Page 5 | Husbands food preferences driving me crazy - NEW THREAD

Jessa85 · 2025-02-28T12:17:47+00:00

NEW THREAD for those following my thread from yesterday! I will post the update of my conversation with my husband in a second.[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5283554-husbands-food-preferences-driving-me-crazy?page=19&reply=142513765 Original thread]]

MeganCarter · 28/02/2025 19:01

Lilactimes · 28/02/2025 13:59

Well done @Jessa85 you are AMAZING!!!

I am a completely single loan parent - absolutely NO financial aid or family support.
i had a big job and earned more than your husband. Job left me drained but whatever ..

My point is - if I cost everything I had to pay to get help with in order to work a really huge global job and then be 100% present for my daughter the minute i walked through the door when nanny immediately left so all my free time was 100% with DC - you are looking at:
£1,500 after school care per month from pick up until whenever I got home.
£400 per month - cleaner
Washing and ironing - dry cleaners collect and deliver back £100 per week. (Didn’t ever do this but did look into rates when I was KNaCKERED..
£40 per week tutor if I couldn’t be home to help with homework when older.
cooking included in above but was for nanny and DC - I made my own when I got in as she wasn’t looking after me.

He is getting all this for free as you are paying half to live in the house.

He is an absolute TWAT!

when ACTUALLY the OP is in fact, subsidising him!

my exH informed me in a fit of pique, that he could ‘get a housekeeper for what
I was costing him’ - then they wonder why loathing grows ha ha

sammyspoon · 28/02/2025 19:02

TurtleBarnacle · 28/02/2025 18:45

I may have just googled Marry Me Chicken. It looks lush!!

Edited for typo whilst tipsy... 😆

Edited

I know it looks lush! I'm going to be making it for the family in honour of OP. Here's a recipe I found www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/marry-me-chicken

MeganCarter · 28/02/2025 19:06

Dreamskies · 28/02/2025 14:41

Wow, this took a turn! I can’t wait to hear about him getting his comeuppance in the form of surprise divorce! Best of luck OP!

OP is now under the wing of the Mumsnet Amazons, we take no prisoners ha ha

AthenaPallas · 28/02/2025 19:14

Send him to play golf, and have a rootle through every letter/post of his, all documents etc. If you find any financial documents photograph them with your phone and send to the cloud. He may also have secret bank accounts.. if you can get into his computer or phone you might find stuff.
And when the divorce is underway, do not compromise on finances, fight for every penny if it comes to it.
And most of all - keep calm, get good representation and very best of luck to you,

MeganCarter · 28/02/2025 19:17

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/02/2025 15:22

I’m not suggesting you are drab. However, in your shoes, I would be spending a decent wodge of cash from the joint savings account on some new clothes, shoes, handbags, haircut etc. You’ll be doubling your money by doing that as the starting figure is 50/50 on divorce. And you’ll be able to use all of these to look fabulous after the split.

and in court ha ha
a black figure hugging suit, black pillbox hat with a half face veil a la Bette Davis,
high heels and scarlet lips, have some fun !!

yes spend some money, look fantastic, remember what Ivana bade us - Darling! - don’t get mad, get everything”

ChicaWowWow · 28/02/2025 19:36

Jessa85 · 28/02/2025 14:53

Ohh so much wonderful advice to catch up on later with a glass of wine! Ever so grateful for the continued support. I will read all the messages later but just quickly yes, I am concerned about the finances being hidden so may need to arrange for someone to help look into that.

I keep all our important docs in a filing cabinet which I’ve hidden the key for and will take all contents to my mums on Sunday. I don’t believe the jerk knows this cabinet exists since he has never stepped foot inside the utility room cleaning cupboard 😂

I’ve used a new email account to contact solicitors and all my important passwords and my phone passcode have been changed.

and most importantly, dinner tonight is ‘marry me’ chicken and I can’t bloody wait!!

Back later, school run time! I wish I could give you all a big hug!

Edited

Make sure you disable the email and text preview on your phone as if you receive a notification for an email from a solicitor or sth, he could potentially see a preview!
Good luck with everything!

mathanxiety · 28/02/2025 19:49

@Jessa85
Over the next few weeks, as you make your preparations, buy yourself some decent value gift cards to supermarkets and any other places where you buy necessities - Boots, filling stations if available, etc.

They may come in handy if your stbx decides to punish you financially in the course of the divorce.

mathanxiety · 28/02/2025 19:50

MeganCarter · 28/02/2025 18:34

do the CMS do any digging if the OP suggest he is stashing funds away? do they do this?

Show quote history

No, they dont.

alexdgr8 · 28/02/2025 19:51

Jessa85 · 28/02/2025 14:53

Ohh so much wonderful advice to catch up on later with a glass of wine! Ever so grateful for the continued support. I will read all the messages later but just quickly yes, I am concerned about the finances being hidden so may need to arrange for someone to help look into that.

