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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boyfriend said my vagina scares him ??

312 replies

Meeemeee88 · 12/02/2025 12:05

I feel really upset over this and it’s stupid I know . But basically I’ve had three babies ( including one with said partner ) I’ve suffered from terrible self confidence issues regarding my lady part ( have a slight prolapse and obviously it’s changed a lot since births etc like no matter how much I do pelvic floors it makes no difference) so I feel like it’s horrible and there’s not much I can do about it , HE KNOWS all this . Anyway while I was in hospital last week my partner out of nowhere just said “ my vagina scares him !??” What the hell does that mean ? He wouldn’t elaborate just said it’s MEATY !?? Wtf . I’m now really annoyed to the point I don’t even want him to touch me now . AIBU ???

OP posts:
PinkArt · 12/02/2025 18:36

dawngreen · 12/02/2025 15:48

His dad has cancer for a start!

When my mum was dying of cancer I somehow managed to avoid making deeply offensive and bigoted comments about people I love.

ItGhoul · 12/02/2025 18:37

dawngreen · 12/02/2025 15:50

He won't be thinking straight, and fella's talk before engaging brains!

No, most ‘fellas’ are perfectly capable of engaging their brains. You need to raise your bar if this is your standard for men. And if you think having a terminally ill parent somehow induces anyone to make an insulting comment about his partner’s genitals, you’re mad.

Treeinthesky · 12/02/2025 18:51

People saying why doesn't she live with him. Honestly it is so much better living apart!!!! Omg i really wished I had done this sooner. Divorced due to issues. However I swear we wouldn't have split if we had lived separately. Me and my current partner lived together however it wasn't working so he had recently got a flat. It so much better!!!

GOODforyourhealth · 12/02/2025 18:54

PinkArt · 12/02/2025 18:36

When my mum was dying of cancer I somehow managed to avoid making deeply offensive and bigoted comments about people I love.

Exactly, and if anything the situation should make him see even more that life is too short to be a complete prick.

MyJoyousKoala · 12/02/2025 18:58

Oops wrong post

OogieBoogiO · 12/02/2025 18:59

Actually, isn’t this the issue, that loads of us (men and women) DON’T know what the female anatomy looks like or changes.

I mean, I’ve never inspected other women’s vaginas. And my own, I have a vague idea of the outside, but the inside … don’t really want to know honestly.

It doesn’t sounds like a very mature guy, but I would try to not worry. Vaginas can look pretty odd. Anything new you need to get used to so give both of you some time.

CatchHimDerry · 12/02/2025 19:15

He’d be in the bin for this 🗑️

I can’t comprehend birthing a man’s child to then receive that sort of comment. Nope

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 19:19

Shmee1988 · 12/02/2025 17:33

Fair enough. I understand he could of been more gentle but at least she knows the truth now. I'd always rather that than have someone lie to spare my feelings.

But how does that change anything?

Her vagina is the way it is.

So letting her know that’s why he won’t sleep with her?

She can’t change so the relationship is over.

Why not just split up? Why be cruel when it serves no point other than to make OP feel bad about herself?

oakleaffy · 12/02/2025 19:21

GOODforyourhealth · 12/02/2025 18:14

Yes, tell him this is what will happen, should he ever try to enter it again! 😂

Vagina dentata...I asked my dog to imitate one..she pulled this face

My boyfriend said my vagina scares him ??
Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 19:22

OogieBoogiO · 12/02/2025 18:59

Actually, isn’t this the issue, that loads of us (men and women) DON’T know what the female anatomy looks like or changes.

I mean, I’ve never inspected other women’s vaginas. And my own, I have a vague idea of the outside, but the inside … don’t really want to know honestly.

It doesn’t sounds like a very mature guy, but I would try to not worry. Vaginas can look pretty odd. Anything new you need to get used to so give both of you some time.

Her vagina didn’t grow a head over night.

What is to get used to?

I’ve personally seen many different kinds in sexual relationships and they are all beautiful.

oakleaffy · 12/02/2025 19:28

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 12/02/2025 19:19

But how does that change anything?

Her vagina is the way it is.

So letting her know that’s why he won’t sleep with her?

She can’t change so the relationship is over.

Why not just split up? Why be cruel when it serves no point other than to make OP feel bad about herself?

