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Original poster

I'm getting the fanny gallops for a man 16 years older than me

248 replies

Fannygallopswtf · 08/03/2025 00:50

What on earth is going on.

I met him at work not long after I started there a few months ago. We hit it off straight away. He's on a different team, but I find myself finding excuses to talk to him and involve him in projects.

BUT.

He's not physically attractive at all. I normally go for younger men. He's obviously much older than me. A bit overweight. A smoker. Basically the opposite of everything I would usually find attractive physically in a man.

But!!

I've just spent all evening texting him after we spent the full day travelling together for work today (a situation which was shamelessly engineered by the two of us so we could spend some time alone together) and I'm getting the serious fanny gallops over him??

Wtf is going on and am I right in thinking it would be a terrible idea to pursue this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fannygallopswtf · 11/03/2025 20:52

A small update for you all - we're meeting this Friday now instead of next.

He also asked me if I want to attend a work award ceremony with him next week but I'm not sure if that's too much - it's his business area not mine so there's no plausible reason for me to be there if anyone asks questions.

OP posts:
Talulahalula · 11/03/2025 22:12

Yes, that’s too much.
(edited to add - the reason I say this is because it is very public and makes it harder for you to back away if it turns out you don’t like him. It’s forcing you into a public couple space when you don’t really know him).

Diningtableornot · 11/03/2025 22:17

Fannygallopswtf · 11/03/2025 20:52

A small update for you all - we're meeting this Friday now instead of next.

He also asked me if I want to attend a work award ceremony with him next week but I'm not sure if that's too much - it's his business area not mine so there's no plausible reason for me to be there if anyone asks questions.

A work awards ceremony doesn't sound quite the right setting for fannygallopping.

justasking111 · 11/03/2025 22:24

Have fun on Friday.

Subwaystop · 11/03/2025 22:25

Hope there’s galloping on Friday. Wise to turn down the award ceremony.

MrsWhites · 11/03/2025 22:26

Friday sounds like a good idea but I’m not sure I’d go with the awards ceremony, that’s very much coming out as a potential couple territory!

HadtoExclude · 11/03/2025 22:29

@myghastisflabbered and @Fannygallopswtf yes that sharp pain usually happens when you're ovulating and I guess it's when your ovaries convulse to release the egg. Not nice but it passes xxx

JanetareyouokareyouokJanet · 11/03/2025 22:41

So invested in how the galloping goes! Have fun.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 12/03/2025 03:56

HadtoExclude · 11/03/2025 22:29

@myghastisflabbered and @Fannygallopswtf yes that sharp pain usually happens when you're ovulating and I guess it's when your ovaries convulse to release the egg. Not nice but it passes xxx

Rectal shooting pains are called Proctalgia Fugax.

Passwordsaremynemesis · 12/03/2025 04:26

Just to wade into the GCSE debate. I did my O levels in 1986. GCSEs were being trialled and we did a syllabus that in hindsight must have covered both, as I have an O level and also a GCSE in Biology, all other subjects were O level only. This was in NI so we could have been Guinea pigs. So they definitely existed in some format in 1986 but only some subjects, and it was pretty unusual.

GarlicStyle · 12/03/2025 04:55

I'm going to have to put you on my active list so I can catch up with The Date. Sorry (ish)!

You sound really great, OP, and I've no idea why everyone's going out of their way to advise you not to marry him before you've even had your first date or shag! For now, I'm just wishing your pheromones an enjoyable experience.

GarlicStyle · 12/03/2025 04:56

(Oh, and javelin arse is not ovulation pain.)

DubheYouCantBeSirius · 12/03/2025 05:48

ItGhoul · 08/03/2025 07:47

My DP was ‘not my type’ when we met at work. That was 22 years ago.

Go for it.

Same.

A friend introduced me to DH and I felt intrigued by him but didn't fancy him.

I found myself thinking about him all the time and then I had a call from the friend saying had had asked for my number.