I keep all our important docs in a filing cabinet which I’ve hidden the key for and will take all contents to my mums on Sunday. I don’t believe the jerk knows this cabinet exists since he has never stepped foot inside the utility room cleaning cupboard 😂

I’ve used a new email account to contact solicitors and all my important passwords and my phone passcode have been changed.

and most importantly, dinner tonight is ‘marry me’ chicken and I can’t bloody wait!!

Back later, school run time! I wish I could give you all a big hug!

Edited

It looks like regular marry me chicken
But only you know it is really
DIVORCE YOU chicken tonight.
You can smile to yourself as you contemplate this secret knowledge.

tattoonewbie · 28/02/2025 20:00

Sending OP strength. You can do this.

Omgblueskys · 28/02/2025 20:05

mathanxiety · 28/02/2025 19:50

No, they dont.

Show quote history

But divorce proceedings will, he will have to show his hand, bring it on

Strictlymad · 28/02/2025 20:22

Hope you find out where all that money is going. I can’t fathom men who squirrel money away from their kids lives

Trickedbyadoughnut · 28/02/2025 20:25

MeganCarter · 28/02/2025 18:40

@Jessa85 at some point over the weekend, many of us are going
to be making ‘marry me chicken’ in a MN gesture of solidarity ha ha

Show quote history

Yup, I had never heard of marry me chicken until the first thread and ending up making marry me tofu (I don't eat chicken) tonight. It was divine! I raised a glass to your health, OP, and to TwatHusband's comeuppance!

May your dinners be always delicious.

Cakeandusername · 28/02/2025 20:38

Also having marry me chicken tonight! You’ve started a trend.

HeyThere111 · 28/02/2025 20:55

You're doing the right thing OP. An army of supporters here to cheer you on

LaDamaDeElche · 28/02/2025 21:09

Just read your first thread and this. I’m so glad you’ve decided to leave him. He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t deserve you. You’ll thrive without him.

Original poster

Jessa85 · 28/02/2025 21:20

I hope everyone joining me and my girls for ‘marry me / divorce him / solidarity chicken’ tonight have enjoyed it as much as we have! Damn delicious!

Thank you for all the wonderful and supportive messages, I’ve read them all and noted down all the advice you’ve given me. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to reply to all the questions tonight. Going to focus on my girls this weekend and get back to you all on Monday. Wishing you all a wonderful weekend, Jessa xx

OP posts:

HeyDoodie · 28/02/2025 23:41

I have no advice, just pleased to hear you’re getting all your ducks in a row

LardoBurrows · 28/02/2025 23:57

Hope you and your girls have a fab weekend filled with lots of delicious meals.

Fraaances · 01/03/2025 02:21

After his comments to you about being drab and needing to get a better paying job, I am imagining that a hitman would be cheaper and much more satisfying. What an utter gnome of a man! You are so right that you are an object. Definitely need to find out what these investments are.
He lives alone in your family doesn’t he? You’re just the staff…

Codlingmoths · 01/03/2025 03:02

I would try and find out about the investments before telling him you would like it best if you never ever had to see or speak to him again.

SpideyVerse · 01/03/2025 07:09

Jessa85 · 28/02/2025 14:53

Ohh so much wonderful advice to catch up on later with a glass of wine! Ever so grateful for the continued support. I will read all the messages later but just quickly yes, I am concerned about the finances being hidden so may need to arrange for someone to help look into that.

I keep all our important docs in a filing cabinet which I’ve hidden the key for and will take all contents to my mums on Sunday. I don’t believe the jerk knows this cabinet exists since he has never stepped foot inside the utility room cleaning cupboard 😂

I’ve used a new email account to contact solicitors and all my important passwords and my phone passcode have been changed.

and most importantly, dinner tonight is ‘marry me’ chicken and I can’t bloody wait!!

Back later, school run time! I wish I could give you all a big hug!

Edited

....and also consider tidying+revising the email inbox Mumsnet updates come to. (and remember simply your Mumsnet username may be searched on if known or seen, identifying your threads) x

OhamIreally · 01/03/2025 07:35

Another willing you on. Have a great weekend. Your girls have a great mum.

HazelBite · 01/03/2025 07:49

Wow, have just read both threads, I think he has not realised that this is not the 1950 's.
He obviously has no idea how preposterous his attitude is. It would be amusing if the poor OP wasn't on the receiving end of it!

REignbow · 01/03/2025 11:45

Don’t blame yourself. You were the boiling frog.

Now your eyes have been opened, it’s now imperative to keep up the pretence, whilst you get your ducks in a row.

Sell things, get cash back/gift cards when you go to the supermarket. Snoop as much as you can.

FYI, you may need a forensic accountant in case he tries to hide assets etc.