Slept with the lodger - what the hell now?

[Idiotcentral]

Moved a man into my spare room a few months back. He is a family friend although I had not met him till last Oct. He is 10 years my junior, very likeable, we get along really well. As friends. Or so I thought till last night after waaaaaaaaaay too many drinks he pretty much kissed me and I did not object, we ended up in bed together. I am a single parent to a child who is thankfully in school today and no wiser as to what happened. It has not been awkward but it is NOT going to be a relationship. I do not want one and especially not with him however his lease agreement is in place and as he is not from the same country as I am and knows nobody else here he wont be looking to move out. He made a quip this morning before going to work about us being 'friends with benefits' but I have never done that before and not comfortable with that arrangement anyway especially with my teenaged child here but what do I do? Obviously discussing it with him is the right thing but we are both single, clearly attracted to each other and really do get along so well but shit we have now had sex. I dont know what to do from here. Bloody stupidity. Actually really annoyed with myself this morning.

I mean, she's got a point, really. The number of female teachers who turn up in the papers having abused an underage child is shocking. It seems to happen with alarming regularity, and it happened again the other day.

He sounds so respectful and caring. Am rooting for you. 😊

aww what a turn, genuinely thought OP didn’t want a relationship but was self protection. Have a great time, throw caution to the wind.

Fabulous update. Sometimes things are meant to be. But if you don’t try you won’t know! Also similar age gap here and it works! Good luck op.

So the 'child' decided to stay in his friends house last night. It was just me and the lodger at home.... we decided to get more environmentally friendly than we have been and instead of squandering water on a bath for one it became a bath for two - water conservation reasons obviously 😉
Not long out of bed, one bed in fact as we were preserving energy and power by only needing to launder one set today. We really are doing our thing for the environment here.. He has gone off to collect the 'child' as they have training on this morning and I have the house to myself to sit giggling to myself like a teenager with a crush while sipping coffee.

It is so good of you both to preserve the environment this way! Good for you 🤗 and also yay eeeee!

It may still go pear shaped but look you only live once.

This 👍 💯 if in a drunken state he can approach you OP he can do the same with your daughter...please be more mindful and keep her protected.

Read her comments she doesn't have a daughter

I have seen him in photos and heard of him but never met him face to face till last year. We have been in different countries till recently. My parents know him from when during his travels he went back to our home country and have met him numerous times. I have been hearing about him for years I just did not meet him as when I was home he was out of the country and vice versa.

I do not have a daughter.

What daughter❓

OP indicated W A Y up thread that he has plenty of money, not that it's anyone's business how he spends it.

HOORAY 🎉🎉 this is lovely, he sounds lovely.

Good for you OP!!

Bot to jump the gun, but is he sure he wants kids in the future or is it a cultural norm that he is just assuming is what he wants?
My brother was adamant he didn’t want kids and after a messy divorce eventually got together with a woman 10 years his senior. She already had two kids that he developed great relationships with without being their dad, and is now absolutely loving being a grandad.

I hate to say this… but nearly every distraught person I’ve ever listened to wading through the collection of poor decisions and fuck ups they’ve made in their life to get them to the sorry state where they’re sobbing at the kitchen table… made them all impulsively with a big smile saying YOLO!!!!

I’d proceed with caution. Going on holiday with him and your son? That’s potentially very confusing for your son… but I’m sure you’ve thought everything through to ensure good long term outcomes for all concerned…

Clearly I assumed as I read from the beginning 🤪 but I can see now how quickly this story has progressed. Whilst it's easy to get Carried away bear in mind one day he might leave and you will be heartbroken....so look after yourself keep your guards up to protect yourself. Other than that you do you, clearly your enjoying the attention and going with the flow, but don't get involved too deeply....love hurts and how awkward would it be if that happens as you're family friends and your son gets on with him etc

On that basis no parent would ever be able to have a relationship! Also the son is almost 18 so hopefully able to handle the fact that his mother is, in fact, an actual person.

Didn’t say it was … sick of this thread tbh.

@BuildbyNumbere leave it then.

You're both adults so have an adult conversation tell him how you feel about the situation and move on like ADULTS

I have thankfully

The OP hasn't got a daughter.

OP, being cautious here -- honestly, in your shoes, I think I'd ask him to find other accommodation for the sake of what might be a nascent relationship.

I just think that having your very new boyfriend living as a lodger in your spare room in the same house as you and your child is likely to imperil both the potential relationship, your peace of mind and that of your child. You can't go home after a date and think about how it went, and whether you want to have another one if the guy is ten feet down the hall, eating his cornflakes with your child at breakfast time, and in and out a lot during the day.

Not asking him to find somewhere else to live because you don't want to continue seeing him, but because you do.

Yeeeee Haaa !!!! Go Girl.

Have fun OP. There's no point sabotaging the enjoyable bit with too much being sensible now. You both sound like reasonable people. Tell your son sooner rather than later.