My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

[Emilia90]

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

Oh come ON. This must be a joke. Nobody can lack self-awareness to this extent.

So the new GF (Do you even have proof that he was cheating with her? Your TL doesn't make that clear) is an awful "tart", while you, who did exactly the same thing with the same man a few years ago, are somehow the wronged party?

Give me a flipping break. There are not enough eyerolls in existence.

Keeps flitting in and out of my head too

Well you can't say you didn't know what he was like. And why blame her?

He's a horrible man but it is not this other woman's fault OP. Find the best solicitor you can afford, and seek therapy if you can to help you through it. You'll get a lot of vitriol here but he is the one who did wrong to his first wife and now his second. No doubt they'll be more.

So he moved out in May 2024 and introduced the new woman to his parents in August that year? Yeah she definitely overlapped.

But surely you are divorced already? If not where have you been living since May 2024? Have you been still living alone in the marital home and paying the mortgage? Where was he?

Agree with this^^

You cannot steal someone's life or someone's "man" away. They go willingly.

Think back to when you were on the other side - did you steal him? No. He went of his own accord.

He sounds like a solid gold bellend of course for doing so, twice(!), but he did it of his own free will

I don't really want to get involved in this thread BUT see a solicitor. If you are in England/Wales, prenups aren't the be all and end all when it comes to the splitting of matrimonial assets. You have children and the court will have their interests at heart. "Needs" is the watch-word. See a solicitor. You won't end up with nothing, and he may have a hard lesson coming his way.

Now you know how his first wife felt.

Why did you think a man who would cheat on his wife would treat you any better?

OP, isn't she doing to you exactly the same thing you did to wife no1?

Or more accurately, your ex H is doing the same thing on repeat.

OP can’t have children. I am assuming they didn’t actually adopt. Otherwise she would have mentioned DC?

Because he lied to you about being with his his ex wife when you were first together, he had actually already cheated on you even before this new one. He was showing you exactly who he was. He will probably carry on doing this until he is too old and decrepit.

You married a scumbag knowing he was a scumbag. But now you're disappointed that he's turned out to be...a scumbag?

I read that they had decided to adopt as they had adopted, but I accept I could be wrong.

I’m still living at our house which he’s put up for sale. According to his parents he said he met her in July and fallen in love with her. His parents announced her pregnancy in January with a picture of all 4 of them

You knew he was married a few months into your relationship, but you stayed with him and married him anyway. You KNEW you were with a cheater, but it was ok because he was cheating on someone else. Now he's cheating on you and you're angry. No sympathy from me.

I just would you give her a piece of your mind? You're no better.. you also did dirty work.

You lie down with dogs you pick up flees, as they say.

Why did you marry him when you knew he was a cheat @Emilia90

This is called karma.

Feel sorry for his next victim, no doubt he will leave her too in due course. He's a serial shagger isn't he?

Get your CMS claim in and start a new life.

Because it's such a cliche.

Surely you're not surprised.

Better get to packing than whining about your cheating soon to be ex then.

I think you need to be thankful you didn't have any babies with him OP. He'll do the same to her and she'll be tied to him forever

@Emilia90 I know why he did this because he’s always wanted children and I couldn’t have any and his first wife didn’t want kids. Now he’s going to have a kid with someone that’s not me and it hurts like hell!!

If it makes you feel better she has a pre-nup too, and once he's paraded her big belly on social media, got some pats on his shoulder then the novelty will be over. He will find himself having to change nappies and deal with a large girl suffering from post natal depression so will soon start cheating on her with wife number 4. Now poor wife number 3 is tied to this ass-ole forever and you're nOT! Celebrate that and learn from mistake.

And don't sleep with a married man again.

If his new girlfriend is a tart for cheating with him, how do you refer to yourself?

Whilst the blame for breaking up two marriages lies mostly with the community dick who made marriage vows, you participated in the breaking up of marriage one, so have zero moral high ground now that someone else has played your part in marriage two.

He’ll hit the road as soon as his new supply’s attention is on a child and not him. I imagine his parents are supportive as they raised him to be a no good cheater and want at least to have access to their grandchild.

You weren’t the first, new girlfriend won’t be the last. You played a game of chance with a cheat and you lost. There’s really not much you can do.