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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
SunnyViper · 14/02/2025 15:54

OP you made some shit decisions that have come back to bite you. Own your part in this and move on……and don’t make the same mistakes again.

MaidOfSteel · 14/02/2025 15:54

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

You stole the first wife’s life, if we follow your logic.
He cheated on wife 1, he cheated on you and he will doubtless cheat on the new woman. If I were you, I’d be thankful to be rid of him, move on with life and look to meet someone better once I was ready.

TwistedWonder · 14/02/2025 15:54

Oh well play stupid games win stupid prizes and what a prize specimen he is

SuperTrooper14 · 14/02/2025 15:54

You are entitled to be upset and want support, but MN might not the best place for it. These boards are awash with women like ex-wife number 1, who was left for someone like you. Now you're on the receiving end of the same treatment and while it's horrible, I can't imagine you'll get much sympathy on here. Have you got IRL support you can lean on?

PandaTime · 14/02/2025 15:54

A cheater cheated? I'm shocked. SHOCKED.

madaboutpurple · 14/02/2025 15:55

I agree karma.

CleanShirt · 14/02/2025 15:56

Ahhh karma. Now you know how the first cheated on wife felt.

Fedupmumofadultsons · 14/02/2025 15:56

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Just like you stole someone's else's life and didn't give a shit you only reap what you sow .bet his first wife will be smiling to herself.

TipsyBlueOtter · 14/02/2025 15:57

On the offchance you're genuine

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else
Mrsttcno1 · 14/02/2025 15:57

You lose them how you get them OP, you were the “new tart” not so long ago, you have no moral highground here

CleanShirt · 14/02/2025 15:58

TipsyBlueOtter · 14/02/2025 15:57

On the offchance you're genuine

Brilliant!

SwerveCity · 14/02/2025 15:58

Bit harsh to the OP who says she didn’t know he was married for 7 months. He is the deceitful one here. I’m sorry op. That is really shitty. He will likely do the same thing to the new woman too.

BCSurvivor · 14/02/2025 15:58

OP, your husband was married when you met him.
When you found out you still carried on seeing him.
You married him, he's now cheating on you and you're surprised???

lovelydayIhave · 14/02/2025 15:59

TwentyKittens · 14/02/2025 15:10

I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

Get in touch with his first wife and ask her what she did when it happened to her?

Ouch!🥴🤣

ValentinesGranny · 14/02/2025 16:00

I'm sorry, but honestly, what did you expect? She won't listen so I'd save your breath.

friendlycat · 14/02/2025 16:00

He’s just not a nice man. He’s a liar and a cheat. His behaviour proves what he is.

Sadly you should have run a mile when he confessed to being married having lied to you before.

But this is who he is. You really can’t blame new girlfriend as you were that person previously.

Time to really move on and forge a new life.

sprigatito · 14/02/2025 16:00

So much spite and glee towards a heartbroken woman who has been lied to and used - and so little accountability for the misogynistic liar who goes through women like tissues. Lovely.

Ratisshortforratthew · 14/02/2025 16:01

I doubt this is real as it’s hard to believe someone lacks this much self awareness but you’re a complete hypocrite OP. I don’t believe in the stupid misogynist “stealing a man” narrative anyway - HE chose to cheat on you. You can’t steal a person, they’re not a Ken doll. He has control over his actions. His new woman is doing exactly the same as you did when he left his first wife for you. Why was it ok when it was you but not when it’s done to you? I understand you’re upset and this guy is a scumbag but you knew his history. You need to move on.

Rocknrollstar · 14/02/2025 16:01

Seek comfort in the fact that he will leave her as well. As I once said to a 13 yr old “she didn’t tie him up in chains, put him in a wheelbarrow and kidnap him”.

Birdie280125 · 14/02/2025 16:01

Prenuptial are rarely upheld in UK, you can still fuck him over.
The OW owes you nothing, concentrate your anger on him.

VintageFollie · 14/02/2025 16:01

the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media”
Do you think she even knows about you? He neglected to tell you he was married when he met you, so a good possibility he hasn't told her he's married either. At the end of the day, you really are better off without him. He's a compulsive cheat and liar.

Mumofoneandone · 14/02/2025 16:03

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:34

I have every reason to be angry! He’s acting as if he never loved me and now I’ve been blocked and the last thing he said to me was “remove all photos of us on your soical media” and the divorce papers will be soon be with you. We did a prenup so I won’t get anything so he’s basically fucked me over. And now he’s parading her around like a bloody trophy just because she’s pregnant

Get some legal advice, as not sure prenuptials are enforceable in the UK!

sesquipedalian · 14/02/2025 16:04

OP, what exactly are you looking for from posting here? You met a man who, after he had reeled you in, confessed he was married - at which point, you should have run for the hills and congratulated yourself on your lucky escape, because if he can do it to her, he’ll do it to you. You then got married, and he wanted children. Did you not discuss this before you were wed? At what point did you find out you couldn’t have children? How far along the adoption route had you got? Did you never discuss whether it would be a problem for him, not having his own biological children? You separated last May, so surely it was nothing short of inevitable that he would get together with someone else, which is what has happened - and she is now pregnant. Of course his family are delighted: most parents are when they’re about to become grandparents. Let us hope for the sake of his unborn child that he is a little more faithful to his present GF. If new GF met him after he had left you, what exactly are you going to give him a piece of your mind about? She would ignore it in any case, and it would allow him to say that you were always a bit unhinged. I’m sorry you’re feeling so bitter, but all you can do now is do now is to consult a solicitor, get the paperwork for your divorce in order, and move on with your life. I don’t doubt that you are feeling sorry for yourself about the turn of events, but you need to get over it - and next time, find a chap who isn’t already spoken for.

Elsvieta · 14/02/2025 16:04

Love how that second "unhappy" is in quotes... Unlike the first one.

Mizztikle · 14/02/2025 16:05

She's not the tart he is! she had no obligation to you, he did!
It sounds like you'd be happy if he left her and came back to you with the baby so you could play happy families.

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