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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Clare's law request

821 replies

olivietolivie · 11/01/2025 18:19

Has anybody ever done a Clare's law request, been invited to a police station for disclosure and it not be a deal breaker? I've got an appointment next week and it just feels strange continuing to be 'normal' around the guy when I imagine it's all going to end next week. Or is it? Would appreciate some views as I feel a bit muddled.

OP posts:
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olivietolivie · 17/10/2025 13:05

I definitely won’t be tempted back. I’m just finding this really, really hard. I miss him enormously. I’m finding it hard to process everything or to reconcile the abuse I will now admit that I was going through when it just didn’t feel like abuse.

I do actually have workplace counselling thank you for suggesting that. I’ve never looked into it before as I’ve moved firms recently so it has a different offering but I should definitely do that. I wish I could afford the therapist I saw last year but that was through my Bupa policy which has now lapsed and I have other financial priorities at the moment, sadly, so can’t fund it privately. Mind you, I’m not sure it did me a whole heap of good now I’m reflecting on my unwise decisions this year.

OP posts:
Wibblywobblybobbly · 17/10/2025 13:23

Be kind to yourself. Try taking to yourself (out loud if no one is around) as you would to a friend in the same position. Every single time you wobble or think of him tell yourself why it is a bad idea. tell yourself that you deserve better, that his behaviour wasn't appropriate, that the pain will fade with time, that's it is understandable that you're feeling this way but that it will get better etc.

Doing this consistently is the best way to change how you think about him and the situation. Our brains like to take well trodden paths, and the way we think influences the way we feel. So if you force yourself to think kindly ofnyourself and to reinforce why this was a good decision you will come to truly believe it and to feel stronger and more positive.

You've done a really difficult and brave thing. Give yourself credit for that and keep looking forwards.

humpty74 · 17/10/2025 13:32

Breakups are hard. Be kind to yourself. Mayge get some nice chocolates, every time you want to call him and don't, have a fancy chocolate. Have you got anyone you could go and visit? change of scenery and nice activities might help? Do you like reading? box sets? binge on something you know you like and you find really immersive - the BBC Pride and Prejudice is my goto when I need distracting!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 15:14

I think your reactions are perfectly normal @olivietolivie

When I split up with my ex husband, who had been beating me up for ten years, I found that I missed him.

I didn't miss the abuse though. And gradually, I stopped thinking about him.

The thing is, nobody is 100% awful or abusive, all of the time. We're all fallible and most people have lots of good points as well as the bad ones.

You've done the right thing. And I'm sure that you'll come out the other side intact - eventually.
Flowers

Cantgetausername87 · 17/10/2025 17:32

@olivietolivie so pleased that you're OK. Well you're not OK but you will be! It's OK to be hurt and upset I do hope you get some counselling and come out stronger for the experience! Please be kind to yourself, we all make bad decisions and have some healing to do x

AlertCat · 17/10/2025 20:43

Mind you, I’m not sure it did me a whole heap of good now I’m reflecting on my unwise decisions this year.

I first had ‘therapy’ for my depression when I was 29. It didn’t move me forward at all, even though I felt better after it: I could have had the same benefit from offloading to a friend. the first therapist to mention issues with my mother/parents was when I was 40, and the most effective work I’ve experienced has been IFS/parts work, and compassionate inquiry. I’m 47 and I am the healthiest I’ve ever been, mentally, but that’s only partly down to the therapy I’ve had. And it has been a stop-start road, too.

The point is that it may take some time and effort to find a therapist and a type of therapy that works for you. Most of us don’t know where our issues stem from, because often you don’t see where the harm has come from until someone asks the right questions. Don’t feel bad that you made new mistakes- that’s just human. You also made very brave and wise choices which ultimately have helped you out here. I think you’re going to be ok. You have everything you need, inside you.

Wellifyouresurebetterbegryffindor · 17/10/2025 21:10

Please report the rapes OP so the next woman who does a CL on him wont be left with the same confusion you went through. You could literally save a life.

olivietolivie · 18/10/2025 20:47

Wellifyouresurebetterbegryffindor · 17/10/2025 21:10

Please report the rapes OP so the next woman who does a CL on him wont be left with the same confusion you went through. You could literally save a life.

I have given this a lot of thought but it’s not something I feel like I can do.

OP posts:
Wellifyouresurebetterbegryffindor · 18/10/2025 20:54

olivietolivie · 18/10/2025 20:47

I have given this a lot of thought but it’s not something I feel like I can do.

That's OK lovely. Youve been through enough. Maybe in time but first heal

Quitelikeit · 24/10/2025 17:23

Actually no I didn’t see posts where the op said this man had raped her

So sorry op

itsnotalwaysthateasy · 24/10/2025 23:00

I think the question you should be asking...is why do I attract bad boys that need me to complete a Claires law check on them?
What happened to building your independence up, so you rely on yourself and you can decline low life's such as this?
Lets fix you

humpty74 · 05/12/2025 16:31

I hope you're doing ok @olivietolivie and you're starting to find things easier.

olivietolivie · 05/12/2025 16:45

@humpty74thank you so much for thinking of me. Just this week actually I realised things are feeling easier and I’m not missing him as much. Still think about him a lot though.

Although something I have been struggling with since breaking up is thinking about the different times he forced me to have sex when I didn’t want to. it’s like now we aren’t in a relationship I feel more violated and upset by it. Or perhaps it’s taken me this long to process it. I’m not sure but it freaks me out a bit when I think about it.