By the end of our date I was smitten and we got married eight months later.

We've been married 23 years and we are everything to each other. I've never met anyone like him. Cheesy I know but just looking his face makes me smile and yet he is not my 'type' at all.

HelenWheels · 12/03/2025 05:50

ooh this is such a good read. have a good time

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/03/2025 05:55

I don't see why fancying someone older than you would be thought unusual. George Clooney is 14 years older than me. And 16 older than Amal.

Twiglets1 · 12/03/2025 06:17

I'm invested ... would love to hear how Friday's date goes.

MaggieBsBoat · 12/03/2025 06:19

I too am curious as to why this is so odd. Unless you are the modern version of Helen of Troy I’m pretty sure you’re not all that OP enough to be out of his league as such. Being overweight and a smoker doesn’t make someone lesser…you’re nearly 40 and probably average.

dawngreen · 12/03/2025 06:34

You mentioned he raised kids. Do you know anything more about them? or was it just term of phrase.

PrivateNelly · 12/03/2025 06:37

I think why not, go for it! I secretly have a crush on my previous boss who is 15 years older (but that’s not a mutual crush just embarrassingly one-sided on my end lol).

Can’t see why not! As I understand you both have kids and previous relationships that you have discussed. Now that this is out of the way (so no pressure for more kids or an intense relationship), why not enjoy this sort of thing?

2021x · 12/03/2025 06:43

I can’t judge I got the same feeling about Ralph Fiennes… in Convlave.

I have a therapist….

StrawberryDream24 · 12/03/2025 06:47

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/03/2025 05:55

I don't see why fancying someone older than you would be thought unusual. George Clooney is 14 years older than me. And 16 older than Amal.

George Clooney isn't an overweight smoker.

George Clooney has made his career partly on being handsome. He was a "heart throb" in ER and built on it from there. He has aged well.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 12/03/2025 06:50

Fannygallopswtf · 08/03/2025 00:50

What on earth is going on.

I met him at work not long after I started there a few months ago. We hit it off straight away. He's on a different team, but I find myself finding excuses to talk to him and involve him in projects.

BUT.

He's not physically attractive at all. I normally go for younger men. He's obviously much older than me. A bit overweight. A smoker. Basically the opposite of everything I would usually find attractive physically in a man.

But!!

I've just spent all evening texting him after we spent the full day travelling together for work today (a situation which was shamelessly engineered by the two of us so we could spend some time alone together) and I'm getting the serious fanny gallops over him??

Wtf is going on and am I right in thinking it would be a terrible idea to pursue this?

Well, that's an attractive phrase...
So ladylike

Loopytiles · 12/03/2025 06:53

‘Ladylike’ isn’t most MNetters’ aspiration!

StrawberryDream24 · 12/03/2025 06:54

MaggieBsBoat · 12/03/2025 06:19

I too am curious as to why this is so odd. Unless you are the modern version of Helen of Troy I’m pretty sure you’re not all that OP enough to be out of his league as such. Being overweight and a smoker doesn’t make someone lesser…you’re nearly 40 and probably average.

She doesn't have to be Helen of Troy to be out of the league of a man nearly 20 yrs older than her FFS.

Even if she's an average late 30s woman, he's still an average or below average (because overweight etc ) 50s man.

He's nearly in her parents generation (if they'd had kids in their 20s).

I had a relationship with an only 9/10 years older man when I was just below the op's age and I had several people comment on the disparity after I finished it (because they felt they couldn't comment during it). The age gap showed in all sorts of ways/caused all sorts of issues.

The fact that this man is trying to dive straight into public coupledom shows you something already..

jellyfishperiwinkle · 12/03/2025 06:54

It takes all sorts. Many people are charming and interesting without being traditional Adonises. I just don't think it's odd to fancy someone older or not your usual type. Before DH my type was tall, slender and dark. He is fairly tall, but stocky, slightly portly and ginger. And a smoker. I still fancy him now, 25 years on.