DH won’t stop touching me

[BakeSaleTomorrow]

It’s constant! His main thing is smoothing my arms - from my wrist to the top of my arm. He does this all the time, when I’m cooking, holding a kettle of boiling water (!) washing up or working. It’s extremely irritating, he can’t walk past me without touching a part of me but it’s the arm smoothing that’s giving me the ick! I’ve told him to get off, especially when I’m busy or holding boiling stuff but he keeps doing it and sulks saying that he can’t touch his own wife etc.

Not a teen, it was our toddler.

Why does that matter? Op needs out regardless of the age of her children.

WTAF! If you've read all OP's posts and still posted this dangerous drivel, you're deliberately making excuses for a sex offender.

If you haven't read all her posts, go back and do so and you will realise that romance is the last thing on OP's DH's mind.

Yeah it’s literally whenever he walks past me no matter what I’m doing, has to touch my arm. The issue is that he knows I hate it, especially when I’m holding boiling water or filling in an important form etc. It’s the sulking afterwards - I’m not allowed to touch my own wife etc.

The fucker is doing it BECAUSE you hate it I think.

Is there any way you can get out of this abusive relationship? What's stopping you?

Yeah it’s beliefs like this that have made me doubt his behaviour for so long, it’s just romantic, I’m lucky that he wants to touch me all the time, it’s my fault, I’m too uptight etc. I do see it for what it is now. It’s difficult as obviously he’s not horrible all the time, he can be nice and normal and he’s very generous with gifts, present buying, it can make me doubt what’s happening.

"Get off" conveys all the necessary information clearly and succinctly. What does the man need, an essay?

I have been putting together some money, I started doing this when our oldest was a baby. It speaks volumes really. But family was always so important to me, to keep us all together but I know now I need to leave. I wish I didn’t feel so guilty, I will talk to WA again and discuss my options.

No-one is horrible ALL the time - Hitler loved his dog Blondie (until he tested poison on her).

Not being an absolute cunt all the time is not nearly good enough. Buying gifts and paying bills does not give permission to hurt you physically or emotionally.

He sees you as a possession not a person with your own rights. When he touches you like this he's marking his territory. Like a dog pisses on every lamppost it passes.

He's not doing it to show Affection - rather the opposite.

Sorry, I’m working my way through all the replies. I do work, I’ve fought to keep my job as DH always put pressure on for me not to work. We are ok-ish financially but money will be tight as a single parent. I don’t have a big support network, one friend knows about his behaviour and I’m very close to my parents. My parents have a lot going on themselves and they are elderly with health difficulties. They won’t be able to do much to help me practically but I’ll be grateful of any emotional support. I feel very guilty though as they paid for our wedding and I don’t want to stress them out.

OP, two or three PPs have asked how much you have sex but you have not answered. Maybe separate beds and his words 'frigid' and 'not allowed to touch' suggest it's never. Is he perhaps dealing (in the wrong way) with the loss of his sex life?

Please get out OP, you've obviously been having doubts for a long time. Everyone here will handhold and help you find the courage to leave. Remember you have an army of women at your back willing you to get out. You can do this, confide in your mother she sounds like she has the measure of him. Keep coming back here if you have a wobble you will find support. Contact WA again today if you can do so safely.

Very rarely, if at all.

@BrickBiscuit he has called her his possession and is unable to not touch her, he groped her violently when she was recovering from birth this is not a man "not coping" this is a sadistic bastard who gets his kicks out of control and fear.

Possibly once every few months. We do have a stressful life in other ways which I won’t go into a huge amount of detail about, messy house, life admin, sex isn’t always in the front of my mind. It’s not necessary always about him but obviously his behaviour hasn’t helped, sometimes I’m just knackered and just want to be left alone.

Yes, we know. How does that relate to my question?

We have two children. Only one of my friends is aware, I can’t tell too many people as it’s too risky that stuff would get back to him. Yeah the teen is aware.

That’s how abusers keep you reeled in. They switch their behaviour and treat you well some of the time to get you confused and to doubt yourself.

But the nice guy side is his act. The nasty manipulative controlling sexually assaulting bully is who he is - the hearts and flowers guy is because if he abused you 100% of the time you’d have been gone years ago. They throw you enough crumbs to keep you - it’s a power trip