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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
WhatFreshHellisThese · 14/02/2025 15:10

wizzywig · 14/02/2025 15:06

Wife no1 must be laughing at this spectacle

For sure. My 1st husband left me for someone else, got engaged to her before the divorce was through and then married her as soon as it was.

notacooldad · 14/02/2025 15:11

Why do you want to be with someone that doesnt want t be with you?
It doesn't make sense.

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.
😆 isn't that what you did to somebody? 🤔

Scrabbelator · 14/02/2025 15:11

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Just as you stole his first wife's life away from her...

Clarice99 · 14/02/2025 15:11

Why do you want to give her a piece of your mind? She's just a later version of you. The other woman.

This is a situation that's inevitable with a cheater. And, unfortunately for you, a case of 'you reap what you sow'.

PenneyFouryourthoughts · 14/02/2025 15:12

Whilst you are no angel, I think you STBXH is a waste of oxygen. Honestly, one day you'll look back on this and think you are well shot of him. What a shitbag.

notacooldad · 14/02/2025 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:12

Snorlaxo · 14/02/2025 15:09

You need to let it go.

If his ex wife had sent you a piece of your mind, would you have dumped him ? Probably not. It won’t help and will fuel the crazy ex narrative that he’s now pushing.

Im very sorry for you and your child 💐 and wish you both much future happiness.

I’m not pregnant and can’t have children. He’s having a baby with his new tart of a girlfriend.

I know why he did this because he’s always wanted children and I couldn’t have any and his first wife didn’t want kids. Now he’s going to have a kid with someone that’s not me and it hurts like hell!!

OP posts:
TwentyKittens · 14/02/2025 15:13

new tart of a girlfriend.

this must be a wind up, surely!!!

rubyslippers · 14/02/2025 15:14

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

No one can be this lacking in self awareness surely?!

CheshireCat1 · 14/02/2025 15:14

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Was his original wife angry with you for stealing her life?
I’m sorry that you’re going through this but you’ll soon realise that you’re better off without him.

HoppityBun · 14/02/2025 15:15

Clarice99 · 14/02/2025 15:11

Why do you want to give her a piece of your mind? She's just a later version of you. The other woman.

This is a situation that's inevitable with a cheater. And, unfortunately for you, a case of 'you reap what you sow'.

She isn’t, though. The OP didn’t know her STBXH was married. Unlike the new model, but like the previous wife, she can’t have children.

SardinesOnGingerbread · 14/02/2025 15:15

So, in essence, you're angry at a woman who behaves exactly as you do and feel that you are on the moral high ground to give her a piece of your mind. Your insight is shockingly poor.

I'm sorry that you're in pain and your life will be changing. I hope you can build on firmer ground next time. Irrespective of your own behaviour, no one would wish pain on you. Except, perhaps, wife no. 1.

Original poster
Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:15

It’s not a joke!! I’m genuinely being serious and I’m heart broken!!

OP posts:
DemonicCaveMaggot · 14/02/2025 15:15

She isn't taking your life away from you, he is. You should give a piece of your mind to him, not her.

What would have happened if his first wife had given you a piece of her mind? You would have thought she was demented. All you will do is make yourself look a fool and give him validation that he's married to an unhinged person and needs his mistress to rescue him.

It is horribly bitter for you and I am especially sorry that you want children and this has upset your adoption plans. That has to be heartbreaking.

REDB99 · 14/02/2025 15:15

You could have sent him packing when you found out he was married and you didn’t. It isn’t the new woman’s fault. It’s his. You knew what he was like but carried on anyway. I’m a firm believer in the man being held responsible for deciding to cheat, it’s not the other woman’s fault. You made a very clear choice to stay with him despite finding out about his lies. You don’t deserve to be cheated on, no one does, it causes huge hurt but if it hadn’t been this new woman it would have been someone else.

27pilates · 14/02/2025 15:15

Why aren't you angry at him OP? Why is all your anger directed at her?
He was the one married to YOU. He's a devious shit. Sooner you accept that, the better for your mental health.

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2025 15:15

"Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me."

Your life was built on your assumption that your husband wouldn't cheat on you like he did Wife #1. Bad assumption.

Are Wife #1's shoes pinching a bit?

ThejoyofNC · 14/02/2025 15:17

I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind
For doing exactly what you did?

his new tart of a girlfriend
If she's a tart then what are you?

TwentyKittens · 14/02/2025 15:17

HoppityBun · 14/02/2025 15:15

She isn’t, though. The OP didn’t know her STBXH was married. Unlike the new model, but like the previous wife, she can’t have children.

Show quote history

The new model may not have known either, until the bloke decided to trade in his current wife.

Starlight7080 · 14/02/2025 15:17

Karma...did his ex wife contact you?
Why would you trust someone who obviously so easily disregard his previous wife's feelings

cramptramp · 14/02/2025 15:18

Oh dear. What a shame.

SofaSpuds · 14/02/2025 15:19

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Hmmmmm - what goes around comes around?? Maybe!

.. I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind.. how would you have taken this if his first ex-W did this to you?

ColourBlueColourPurple · 14/02/2025 15:19

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

What is it she's stealing? A lying cheating selfish sack of shit with no morals or integrity?

And I must say, what goes around comes around. The hurt that you're feeling now is what you and him did to wife no 1.

Oioisavaloy27 · 14/02/2025 15:19

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

With all due respect your ex is the one with history for cheating, you don't know if he's told her that he was single. So if you want to have a go at anyone have a go at your ex.

Clarice99 · 14/02/2025 15:19

HoppityBun · 14/02/2025 15:15

She isn’t, though. The OP didn’t know her STBXH was married. Unlike the new model, but like the previous wife, she can’t have children.

Show quote history

She did know. Not immediately, but he confessed/came clean. It's in the opening post.

He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.
I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him,

At the point of him coming clean, the OP could have told him to 'do one' but she chose to continue with the relationship with a cheater.

A definite case of 'you reap what you sow'