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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found women's stockings in our laundry basket

208 replies

AmyRoger · 03/03/2025 16:28

Hi all, probably a stupid question to ask but I found a pair of women's stockings in our laundry basket at home today. OH is away for work trip and my heart sank. I've sent photo asking what they are and who they belong to and he's not replied . I'm not imagining things right ?

OP posts:
TomPinch · 04/03/2025 07:42

Devianinc · 03/03/2025 23:27

And really, who wears stockings anymore?

Men 😂

Deathraystare · 04/03/2025 07:46

theboffinsarecoming · 03/03/2025 17:05

@BurglarAndSwag 😂

It took me a minute, but I got there!

And here!! I just realised it now!

PrincessOfPreschool · 04/03/2025 07:47

Does he work away a lot, OP. Do you have separate finances or can you check for cash withdrawals? I would be thinking:

  • He put his clothes in an obvious 'dirty clothes' area in hotel (bottom of a cupboard/ place where suitcases go/under bed and room not cleaned properly so got caught up.
  • Sex worker?
  • Affair partner from work
  • Previous trip wasn't a work trip

The toddler years are a classic time for affairs - 'neglected' husband no longer a focus (compared to when no kids), woman been through/ going through many physical (and mental) changes due to taking care of small child, financial struggles.

Stifledlife · 04/03/2025 08:04

Sometimes it can be the smallest thing that sets off a chain of events.
A letter from a hotel arrived at our house address to Mr and Mrs Life. I hadn't been to said hotel. He is now an ex dh.

Believe your gut.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/03/2025 08:08

AmyRoger · 03/03/2025 19:55

He's just replied he doesn't know where they've come from and started talking about other random things. He's back home in a few days, I've gone from missing him when he left this morning to resenting him now. I feel so stupid

I’d be-well they didn’t appear out of nowhere and they aren’t mine. Whose are they-yours or your OW?

toomanytocount2025 · 04/03/2025 08:11

Do you have a cat? As we all know that cats like to bring random stuff home

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 04/03/2025 08:38

How far away is he? I'd be paying him a visit late at night.

SwerveCity · 04/03/2025 08:40

toomanytocount2025 · 04/03/2025 08:11

Do you have a cat? As we all know that cats like to bring random stuff home

And puts them in the laundry basket?

YourHappyJadeEagle · 04/03/2025 08:42

Forevafatty · 03/03/2025 23:17

My tired perimenopausal brain can't work this out 😢. Someone put my out of my misery, please? Something to do with stockings being used to rob banks?!

Robbers supposedly put stockings over their heads to disguise their faces but they could still see what they were doing. Really stupid robbers of course as they could have just worn balaclavas.

Beeloux · 04/03/2025 08:56

Might just be me but I’m late twenties and the only time I have worn stockings is when a shag is on the cards. Otherwise I just wear tights.

I think this sounds very suspicious.

Drfosters · 04/03/2025 08:58

Was he away on business preceding the laundry? If he wasn’t and was at work and coming home it does seem a bit odd. But I guess it could have been in an old bag he unpacked before going away on his trip.

honestly I am not sure what I would do in your situation. I do think he needs to be quizzed more about it. It is immensely suspicious and I’d fear the worst but then if it turns out out there was an innocent explanation it would be horrific to lose a marriage over. I am not sure how you find out the truth .

Cunningfungus · 04/03/2025 09:01

LostMyLanyard · 04/03/2025 06:49

Jesus! The leaps some women will go to to find an 'innocent explanation' 🤦‍♀️ Do you seriously believe that a pair of stockings 'stuck to' the OP from a random changing room?? Ffs! 🤣🤣

Indeed. Or a cat dragged them in 🤣🤣🤣

TY78910 · 04/03/2025 09:14

RedSkyDelights · 04/03/2025 07:39

Possible innocent explanations

  1. OP has accidentally picked them up in gym/swimming pool changing room
  2. Her toddler has picked them up at nursery (maybe part of dressing up clothes or craft items).
  3. OP's OH has innocently picked them up in a hotel room (e.g. they've been left in a drawer and he didn't register them and put his things on top)
  4. Friend has been round and they've dropped out of her bag and then you/OH threw them in the wash without realising they weren't yours

If my toddler was going crafts at nursery using stockings, I'd be having words 😂😂

