I'm getting the fanny gallops for a man 16 years older than me

[Fannygallopswtf]

What on earth is going on.

I met him at work not long after I started there a few months ago. We hit it off straight away. He's on a different team, but I find myself finding excuses to talk to him and involve him in projects.

BUT.

He's not physically attractive at all. I normally go for younger men. He's obviously much older than me. A bit overweight. A smoker. Basically the opposite of everything I would usually find attractive physically in a man.

But!!

I've just spent all evening texting him after we spent the full day travelling together for work today (a situation which was shamelessly engineered by the two of us so we could spend some time alone together) and I'm getting the serious fanny gallops over him??

Wtf is going on and am I right in thinking it would be a terrible idea to pursue this?

"Being overweight and a smoker doesn't make someone lesser."

That's subjective: if I was looking for a long-term or life partner, I would rule out someone who is both, as they are statistically more likely to drop down dead faster than a man who is in good shape and does not smoke!

Perversion?
Thats hilarious.
'Not messing where you eat' is wise for a reason.

Recently a horrendous thread about it on here.
He was a psycho.

16 years is a huge gap.
Scratch the itch if you must, but 16 years is a massive difference IMO.

There are some quite mean posters on this thread! It's totally fine for the OP to say this guy is far from her usual type - and I think we usually know when we're more conventionally attractive than someone else, or vice versa. It doesn't make anyone horrendously arrogant to state the facts fgs.

I say go for it, OP! Life is short and if the attraction is there, why not? Of course you'll need to tread carefully with the work thing, and also do some thinking about the age gap if the relationship begins to get serious...but just go have fun for now and see what happens. Let us know how it goes!

If the same thing was said on here about same sex relationships it would be immediately deleted

I'm sitting alone in my living room , tears in my eyes because of excessive laughing and giggling at fanny gallops and foof.
Long live Mumsnet!

OP, there are some pretty negative comments on here and I see no problem in dating a guy you clearly find attractive even if he's not your usual type. It might work out, it might not but you won't know unless you try.

Incidentally an acquaintance of mine raised his kids after he and their Mum split becuse she was an alcoholic. They still saw her but he was resident parent. Ignore the naysayers and see what happens.

Post of the day!

But not everyone thinks like you do.

Weight and smoking would be the biggest turn off for me.

The issue is he's a colleague and senior.

Nothing to do with age etc- it's a workplace issue if it all goes wrong.

Being overweight and a smoker doesn’t make someone lesser…you’re nearly 40 and probably average.

Hilarious.

You minimise the health risks of being fat and a smoker, but are ageist enough to say the OP is almost 40 and therefore 'average'.

@selffellatingouroborosofhate before long someone on MN will be asking if they should use that for a baby name 😂.

OP has already said that they work in different parts of the business. She doesn't report to him. Work is one of the most common places for people to meet - lots of people manage to navigate it.

How did the date go????

I hate chasing OPs for updates, but this thread has a cliffhanger with a clear timeline! How did it go, @Fannygallopswtf? By "it", I mean the titular fanny: did it gallop, canter or lie down and play dead?

Hope you had a nice evening, regardless.

Also invested! Living vicariously and keen to know how it all went. What did you wear, how did you feel, what happens next…

Maybe they're still in bed ... ?

Sometimes attraction isn't logical. When I was 20 I had a fling with a guy in his 50s . It was definitely mutual, nothing weird from him.

Unfortunately he died a couple of years later.

Dp really isn’t my physical type at all. I went out for dinner with him years ago and we were waiting to be seated and had to step out of the way of passing waiters and people leaving. He just firmly but gently put his hands on my hips and leaned me against him as we stood and something about it was a really unexpected chemistry click.

I still absolutely love the smell and touch of him.

Argh, sorry to disappoint you all but I actually had a change of heart and cancelled the drink!

The day before he showed up at my office for no reason other than to sit next to me, and it just completely gave me the ick and made me realise the physical attraction just isn't there for me.

I like him so much as a person I almost wish it was, but I don't think I can force it if that makes sense.

He took it well and said there won't be any awkwardness at work, so hopefully we can just be friends instead.

Sorry there's no juicy exciting ending to this one guys!

You made the right decision

Fair enough, and we’ve enjoyed your thread!

oh I’m so disappointed for you OP.

Sorry!!