My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

[Emilia90]

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

I’m not sure boasting about another woman’s infertility is the badass mic drop you seem to hope it is. It looks pretty grim from over here.

Yes. And then she said she needed four rounds of ivf so that made it ok to gloat about another woman’s infertility. If anything, that makes it worse!

Why does it?

Why a woman would stay with a guy who has lied to her for 6 months about being married baffles me. What baffles me even more is the fact she's all surprised now about the fact he's doing the same thing to her.

Op please don't say anything to the new woman. She is probably feeling like you did when you first got with him. It's hard because not many of us actively go out to meet married men, but it happens because they are experts of manipulation & are economical with the truth until you're sucked in. At the moment you are hurting, but it will pass. Concentrate on the amazing life that you will have moving forward.
I was in your position years ago & it wasn't until my stepdaughter told me how many times my exh had cheated on her Mum that the rose tinted came off. I was young & very nieve when I got with him & believed everything. I now look back ( 30 years later) and applaud his exw for her dignity. My exh is still woman hopping in his 60's. Our kids think he's a joke. He'll never change, as your ex won't. Sit back & watch, that will be your reward.
Meet up with friends & don't look back

As someone who was in the exact same situation as the first wife, I now laugh my pants off when I see him with toddlers, a bloated alcoholic face and a miserable wife, who is no longer looking like the trophy!
At the time, my life was broken too but I now feel like I've won the lottery! My kids are grown up, I can do whatever I want and I feel bloody wonderful.

Tough times ahead for you, but he's an arsehole and sadly you fell for his crap.

@TagSplashMaverick who knows if it's her with the issues or him. Weirdly enough l don't know and won't be contacting them to ask. He ended our marriage in a rather unpleasant way -trying to financially abuse me, saying he was going to marry her and have children with her etc. She knew who l was, we were mutual friends and she very much knew we were married. So l won't be pleasant about their issues and l will chuckle regularly about the way it panned out in the end. Karma is a bitch

For clarity me and husband 1 were single when we met. So it's not a twist on OP's story

oh you deserve everything you get. when he admitted he was married, you should have dumped him. now, you get to find out that you lose them how you found them. no sympathy here, next time you get hit on by a married man, send them on their way.

You lose 'em how you got 'em. But yes, its shit. Get as much as you can off him while he has a modicum of guilt left

Edited because the quoted post was edited.

How are people being spiteful or toxic to the OP? She's calling the mistress a tart and threatening to give her "a piece of my mind" for doing the exact same thing she did to his first wife! Of course people are calling out her hypocrisy.

I disagree with the posters who say this has to be a wind-up. Women who have sex with married men usually have extreme Main Character Syndrome. They see nothing wrong with him cheating on his wife, but are horrified when he cheats on them.

Some really awful people on here. So much spite and hate towards a woman who has been left because she can’t have children

I don't think people are taking the view that that's the reason she's been left. He's cheated because he's a cheat and left because he's a twat. The children side of things makes it extra painful for OP and she's seeing that as the reason he's gone and he may even say that, but his behaviour has been to lie and cheat from the start so it's not a failing on the OP's part to not give him children and I don't believe he'll be some prize for this new woman who is having his kid. Infertility is of course devastating for OP but that's not what people are responding to as there is clearly more to this and it's not helpful for OP to frame it that way, like he's some prince who deserves some heirs and is somehow justified in burning through women to get them. Her rage is directed at the wrong place.

Even when said woman doesn’t know about it until said man has left his ex wife??

That's not what happened, though. She stayed with him after he told her, and then he eventually divorced wife 1.

Said woman still stayed with him when she knew who he was and what he'd done. To believe that he'd be different with her is where the MCS comes in.

I stopped believing this when OP said the latest OW was stealing her life. Just doing what OP did to the first wife. Can anyone be that oblivious?

lol. Sorry, I meant the op. I don’t get how to quote or add quote yet. You’re very sane from your response. Again, my mistake, sorry.

So, let me get this right: A woman who found herself the OW years ago and now is herself being cheated on is not allowed to feel upset about it because she had a relationship with a man who manipulated her into the relationship in the first place? So women who were formerly the OW are not allowed to have feelings or need support? How does that work?

@ZebedeeDougalFlorence she found herself the OW and couldn't give a shit as carried on seeing the man and then married him. Bit tricky to be outraged with the next woman when you did the same thing.

She can be upset, but perhaps refraining from referring to her replacement as a 'tart' who stole her life might be apposite.

I agree with you on that.

Unfortunately, feelings are feelings. You don't have to sympathise, but she has the right to be upset, outraged even.

Them's the breaks... 🤷🏻‍♀️

What goes around comes around, you were happy to take him from his wife, you can't complain another woman is taking him! It serves you right!! Karma
There is a good saying 'marry the mistress it leaves a vacancy '