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/03/2025 09:16

AmyRoger · 03/03/2025 19:55

He's just replied he doesn't know where they've come from and started talking about other random things. He's back home in a few days, I've gone from missing him when he left this morning to resenting him now. I feel so stupid

OP you’ve given him a head start to start covering his tracks. Best thing to do, is make him feel like you’ve believed him. Then keep eyes and ears open. But trust your gut - the only logical reason they are there, is he is doing something behind your back. I reckon they were in a pocket perhaps or got bundled up with his dirty washing in a hotel room. How ironic you’re sat there at home washing while he’s up to whatever he’s up to 😞

BodyKeepingScore · 04/03/2025 09:17

Jeeekers · 03/03/2025 17:56

CSI here.
stockings … are they tights, tro kegs connected with pants on top?
or “stockings” and suspenders?

tights:
if they were chucked away, there’s no jizz. Female did not put them back on. If she wore them without underpants you can probably collect dna for a 23 & me. Clean nitrile gloves, distilled water, sterilized small beaker sterilized scissors and sterilized tweezers, clean work area, mask . With clean tools and work area. Cut of crotch part which contacted her bits (this won’t work if she also wore underpants).
You are going to make the “spit” for dna test
Cut out the crotch bit that has female fluid, put in the clean beaker with small amount distilled water. Let it soak a bit to get the dna into the water. Use tweezers to squeeze the fabric. Pour liquid into collection tube. Make a fake name etc and send it off. . Hope to catch the dna and find a match

Jesus. This is insane.

Bbq1 · 04/03/2025 09:17

theboffinsarecoming · 03/03/2025 17:05

@BurglarAndSwag 😂

It took me a minute, but I got there!

What am I missing?

cinnamongirl123 · 04/03/2025 09:19

As a PP has said, it can often be the smallest thing that leads to a huge revelation. A friend discovered that her DH had slept with another woman by finding a sock that she didn't recognise in their bed. Good luck OP x

ClosetBasketCase · 04/03/2025 09:20

Really there are 2 options:

  1. He's having an affair
  2. He's cross dressing - already read on the way down to comment that you say they arent his size.

Either way - i would get your ducks in a row.

If he's out of the house for the minute - make sure you have all important documents for you and DD - look though all bank statements for oddities, check printers, personal bind, other pockets, winter coats etc. photograph everything.

Where there is smoke there is usually fire,, unfortunatley - so be prepared.

Sending hugs, because i know this sucks :/

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/03/2025 09:20

cinnamongirl123 · 04/03/2025 09:19

As a PP has said, it can often be the smallest thing that leads to a huge revelation. A friend discovered that her DH had slept with another woman by finding a sock that she didn't recognise in their bed. Good luck OP x

Yes, this OP. I’m so sorry for you but you need to not let this go. There’s no other reason it can be there.

RedSkyDelights · 04/03/2025 09:21

TY78910 · 04/03/2025 09:14

If my toddler was going crafts at nursery using stockings, I'd be having words 😂😂

Really? Used for lavender or other smelly bags; as a basis for stuffed animals; growing grass/cress seeds in to make "hair". Just off the top of my head.

MeganM3 · 04/03/2025 09:21

Is he away a lot?
I'd assume they are the stockings of someone he has been seeing.
Either at your house or brought home accidentally (or otherwise) in a bag, pocket or other. Affairs are unbelievably common.

PinkyFlamingo · 04/03/2025 09:23

Innocent explanation....yeh right! 😂😂😂

Dotty87 · 04/03/2025 09:24

RedSkyDelights · 04/03/2025 07:39

Possible innocent explanations

  1. OP has accidentally picked them up in gym/swimming pool changing room
  2. Her toddler has picked them up at nursery (maybe part of dressing up clothes or craft items).
  3. OP's OH has innocently picked them up in a hotel room (e.g. they've been left in a drawer and he didn't register them and put his things on top)
  4. Friend has been round and they've dropped out of her bag and then you/OH threw them in the wash without realising they weren't yours

Ahh yes, it must be from the nursery's tarts and vicars dressing up day!

RedVelvetIcing · 04/03/2025 09:26

I think people on here are very naive to think they’ve been hanging around from guests at Christmas or the hotel is grubby enough to have left over stockings from previous guests. Previous tenants? Are people living in a pig sty?

The most obvious answer is usually the right one. He’s shagging around.

Digdongdoo · 04/03/2025 09:27

I would assume they came out of a pocket in the wash. There's not really any good explanation unfortunately. He's either cheating or cross dressing.