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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 14/02/2025 15:33

ain't karma a bitch?

GretchenWienersHair · 14/02/2025 15:33

What’s the saying? “You lose them how you catch them”? Something like that.

caramac04 · 14/02/2025 15:33

It’s no more the new woman’s fault than it was yours.
He’s a serial shagger. Loves the chase but gets indigestion so wants something different.
you’re definitely better off without him.

penelopelondon · 14/02/2025 15:34

Who would have guessed that a man who cheated on his ex wife and lied to both would do the same thing?!

I'm shocked on your behalf because you're not.

cramptramp · 14/02/2025 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

OP posts:
2JFDIYOLO · 14/02/2025 15:34

Divorce him.

Put it down to experience.

And karma. You knew he was married - and still you went on.

At least you know now how the first wife felt, which will be good for you.

And can have a little consolation in that the current one will inevitably be in your shoes some day.

Original poster
Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ITS NOT A WIND UP!! ITS MY LIFE AND ITS REAL!! Why would this be a bloody wind up?

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 14/02/2025 15:36

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

What did you expect? How you get them is how you lose them. You are no better than the woman who replaced you. If I was his ex wife, I would be laughing like a loon that you have got your comeuppance.

Sunnydiary · 14/02/2025 15:36

TrainTicket · 14/02/2025 15:21

At least you now understand the horror of what you put another woman through now, hopefully you’ve learn your lesson not to be the “other woman” again. He showed you his morals before you married him but you married him anyway, that’s on you.
Also a lesson for mistresses that they aren’t as special as they think they are.

Quite. How come she’s a heartless tart who deserves a talking to, but you were just “following your heart “ or whatever drivel you told yourself?

Cop on mate, you have got your just desserts here.

TwistedWonder · 14/02/2025 15:37

So you married a lying cheating piece of shit knowing he was a lying cheating piece of shit and you’re now surprised that he’s exactly what he was from the start - a lying cheating piece of shit.

ACynicalDad · 14/02/2025 15:37

He'll probably move onto MK 4 in a few years - start up an ex-wives drinking club.

crumblingschools · 14/02/2025 15:37

But you did exactly the same as this woman. Why was it different when you did it?

TrainTicket · 14/02/2025 15:38

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

If he cheated to be with you, and then also made you sign a prenup before he married you, how on earth did you not see this coming?

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 14/02/2025 15:38

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:35

ITS NOT A WIND UP!! ITS MY LIFE AND ITS REAL!! Why would this be a bloody wind up?

Show quote history

Because it's hard to believe someone is lacking in this much self awareness... If this is true, you got played, just like his ex wife.
You didn't think about her when you were playing happy families, unfortunately he's just doing what he always did.

HelpMeGetThrough · 14/02/2025 15:39

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

I'd say the same was probably said about you.

Not much fun is it.

Toottooot · 14/02/2025 15:40

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:12

I’m not pregnant and can’t have children. He’s having a baby with his new tart of a girlfriend.

I know why he did this because he’s always wanted children and I couldn’t have any and his first wife didn’t want kids. Now he’s going to have a kid with someone that’s not me and it hurts like hell!!

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

BumpandBounce · 14/02/2025 15:40

Do you really not see the irony here, OP?!

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/02/2025 15:40

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

She isn't, he isn't a car or a wallet she can half inch, he's a person who has made his own decisions.

She's being conned, just as you were, just as the previous wife was, into believing that he loves her and truly means that, and intends to stay faithful to her, intends to provide the life he is undoubtedly wanging on about to her...

She will have fallen for the bullshit that he is deeply unhappy in his marriage, that its all falling apart and not his fault, poor him...

Just as you did in the past.

She's no more guilty of 'stealing' him from you than you are of 'stealing' him from his previous wife.

I understand that you're angry but directing it her will do you no good, its him you need to be angry with, and even then, it will do you no good, unless you can channel it into getting your fair share in the divorce!

Ponderingwindow · 14/02/2025 15:40

Suppose for a moment that she wasn’t pregnant and you convinced him to break it off with her and come back to her. You would never be able to trust him again.

people who forgive infidelity generally do it because they don’t want to break up a family with children. They know they will have to still coparent with the cheating spouse so they have to maintain a relationship of some kind anyway. It can be easier to simply find a way to stay together than to work together separately.

you don’t mention a successful adoption, so you can get a clean break from this man. You can move on with your life and never interact with him again.

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2025 15:40

That's sad.

This is a heck of a tantrum over a guy who dumped you 9 months ago for future ex#3.

You went into this with your eyes open. I bet you suspected he was married before he fessed up. You just thought you would be different than #1.

Thunderpants88 · 14/02/2025 15:40

Serves you right

GutsyGertrude · 14/02/2025 15:42

Sorry op, people should not be troll hunting as it is so hurtful when they do. The process is to report the thread to MNHQ if you have doubts.

Anyway, it is difficult to understand your anger op. I'm sure it is hurtful, but you do seem (and sorry, but trying to explain why people are being incredulous with you) extraordinarily lacking I'm self awareness if you think your rage is appropriate in the circumstances.

Fwiw, I would never tell anyone to confront their ex's new partner over infidelity, no matter how they got together with their now ex. Sounds like a recipe for disaster

ILoveMyCaravan · 14/02/2025 15:42

@Emilia90

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

She's really not. He is freely giving his life to her. It's not possible to "steal" someone.

Of course be angry with him, if it wasn't her it would be someone else. Please, for your own sake, direct your anger at the right person. Him!