Husbands food preferences driving me crazy - NEW THREAD

[Jessa85]

NEW THREAD for those following my thread from yesterday!

I will post the update of my conversation with my husband in a second.Original thread

Omg that drab comment … sorry I’m not dressed up like Marilyn Monroe while I’m cooking you your toddler dinner.

In a way he’s done you a favour by making things even more black and white with that ridiculous insult at the time he should have been grovelling.

I think you may have hit on a lovely new recipe - Divorce Me Chicken!

Make sure he can't see your internet workings.

Holy Fuck 😱😱

I have no more words. I'm so sorry OP

Just to say OP, I think you are brilliant.

You might have quite a few changes to make, but it does seem like you have your head screwed on, and in not too long you're going to be sooo much happier without having to look after this man child every day.

I just love the trajectory of your threads over the last couple of days, @Jessa85 - from ‘what food can I prepare for this man with a heart of gold?’ to ‘how have I not realised that I’ve sleepwalked myself into an abusive situation?’ (no shade - a lot of us have been there), to ‘fuck this shit, I’m out and he owes me’!

The energy of your last few posts is magnificent - like you’ve grown an invisible superhero cape and are on a mission to rescue yourself and your daughters.

Savour every bloody mouthful of your Divorce Him Chicken and have a great weekend x

Btw, if you think he’s really hiding savings and investments I’m pretty sure you can hire a forensic accountant who specialises in divorce to root out hidden assets. Not sure what the cost would be but you can probably search it and make enquiries.

Also, I’m sure this has already been mentioned, but make sure all your digital stuff is locked down - that you don’t have any shared email accounts or any other way he might access your phone/laptop etc. You don’t want to give him a heads up or any window into your plans at this point until you know where you stand with everything.

It’s a big advantage to be mentally ahead of him and to have established your legal position and financial entitlements before he realises what’s going on, because as soon as he does he’ll be scrabbling to put as much as possible out of your reach.

Obviously I am totally on your side, and you are doing the right thing- plan, plan and then act. Well done.

If you have a sad day, and you wonder where the lovely chap you knew went, consider this... not a justification, but an explanation... he has a spectacular lack of imagination about your life. He has literally not considered your pov. It's not been malicious, but careless.

Now, no one should be married to a careless man, and you deserve someone who does consider what your world is, just as you considered his.
But he's likely to be spectacularly dim about this rather than deliberately maltreating you. He's a self centred arse.

Wow. I am shocked at how this escalated but so glad he’s shown his true colours. You sound like you have your head screwed on and are planning to leave!! Best of luck to you and your girls bright future 🥰

Wow!

Don't second guess yourself now.

This man is nothing but a burden to you, a human leech. The gobsmacking emotional illiteracy and unadulterated misogyny of him...

Yes to all of this.

😂🙌🏼

You are amazing. Keep going.

He really is a financially abusive, selfish piece of shit.
Just wow.
Glad you're getting legal advice to find out how to get out. Forensic accountant may be needed.

Wow! I’ve only just discovered this and the last thread.
Leave that arsewipe and take him to the cleaners. It’ll be hard but the best for you and your girls in the long run.
For comparison our combined household income is about £70k, we have a cleaner as we both work full time.

What a wanker, I can not believe the audacity of this man Op, he doesn't see YOU at all, he sees his DW who does everything for him but not you as a person. I don't know which bit of your update was worst but the drab remark was bloody unkind and the excluding him from dinner made me choke on my tea - he thinks every tiny thing in the world is all about him.
Please go on posting @Jessa85 because I now really need to hear all about what happens next and I want to be a cheer leader at your divorce hearing😂There's been some shocking posts about DH on her but yours is mind turning

OP oh my goodness, well done you. There's a huge group of mner's cheering you on 😊 good luck xx

good idea - and if there is anything arrives you need to hide for the moment tuck it at the bottom of the laundry basket as 100% he won’t find it there lol

Also (from bitter experience here) do not tell anyone else of your intentions or plans!!!
especially your girls, but you will realise this - don’t be too chirpy, inadvertently giving yourself away - or at least making him wonder - your MN army is behind you !

do the CMS do any digging if the OP suggest he is stashing funds away? do they do this?

The way he speaks to you and holds you in such contempt is shocking.

You sound great OP - he's awful. I really hope you go through with divorce - men like this won't change, the misogyny is entrenched - it's in their DNA.

Just as a comparable - my dh of 20 years has fully supported me being a SAHM even now the dcs are all teens (I'm looking to get back to work but he supports me no matter what) he'd rather give me his last tenner than spend it on himself and he only ever compliments me. Has literally never said anything negative about my appearance in 20 years. When in the past I've had issues (usually over being tired when the dc's were younger and the upkeep of the house) he paid for a cleaner. There are good men out there who will want to be a team. Your dh isn't one of them.

@Jessa85 at some point over the weekend, many of us are going
to be making ‘marry me chicken’ in a MN gesture of solidarity ha ha

I may have just googled Marry Me Chicken. It looks lush!!

Edited for typo whilst tipsy... 😆

I know it might sound strange now but honestly OP, I'm so delighted for you. Can't wait until you're eating normal fucking food again and having time to yourself not looking after this manchild, wearing exactly whatever the fuck you want while he stays home with his flipping pasta he'll be making his own pasta for the 10th night running.

This fucker needs a cricket bat to the balls.

'is that why you look so drab?' I can't believe he actually said that. Does he have a death wish?

Bloody well done OP. I will be following your journey, cheering you on loudly ❤️