OP posts:
Wrenjay · 05/12/2025 17:25

Now you have had time to process the relationship you had with him maybe it wouldn't be too late to report the times he raped you. That action might help you in the future even if you didn't want it to go to Court and could possibly protect other women who ask for a Clare's Law report on him.

All the best for your future.

AlertCat · 05/12/2025 18:45

@olivietolivie i found (I still find) that things would come up for me later on. Quite a lot later in some cases and I realise I’m furious about something. Or i realise it wasn’t normal and that if I’d had normal responses it would never have flown.

please try to be kind to yourself as you would a friend, be caring and not judgemental, treat yourself with respect and gentleness. You are doing your best and look at the strength you are showing. Best wishes from me 💐

MissDoubleU · 05/12/2025 20:09

This is exactly why we were all being so adamant previously. It may have seemed extreme or harsh, but we really were trying to help you see how wrong what he was doing really was. It’s okay that it takes time to process and very normal for it to only hit you after some time has passed. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Give it time ❤️

SecretSoul · 06/12/2025 03:25

@olivietolivie I’m glad you’re doing well. I’ve thought about your thread often.

In an abusive relationship it’s so easy to be bamboozled by the fact that most of the time things are great. Most of the time he’s lovely, kind, and caring. It’s really easy to fail to see how bad things really are because abusive relationships are just awful, right?!

Except that a lot of the time they aren’t.

If abusive relationships were always terrible it would be so much easier to walk away. In many cases the abuser can seem like a great partner for some of the time - except on those occasions when he’s not. And then he’s really, really not.

Because there are so many good times you doubt your own judgement. You tell yourself you’re being silly or over-sensitive. You can’t see what’s really going on because but by but your boundaries have been worn down and you believe you’re the unreasonable one.

It’s only when you get away, start to heal, and are able to view what happened more objectively is it possible to really understand what happened. And that’s when you find your anger because you realise exactly what he did. And how fucking dare he?!! Who the hell did he think he was, pulling that shit?!! Maybe it comes out as feelings of disgust, upset, rage, disbelief….however it presents, it’s all part of coming to terms with what happened. And it can be frustrating because you don’t have the opportunity to tell him to his face what a fucking arsehole he is, with full insight behind your words.

All this will pass. I cannot tell you how happy I was when I read that you’d left him. He’s not a good man and I’m so relieved that you managed to walk away 💐

Petra42 · 06/12/2025 05:27

@olivietolivie be kind to yourself, you've been through so much. As @SecretSoul said so wisely above, when you are in the situation, things really aren't clear, so now you have that hindsight. Be grateful you didnt have children with him.

My ex was terribly mentally abusive. He has changed hugely over the years admittedly so easy for me to forget what he was like. Plus we have children. I wish id never had those awful experiences when we were together though id never regret having my children. Remember how strong you are. Someone told me recently that people respect you when you have boundaries. I wish id known that years ago.

olivietolivie · 06/12/2025 08:25

So much wisdom and kind words on this thread, thank you all.

I think what I’m finding hard to come to terms with is that it was abusive. Which sounds ridiculous I know but he really was so lovely in almost every way. And I felt very safe with him, in almost every way. Just not at night.

That is why this thread is so useful. So many different perspectives on abusive relationships and in particular learning (which sounds so obvious now!!) that obviously they aren’t horrible all the time early on otherwise you’d just walk away.

I wonder if these men really know what they are doing. Or it is just learned behaviour / a pattern they repeat, without really knowing what they are setting out to do. Or do they genuinely think ‘right that’s been 2 years now, time to turn it up a notch…’.

I mentioned I’ve been in an abusive relationship before. That for me was so much easier to identify and I knew what I was living through because of the violence, aggression, living each day walk round on egg shells so as not to set something off. That abuse felt like it infiltrated every fibre of my being and by the end I felt so frightened and it took me years to get over.

so I stayed single for years and then look what I fell into. Despite all good advice.

My eyes feel like they’re really opening now and it’s very sad that these predators are out there, masquerading as good guys.

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AlertCat · 06/12/2025 14:49

Try and get hold of a copy of the Lundy Bancroft book, Why Does He Do That. I found it eye opening.

And do you know, I think lots of men are socialised to have a sense of entitlement which means they just take or do what they want because they never were asked to consider other people. But some end up with a sense of entitlement to do literally whatever they want around another person as well, and your ex’s Clare’s Law disclosure mentioned stalking-type behaviour, didn’t it, and you have mentioned sex. So he feels, at some level, entitled to coercively control his partners and to take sex when he wants it. That shows a fundamental lack of respect for you as a person, and I do think a lot of men fail to see women as people with personhood and all that that means, in the way they see men as people.

for example, say you’re in a pub with a book, reading. Some men will think they can come and talk to you. They’ll just do it, and you’ll feel rude if you don’t welcome them and their interruption. Or if you’re comfortable to say sorry, I’m reading, please don’t interrupt- they’ll be angry and aggressive or insulting.

Some men persist in chatting a woman up until she says she has a boyfriend- so he won’t accept her no on her own behalf, he’ll only accept it when she explains that she ‘belongs’ to another man. He respects the male ownership rather than the woman’s personal autonomy.

do you see what I mean? I think the controlling and abusive ones just take it further than the others. But it all stems from that fundamental way of viewing women as adjuncts to men’s lives and personhood, rather than people in their own right with autonomy, preferences, choice, and skills.

olivietolivie · 07/12/2025 13:54

@AlertCatI’ve read your post quite a few times. It makes sense. Although it makes for sad reading.

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