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Original poster

My soon to be ex husband left his ex wife for me! And now he’s leaving me for someone else

477 replies

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 14:58

2016 I met my soon to be ex husband on a night out and at that time I didn’t know he was married. He kept it well hidden for at least 6/7 months, until he came clean and told me everything and how he was unhappy.

I was so much in love with him at that time and forgave him, they got a divorce and we moved on with our lives. Fast forward to 2020 we got married and I found out I couldn’t have children so we decided we would adopt. Everything was going fine and we were happy so I thought, didn’t suspect anything from him because after all I forgave him and did trust him. That was my biggest mistake

2024 May he came home and told me how “unhappy” he was and wanted a divorce. My heart sank to my stomach and I begged him to not leave and will go marriage counseling. He refused and packed his things and left the house, I found out in August 2024 that he “introduced” his new girlfriend to his parents and apparently they said that if he’s happy then we’re happy for him. They never liked me and took him ages to introduce me to his parents even after his first divorce, I didn’t even meet them until a year later. I’m so stupid for thinking I could trust him.

And now she’s pregnant and he’s gone and moved in with her :-( and I want to message her and give her a piece of my mind but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this man too much and can’t move on from him I worked too hard for our relationship and marriage to work. What do I do ?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 14/02/2025 19:11

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steff13 · 14/02/2025 19:12

You said he left you in May 2024 and met her in July 2024. How is he leaving you for her? He had already told you he wanted a divorce 2 months prior to meeting her.

AuntieMatter · 14/02/2025 19:15

Sorry you are going through this. You may have made mistakes in the past, but you are entitled to be hurt.
He's a cunt. He's not in your corner in any way. Get a lawyer instead of assuming what you are and aren't due to get.

treesandsun · 14/02/2025 19:17

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Do you feel you stole the first wife's life from her? You claim to be an innocent dupe in the ending of his first marriage but assume wife to be no 3 is some how the scarlett woman who is to blame for his continuing shitty behaviour.

mathanxiety · 14/02/2025 19:18

You know what they say - marry a cheater, create a vacancy...

There is no need to give the new woman a piece of your mind. She'll find out the sort of man he is the hard way, in about four years. Or perhaps sooner, since she's having a baby.

mathanxiety · 14/02/2025 19:20

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:12

I’m not pregnant and can’t have children. He’s having a baby with his new tart of a girlfriend.

I know why he did this because he’s always wanted children and I couldn’t have any and his first wife didn’t want kids. Now he’s going to have a kid with someone that’s not me and it hurts like hell!!

Show quote history

No, he did this because he's a serial cheater, and the woman having his baby won't be the last.

Loveanewusername · 14/02/2025 19:24

if only you could have seen this coming

Derbee · 14/02/2025 19:25

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:12

I’m not pregnant and can’t have children. He’s having a baby with his new tart of a girlfriend.

I know why he did this because he’s always wanted children and I couldn’t have any and his first wife didn’t want kids. Now he’s going to have a kid with someone that’s not me and it hurts like hell!!

Show quote history

This is hilarious. She’s a tart, because she’s had an affair with a married man. But you’re not?

Im sure this is a windup, but I do love how often karma genuinely comes around in these situations.

PanettoneSoprano · 14/02/2025 19:26

OP you had my sympathy until you called the other woman a tart. Not cool!

You need to hurry up and get divorced, develop some self awareness and move on. And stop stalking him on social media.

Channellingsophistication · 14/02/2025 19:38

I know it’s utterly devastating when you get dumped for someone who can have a baby. It happened to me - me and ex-h had been trying ivf with no luck but he had a baby with the OW!

Your ex is the one at fault here, not her just like when he was with his ex-wife it wasn’t your fault. Be angry at him. In reality in time, he will do the same to her.

Your best bet is to focus your efforts in getting a good solicitor and find out what you will be entitled to.

Horationor · 14/02/2025 19:40

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

And you stole his first wife's life away...

What goes around comes around.

