Husbands food preferences driving me crazy!

[Jessa85]

Sorry this got long! I'm struggling with my husband and the family meals I make.

He is incredibly fussy or particular... I don't know the best way to describe it so I'll list out what he won't eat -

• no creamy dishes - things like 'marry me' chicken or honey mustard chicken are a no no.
• no sour cream or mayonnaise - would simply refuse something like beef stroganoff
• no chunky vegetable dishes, no salads
• refuses to eat meals with pie or pastries
• won't eat fish
• no stews or soups - hates stews and soups are 'not a meal' apparently
• jacket potatoes will only eat with beans and must have meat on the side
• hates egg dishes so meals like quiche or omelette are out of the question

None of these preferences are allergy related.

We eat the same meals on repeat every week - some pasta variation, some curry variation, some meat and veg variation and I'm at my wits end, It's been 10 years and I'm bored of the same food. I'm craving something different but every time he will say - does it have XYZ in it? why is the veg all chunky? you know I don't like this sort of thing and so on. If he had it his way, we would BBQ meat every night and eat it with the same veg and some form of side dish.

I am a mum and work full-time, I am responsible for most of the housework and all the cooking. I really do not want to be cooking two separate meals everyday, I don't have the time or the energy for that.

I thought about asking him to cook his own meal but then I have the issue of our kids seeing us eating two different things and say well if daddy can have something different why can't I! Which will stress me out even more, I want them to eat a variety of food and not become so regimented like their father.

I really don't know what to do, I've spoken to him about it many times and he said 'I like what I like'... my reply was 'well what about what I like?' he told me I can always cook myself something different. Any advice appreciated, thank you.

UPDATE FROM OP ADDED BY MNHQ: Thank you for all the replies and for all the advice on food. The situation has escalated and I'll add updates on my relationship when possible for those interested in following along with me

I was wondering too @Jessa85 . Your story has stayed with me and I often check in to see if you and your girls are doing OK.

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I haven’t logged in for a while.

Things are going well, divorce is long but still progressing. I promise to update on that once its all settled.

The girls are enjoying the summer holidays, we’re having lots of fun. Thank you for checking in on us x

Hi Jessa,

I was thinking of you recently. How are you and your girls doing? Do they have any contact with their dad? How are you finding your new reality?

Lots of love ❤️

Hi Julietta,

Thank you for checking in with us, we’re doing really well thank you. Happy, thriving and in a much better place than I was in March.

The girls haven’t seen their father and I’ll be honest, we’ve settled into our routine and we’re happy, they’re doing incredibly well. I’ve really tried for them to have a relationship with him but he isn’t interested and even through everything I kept the contact open and nothing. His loss.

So now I’m just waiting on financial matters to be sorted and it’s complex but once that’s sorted I’ll be free.

xx

I'm so happy you're all doing so well. I hated the financial matters phase so you have my sympathy - but once that's done you'll feel such huge relief!

I'm very sad, though, that their father doesn't want to see his children. I have a complicated relationship with my children's father and he's a nightmare and it never ceases to amaze me how emotionally removed they seem to be able to be. My ex does see his children a lot, but parenting-wise he really does very little. It makes me so sad.

So glad you and the girls are in a good place, it really is his loss. Good luck with the final steps

Good to hear from you OP x

Your girls are lucky to have you and they will see it for what it is. He doesn't deserve the title Dad.

I do hope though that his parents are still maintaining a relationship with their GCs as the way you described it previously they did enjoy seeing them.

It's great to hear from you OP.

I remember the slow dawning of reality that you had. You have done well.

Thank you. Yes, shocking really that he is no contact. I don’t know how he does it but then he’s changed a lot since we first got together. At least the girls are happy and have one parent that would walk through fire for them xx

@Scottishskifun yes they still have a wonderful relationship with them. Regular FT and visits every month, we put in a lot of effort to maintain the contact despite the distance and situation xx

I am so glad you are doing well, all things considered.

The way these men just disappear from their children's lives, is outrageous. But it sounds like you're doing an amazing job! And I'm so pleased his parents are being good still. that can be such a tricky one to navigate.

I completely agree, my mind can’t comprehend it and yet here I am living with his choice.

It’s definitely been tricky and we’ve been lucky to find a good balance. I feel his handling of the whole situation has really helped their relationship with me, in the sense that he hasn’t been able to twist anything. We’re in the position now of being able to keep that separate, they show up for the girls and I keep them fully involved in their lives. They consistently show up for the girls and I hope that helps a little towards healing the hole left by their father.

OP - From my experience of watching my SIL attempt to navigate a situation where her ex is an erratic, unreliabnle, inconsistent presence in her children's lives, I can 100% say that you're probably right. My nephews are messed up by their dad's behaviour - is he going to turn up this week or not? We haven't seen him for 6 weeks but if we text him he won't respond. He called and I don't want to talk to him but then he shouts and we'll never see him again. He's here, but he's fighting with mummy and telling us awful things about her....

it goes on and on and on. I really believe they'd be better off if he just wasn't in the picture at all. Like your ex.

That sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to navigate and I’m sorry they’re going through that. You’re right, I often feel maybe it is better this way x

However, my husband is a nasty piece of work and simply replies that we're not eating tonight.

Why not just make him something different. Everyone doesn’t need the same meal

Read the whole thread before commenting

🤦🏼‍♀️

OFFS read the thread ....but anyway even if he was god's gift she's not a café he can cook himself.

😂 Hope you and your girls are doing ok @Jessa85 x

Someone is insanely late for the party 😅

I mean where do you even start with this... 🤔

You don't 😂. That way lies madness.

Thankfully he need never eat the same meal as the OP ever again.

We’re doing great ❤️ I’ve brought the girls abroad for the first time on my own.

Omg jess that's amazing, well deserved too, enjoy making happy memories with your girls 🎉