As others have said, it's probably due to him looking at too much porn.
Surgically altered genitalia - I saw an old 'Taschen' book, ''Forbidden Erotica'' which shows 19th Century porn photos 1880's up to the 1940's - believe me, the genitalia there, both men and women's are vastly different to modern day imagery.
Much more natural.

https://www.taschen.com/en/books/sex/49317/forbidden-erotica/

menopausalfart · 12/02/2025 19:40

It sounds as if he's been looking at too many designer vaginas. What a tosser.

Brinkley22 · 12/02/2025 19:53

my vagina has changed massively as a result of PUSHING TWO BABIES OUT of it! !

I have a prolapse and it’s definitely all looser in there!

And I am so fucking proud of my body. It has birthed me two incredible people!

You’ve birthed FOUR BABIES (in whatever way they were born)! What a wonderful body you have.

SecondMrsTanqueray · 12/02/2025 19:53

Unless he has some sort of camera probe, he really doesn’t know what the inside of a vagina looks like. Is he trying to clumsily say your prolapse is bothering him?

Branleuse · 12/02/2025 20:02

Wtf is wrong with him?
What a pathetic thing to say.

Justgorgeous · 12/02/2025 20:05

No man should comment on anyone’s vagina! Should be happy to be there.

OctoberandApril · 12/02/2025 20:06

Meeemeee88 · 12/02/2025 12:05

I feel really upset over this and it’s stupid I know . But basically I’ve had three babies ( including one with said partner ) I’ve suffered from terrible self confidence issues regarding my lady part ( have a slight prolapse and obviously it’s changed a lot since births etc like no matter how much I do pelvic floors it makes no difference) so I feel like it’s horrible and there’s not much I can do about it , HE KNOWS all this . Anyway while I was in hospital last week my partner out of nowhere just said “ my vagina scares him !??” What the hell does that mean ? He wouldn’t elaborate just said it’s MEATY !?? Wtf . I’m now really annoyed to the point I don’t even want him to touch me now . AIBU ???

Why were you in hospital last week?

TheseCalmSeas · 12/02/2025 20:08

Meeemeee88 · 12/02/2025 14:42

Yes I know . I actually do have another baby with another man on top of my 3 children . I didn’t want to give exact details on things to full extent in case someone I knew saw my posts . My current partner is extremely private about things . He would go absolutely nuts if he knew I was posting my personal life on here

Dump him.

He’s another baby

AfraidToRun · 12/02/2025 20:11

Access to a vagina is a fucking privilege! Men are so damn idiotic sometimes.

DisabledDemon · 12/02/2025 20:17

Sorry about his father but not your problem.

Eradicate him from your life ASAP.

GiddyRobin · 12/02/2025 20:24

OP, I'm married to a man but as a bisexual woman have seen many vulvas in my time, pre-marriage. They're all different, none of them scary, and they were all attached to women I cared about which made them fucking glorious in my eyes.

His comment is repugnant. Absolutely porn-addled, misogynistic moron.

OctoberandApril · 12/02/2025 20:32

Why won't the OP say why she was in hospital? Is she fixing the little prolapse?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 20:51

MyJoyousKoala · 12/02/2025 18:58

Oops wrong post

Edited

FWIW, sorry you are going through that. 💐

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/02/2025 20:53

PinkArt · 12/02/2025 18:36

When my mum was dying of cancer I somehow managed to avoid making deeply offensive and bigoted comments about people I love.

@dawngreen
What will be his next excuse for poor treatment? What if he gets violent? What will his excuse be then? 🤔

cannaecookrisotto · 12/02/2025 21:00

What's the relationship like as a whole?

If my DP of 16 years said this, it would be water off a ducks back because we often make jokes like this, we have that sense of humour with each other. He knows he's a lucky fucker to even get a whiff of my fanny so this would skim off me easily, he makes me feel awesome every day, even with my flappy vag. So I'd tell him to fuck off with his micro-penis and then we'd be looking for something to watch on tv.

But for you to make this post, and feel insecure about it, he's obviously not good for your self-esteem and you deserve more out of your relationship. It sounds like he's said it just to be a massive twat, and purposely make you feel bad about yourself.

So yes, LTB does sound extreme but it depends on your dynamic as a whole. For me, this would be a silly joke. For you, this could be a sign to put this one in the bin and find someone who loves your vageen, in all its glory!!!