I can find little sympathy

ObviouslyBlooming · 14/02/2025 19:42

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

So, when you went out with this man, who then became your dh, and you didn’t know he was married, did you wilfully take him away from his wife or did you just fall in love with him and believed him? That he was unhappy etc….

Im pretty sure that the second option. You didn’t set off trying to pinch someone else partner,

Im pretty sure she didn’t either.
But he lied to her, just like he did with you.
He told her how unhappy he was. Maybe he said he is devastated to not been able yo have children etc etc….

Basically you have no idea what he told her.

Bring angry is normal. But be angry at him. Him for lying to you and his ex. Him for being able to just switch partner wo a backward glance. Him fur being an unreliable twat.
And pity her. Because if he has done that twice, dropped his partner with no warning sign, he is very likeky to do it again. But she’ll have a child to deal with too.

Elasticatedtrousers · 14/02/2025 19:45

IF this is real... He was likely to cheat again. You thought you were special. You weren't.

You've been taught a very valuable lesson about men, my suggestion would be get some therapy work out why you settled for a cheat, liar and abuser (cheating is abusive) and move on.

He will likely cheat again, it's not her fault, he's just nasty.

MumWifeOther · 14/02/2025 19:46

You didn’t know about his ex wife, so don’t assume she knew about you.. very likely he did the same thing to her. The saying goes you lose them how you find them 😕

MaybeItWasMe · 14/02/2025 19:48

You think that this woman has stolen your life…

Can you really not see the irony of that statement?!

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 14/02/2025 19:58

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housemaus · 14/02/2025 20:02

Surely nobody is this lacking in self awareness?

Yes, it's horrible and awful and cruel. But you did the same to his ex, so you can neither be surprised nor take the moral high ground. Even if you didn't know at first, you 'forgave' him and carried things on, knowing full well what he was like.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 14/02/2025 20:02

LegallyBlondish · 14/02/2025 15:46

I don't really want to get involved in this thread BUT see a solicitor. If you are in England/Wales, prenups aren't the be all and end all when it comes to the splitting of matrimonial assets. You have children and the court will have their interests at heart. "Needs" is the watch-word. See a solicitor. You won't end up with nothing, and he may have a hard lesson coming his way.

They don't have children. They were married for 5 years. Why should she get anything?

Whatatodo79 · 14/02/2025 20:07

Emilia90 · 14/02/2025 15:07

Because I’m angry that he’s leaving me for her! She’s stealing my life away from me.

Show quote history

Nope. He's leaving you for her. Did you adopt in the end? I hope the kids are ok if so.

CaroIus · 14/02/2025 20:09

There’s a bang of “but I didn’t expect the leopard to eat my face” off of this.

mumda · 14/02/2025 20:17

She's stolen nothing worth having.

He did it to his first wife. He's doing it to his second and he'll do it again.

He's not worth the effort.

Get divorced and be a more vigilant person.

WillIEverBeOk · 14/02/2025 20:18

OP you are going to have people saying horrible things to you. But I understand you. On several levels. I won't get into my life, but I understand you, more than I can say. And I am so sorry you are going through this. There isn't much advice I can give you, as I am suffering too. But I just wanted to show you some love and support and give you a hand hold and a hug. I am so sorry and my thoughts are with you. Now eat some cake or ice cream (or both). Eat a LOT of it. Not that it can take away the pain, but its yummy and it might help. CakeCakeCake

caffelattetogo · 14/02/2025 20:18

What happened to the child/ren you adopted?

WillIEverBeOk · 14/02/2025 20:21

caffelattetogo · 14/02/2025 20:18

What happened to the child/ren you adopted?

Read all her posts on this thread (there are only 8). "we both agreed we’d adopt, unfortunately we didn’t get far into the adoption process"

Gettingbysomehow · 14/02/2025 20:26

Men like this will do this over and over again. They are born liars. I'll bet he will dump her and the baby as soon as he finds out how tough being a parent is and she'll be a dingle mum. She's done nothing. He will have lied and lied to her. Your anger should be directed totally towards him.
Move on and be more choosy next time. You never had a life with him, it was all a lie.