DH won’t stop touching me

[BakeSaleTomorrow]

It’s constant! His main thing is smoothing my arms - from my wrist to the top of my arm. He does this all the time, when I’m cooking, holding a kettle of boiling water (!) washing up or working. It’s extremely irritating, he can’t walk past me without touching a part of me but it’s the arm smoothing that’s giving me the ick! I’ve told him to get off, especially when I’m busy or holding boiling stuff but he keeps doing it and sulks saying that he can’t touch his own wife etc.

There’s much groping too, boob grabs and general groping when I walk past him, sleazy comments too about my …you can guess! Again I tell him no but he continues. It’s the arm thing that I find the most irritating as it’s constant.

Mine does this and it's annoying af but I don't think he realises he's doing it, he's far more of a touchy feely person than me because he was raised in that kind of family.

But he certainly doesn't make the comments yours does, which are honestly terrifying.

It's like a dog pissing to mark its turf. Perhaps you could suggest a brand or a tattoo on your forehead that you belong to him... would that help his insecurity?

Hes actually abusing and sexually assaulting you by groping you when you’ve said no.

Oh god OP you need an exit plan from your grim marriage.

How long has this been happening?

It must be either a new thing or you used to be ok with it but now you’re not.

Just kick him in the fucking balls.

Mine does the same but touches my bum and it makes me jump sometimes. Drives me mad I hate it!

My OH hates being lightly touched; shudders and has to be scratched if it happens. ND thing I guess.

Seriously @BakeSaleTomorrow, how are you still married to him?

He's disgusting. Don't stay married to an abusive twat like that.

Abusive men do this to humiliate you and degrade you. Your marriage won’t survive this abuse and nor should it.

You should seperate. Does he molest you when you’re sleeping too?

We sleep separately thankfully.

It’s weird. Some touching I love like I enjoy an Indian head massage or having my hair played with. I do like being stroked but when I request it, not constant unwanted stroking and touching. I have to rub my arm after his touch as I just can’t stand it.

Maybe wearing this will help until he learns?

he keeps doing it and sulks

He also says things like “You are mine” “I own this arm” etc.

There’s much groping too, boob grabs and general groping when I walk past him, sleazy comments too about my …you can guess! Again I tell him no but he continues. It’s the arm thing that I find the most irritating as it’s constant.

Do you understand that he is a sex offender? You've said no, he carries on. It's crystal clear he's sexually assaulting you and has told you he won't stop.

Divorce him.

Touching you while you’re handling hot things is really worrying. He’s doing this to dominate you and to scare you. He doesn’t care you might get hurt. Does he ever do this in front of other people?

There is no conversation you can have that will make him stop. Nothing will make him stop. He is sexually and physically abusive. Is he verbally or financially abusive as well?

You need to get away from him.

This just grimmer with every update. You've told him you don't like it, you've told him to stop. He is completely ignoring that. At this point he is abusing you. Does he realise that? Do you? I would certainly tell him. And then I'd make plans to leave.

What support do you have op?

Apart from anything else, this is an awful dynamic for your DS to witness. Do you want him to become an adult who thinks that women don't have a say in who touches them?

Her son has already spoke up for mum saying it's not ok.
The teen boy has the makings of being a decent man unlike his dad.

He's assaulting you. It's illegal. Your child knows this. How fucking disturbing for him to have to witness as well.

I hope you have a lock on your door at night.

Please get advice from a domestic abuse charity or a police specialist officer, and tell him to leave and you're getting a divorce.

As his possession he doesn't believe you'll ever do this.

He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive in the past - it was at its worst when I was pregnant and when the children were very young, he’s calmer now appears to be more “reasonable” He admits that he was “crazy” in the past.

He makes jokes that I’m his “possession”

OP, it sounds like your DH has developed OCD about this, or he's goading you into a blind rage reaction. Either way he's playing with fire, I feel annoyed on your behalf.