Partner deleted my personal notes of our arguments

[Als95]

Me and my boyfriend of 8 years have been going through a really rocky few months, to the point where things get heated and he gets quite emotionally and verbally abusive (especially after a drink!)

Tonight he comes home very tipsy and loud and is crashing about as I lay in bed. He then proceeds to turn the lights on and quizzes me about why my phone is right next to me. (My phone is always on charge on the bed side table at night). I respond to say it’s charging and he doesn’t believe me and then asks to see my notes on my phone? I ask why and he says he wants to humour himself (I at this point have no idea that he has gone down my phone!)

I then leave the room and go into our spare bedroom and he shouts out that he has deleted every single note I’ve recorded about our arguments and if I do that again I’ll regret it and we will be done? (Again, lots of cursing in between!!)

Am I in the wrong? Whenever I try to speak about our arguments he never seems to want to resolve it or chat through what’s going on (hence why I made the notes) It’s a never ending cycle!!! Help

Please get out now before children are involved. Please seek a women’s shelter. He is abusing you.

You probably should have left him at the time you started making notes !! Not when he learnt about them.

please do leave him! Or better still, chuck him out.

I think, I could be wrong, that he’s been out drinking, obviously done something he shouldn’t have, be it drugs, drinking, strippers, come home and thought to himself he needs to find something you could’ve done to to try and balance his actions or deflect everything onto you to make himself feel better and justify his actions. Either way, he sounds like a bully. Get out whilst you can! Hopefully you can sell the house and split the proceeds or he has to buy you out