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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Thought things were getting better

180 replies

Hopeless1686 · 21/03/2025 07:23

I posted a a year or 2 ago about my worries with my partner and a female collegue. She moved branches and as far as i know they havent seen eachother anymore.
Things were better with us....probably shows i was dumb to stay as shes gone and we got better 🙄 well our sex life took a dive. 9 months without anything. He had pain/medical issues so i just left it. We had sex for the first time last weekend. Something just niggled me at the sudden change. I done the bad thing and checked his phone again this morning. Saw he had looked at his secure folder on recent apps. I opened the recycling bin on it and there is i would say over 20-25 photos of a woman- NOT the collegue i was worried about. A couple of naked photos. Loads of her fully clothed- selfie. One photo is a photo of him and a seperate photo of her made into a side by side. I dont know if she made it or him but got a feeling its him.
I cant say anything to him as he got annoyed i looked through his phone years ago when he was adament nothing went on with him and this collegue. I dont know who this woman is. Im sick to my stomach. He goes to work, comes home and we are always together- he doesnt like going out on nights out. Doesnt have many friends. I saw photos of this woman about a year ago in his deleted photos on gallery but to me they looked like photos of a random woman that was on insta so i stupidly brushed it off. He told me a few weeks ago when i said i felt ugly and he could do better that i need to stop saying that as if he wanted anything different he wouldnt be here. Jokes on me obviously

OP posts:
CountryTunes · 15/04/2025 22:48

The narcissist will be back.

supercali77 · 16/04/2025 06:58

I can only echo previous posters. You have got to get your self respect off the floor.

He's laid some pathetic trap so that he can be mad at you for not trusting the untrustworthy tw*tbag.

And he can't afford to rent himself? So...he's still there??

sameshizz · 16/04/2025 07:15

Op he set this all up. I’d put my house on him being with this other woman soon but him claiming they only got together after you split up . Please don’t blame yourself for any of this . Don’t beg for him back or do the pick me dance or you will kick yourself for it further down the line . Tell him you agree that this isn’t working and you will not put up with his cheating .

S0j0urn4r · 16/04/2025 08:13

If you're broken up he needs to leave. Where he goes isn't your problem. Focus on your kids and on getting your confidence and self - respect out of the toilet.

CountryTunes · 16/04/2025 10:42

Tell him to pack his stuff and leave by xyz date and if not you will be putting his stuff in the tip. Kick him out your room and change the locks. He is a right old narcissist and a cheat. Take time to heal, enjoy life with you girlfriends and children and when you're ready get a new man. Plenty of fish...

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