s dumping you, I think he thinks he can drop you and pick you up again whenever it is convenient for him. Like you will wait around for when he deigns to grace you with his presence again.

I often see on fitness instagram etc ‘why not
disappear for 4/8/12 weeks and focus on you’ sort of programs which I get sounds like a great reset, however as a human being you can’t really do that without letting people down. So it might be legit, but it’s still rude and shows his priorities (ie him)

@naemates I'm not surprised , but don't people realise how ridiculous a lot of things are on social media? It's like the 'we all have the same 24 hours' crap. Don't even get me started on how offensive that is.

The ones that get to me are ‘Mama, why not disappear for 8 weeks and work on yourself’

Sure, let me know when you’re sending the nanny my way and I’ll get right on that

@naemates indeed. And the posts that suggest you get up earlier than the house to workout. What if your child wakes at 5am and you're already knackered!

Wow, it's not like your living in each others pockets as it is.

If he can't find at least a couple of hours once a week I'd be waving goodbye and telling him why. His reason for doing this doesn't matter unless he is in the forces, if after two years he can't spend some time with you on a regular basis he is not worth it

People don't send messages like that to those they see as valuable and important to them. The potential cost and loss to their lives is unacceptably high.
Pick yourself up op, move on. He'll be back, these types always are when they're lonely or drunk.

'WTAF Michael. Are you actually being serious to send this oddness in a breezy text? Are we 19?'
(insert correct name)
Would be my response. I mean...

Working
On
His
Fitness.

Anyone else get a Ross from Friends 'working on my music' vibe?