Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Slept with the lodger - what the hell now?

439 replies

Idiotcentral · 20/01/2025 10:04

Moved a man into my spare room a few months back. He is a family friend although I had not met him till last Oct. He is 10 years my junior, very likeable, we get along really well. As friends. Or so I thought till last night after waaaaaaaaaay too many drinks he pretty much kissed me and I did not object, we ended up in bed together. I am a single parent to a child who is thankfully in school today and no wiser as to what happened. It has not been awkward but it is NOT going to be a relationship. I do not want one and especially not with him however his lease agreement is in place and as he is not from the same country as I am and knows nobody else here he wont be looking to move out. He made a quip this morning before going to work about us being 'friends with benefits' but I have never done that before and not comfortable with that arrangement anyway especially with my teenaged child here but what do I do? Obviously discussing it with him is the right thing but we are both single, clearly attracted to each other and really do get along so well but shit we have now had sex. I dont know what to do from here. Bloody stupidity. Actually really annoyed with myself this morning.

OP posts:
Safxxx · 25/01/2025 13:15

CaptainMyCaptain · 25/01/2025 13:01

The OP hasn't got a daughter.

Yes I've cleared that up in my comment above 👍

Missj25 · 25/01/2025 14:28

🤩🤩
Good for you OP 🙌
You sure do only live once, & besides , I think it all sounds lovely , not just fun tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️…
Enjoy it all , wish it was my sat morning,
Work is Crazy !!!!!🙈
X

HelmholtzWatson · 26/01/2025 05:49

This is all starting to sound a bit Mills and Boone, but I'm here for it nonetheless!

Mush62 · 26/01/2025 12:36

Missj25 · 25/01/2025 14:28

🤩🤩
Good for you OP 🙌
You sure do only live once, & besides , I think it all sounds lovely , not just fun tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️…
Enjoy it all , wish it was my sat morning,
Work is Crazy !!!!!🙈
X

No idea what Mills and Boone is?

Munchyseeds2 · 26/01/2025 12:59

Have fun, he sounds lovely, no reason why it can't last.

Not all men want children

Idiotcentral · 26/01/2025 18:42

So the update is that we went out for dinner last night, 4 of us. My son told my lodger yesterday he had a girlfriend that I was unaware of and lodger said how about I book a table for dinner and you can introduce her to your mom. So last night was a very unexpected night where I met my sons girlfriend of a few months and myself and lodger acted very much like we have from the start in front of both. Lodger did not drink, drove the girlfriend home in fact and when he and my son came home we all just watched a movie and went to bed. Separate beds. It was not the time to take over my sons first introduction with talking about me and lodger so that is for another day. Today myself and lodger just hung out at home and did some lego - yes that is right adults do lego - late lunch with my son and now we have gone off to our own bedrooms to chill out. Not sure if son suspects anything but if he does he has no objection clearly. I want to take things as slow as we possibly can under one roof so that is why we are taking time away from each other this evening to keep some perspective. If we were jst dating normally we would not be together all the time so this makes sense to us.

OP posts:
Dexysmidnightstroller · 26/01/2025 18:45

Idiotcentral · 26/01/2025 18:42

So the update is that we went out for dinner last night, 4 of us. My son told my lodger yesterday he had a girlfriend that I was unaware of and lodger said how about I book a table for dinner and you can introduce her to your mom. So last night was a very unexpected night where I met my sons girlfriend of a few months and myself and lodger acted very much like we have from the start in front of both. Lodger did not drink, drove the girlfriend home in fact and when he and my son came home we all just watched a movie and went to bed. Separate beds. It was not the time to take over my sons first introduction with talking about me and lodger so that is for another day. Today myself and lodger just hung out at home and did some lego - yes that is right adults do lego - late lunch with my son and now we have gone off to our own bedrooms to chill out. Not sure if son suspects anything but if he does he has no objection clearly. I want to take things as slow as we possibly can under one roof so that is why we are taking time away from each other this evening to keep some perspective. If we were jst dating normally we would not be together all the time so this makes sense to us.

All sounds sensible and under control - and these little enforced breaks will mean you will go at it like rabbits when you get the chance 😂

Idiotcentral · 26/01/2025 18:52

Another reason i am in my bedroom alone because I could have done very very bad things to him earlier today. VERY bad. He is good for my loins if nothing else ;)

OP posts:
crockofshite · 26/01/2025 19:27

Your lodger sounds like a gem ! Really decent guy.

StrikeForever · 26/01/2025 19:45

@Idiotcentral that all sounds great. It’s good to hear that you are more relaxed about things now, because this potential relationship sounds rather nice 🙂

My husband and I do Lego too 😀

Missj25 · 26/01/2025 21:13

I hope this all works out well for you OP
I love the story so far 🙌 X

Mrsknowitall · 26/01/2025 22:30

Idiotcentral · 26/01/2025 18:52

Another reason i am in my bedroom alone because I could have done very very bad things to him earlier today. VERY bad. He is good for my loins if nothing else ;)

Omg you are brilliant! Absolutely love your thread. I’ve felt a bit shitty today but this comment just cracked me up 😂 Make sure you enjoy every minute of it 😀

Trixiefirecracker · 27/01/2025 08:56

I’m really fascinated by adult Lego-playing. What do you make?

OP posts:
Drfosters · 27/01/2025 12:22

This is such a lovely update. No matter what happens you can only regret not seeing where it might go.

Munchyseeds2 · 27/01/2025 13:11

Nothing wrong with lego as adults!

Trixiefirecracker · 27/01/2025 19:50

Munchyseeds2 · 27/01/2025 13:11

Nothing wrong with lego as adults!

I didn’t once say anything was wrong with it! Just intrigued!

Guttedandblue · 27/01/2025 21:48

A lot of “women of a certain age” (including me) are living vicariously through you at the moment OP. 😀

Mush62 · 27/01/2025 23:02

Trixiefirecracker · 27/01/2025 19:50

I didn’t once say anything was wrong with it! Just intrigued!

I prefer leg over 🤣🤣🤣

Guttedandblue · 05/02/2025 21:47

Can we have an update please OP, if you can tear yourself away from loverboy for a few minutes 😀

Icanflyhigh · 05/02/2025 22:54

What a thread OP - you go girl!

Idiotcentral · 06/02/2025 13:22

No real updates really. All is the same as it always was at home, still have not told my son we are actually together as yet but we are planning to do so soon. We are not openly amorous with each other unless my son is out of sight but the pets have seen more than they need to for sure 😂Only us for dinner last night and it was no different to if my son was there. To be honest we are already really good friends and now the initial 'omg we saw each other naked' awkwardness has worn off its basically friends when anyone is around and lovers when they are not. Watching a movie in the evenings just curled up together when we are alone, that kind of thing and we are going on our first 'date' this evening which amuses both of us greatly as of course we have lived together first, then had sex and only now going on our first date 😂

OP posts:
crockofshite · 06/02/2025 13:45

This is a lovely outcome.

Newname25 · 06/02/2025 13:45

Love this update

Guttedandblue · 06/02/2025 15:29

How wonderful OP. It’s so lovely to read a heartwarming thread for a change ❤️❤️