Boyfriend following "Anti feminist" women on Instagram and twitter

Applepop · 2025-01-06T18:31:53+00:00

Would that worry you? We've been together 3 and a half years. He has only just started following/ sending me stuff from these people. We are supposed to move in together soon and I'm a little concerned about it, it's not Andrew Tate level ( he says he hates him) I'm not sure if I can put the accounts on here ? He's never he has never expressed anything misogynistic to me before

oakleaffy · 06/01/2025 18:33

That’s not good.
Does he want you to be a little wifey at home looking after kids and being a handmaiden to his needs?

In which case- Beware.

oakleaffy · 06/01/2025 18:36

Some women don’t mind being a stay at home wife and mother-but it’s a perilous path of dependence on him if you don’t earn your own money.

I bet he doesn’t want to do any of the cooking, cleaning or housework, and wants sex on tap.
How HE wants it.

2024onwardsandup · 06/01/2025 18:37

In what way are they anti feminist?

But yeah that would be an immediate ick and on your bike mate from me

Precipice · 06/01/2025 18:44

Dump him, if he's against the full equality of women to men as 'anti feminist' content would suggest.

As the first step before coming here, haven't you spoken to him about what he's sending to you? It sounds like he didn't go 'oops, sorry, I didn't think about it that way before' as a response.

Hayley1256 · 06/01/2025 18:46

What kind of content is he following? There are different levels to anti feminist. E.g I still expect my DP to hold the door open for me, carry heavy things etc but I'm all for equality and independent women. He knows I can do these things but I like find ot gentlemanly that he offers

Original poster

Applepop · 06/01/2025 19:19

The Instagram one isn't too bad it's mainly just feeling sorry for men in some way.
One weird one is her reacting to a woman saying women should be naked all the time at home, but I think that was a joke

I Will try and find some examples of twitter.
I don't want to overreact and not move together.

OP posts:

TipsyJoker · 06/01/2025 20:06

Could it be that he’s following them because he likes to hear all opinions and doesn’t want to be in a social media echo chamber? If he’s never shown any misogynistic tendencies, you have to take him as you find him.

If you’re not sure about moving in yet, don’t. Wait until you’re comfortable before you do. If he loves you he will understand that you aren’t sure yet and just want to wait a little bit longer. Then keep an eye on his behaviour. If he starts changing then rethink your future.

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 20:46

Although it might surprise those in the progressive echo-chambers, only about a third of people identify as feminist. It’s seen by many as a toxic term and a facet of “wokeness”. It doesn’t mean he’s
misogynistic… In fact, it’s the knee-jerk presumption of many that anyone who doesn’t identify as feminist must therefore be a misogynist that turns people away from feminism…

So if the idea that he’s not a full-on feminist offends you, and that he dares to engage in content that challenges a feminist agenda, then you’d be doing both of you a favour by dumping him. However, don’t then complain that you’re then only able to attract soy-boys and simps… as the men displaying the masculine traits that we tend to love, tend not to be feminists!

Original poster

Applepop · 06/01/2025 20:50

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 20:46

Although it might surprise those in the progressive echo-chambers, only about a third of people identify as feminist. It’s seen by many as a toxic term and a facet of “wokeness”. It doesn’t mean he’s
misogynistic… In fact, it’s the knee-jerk presumption of many that anyone who doesn’t identify as feminist must therefore be a misogynist that turns people away from feminism…

So if the idea that he’s not a full-on feminist offends you, and that he dares to engage in content that challenges a feminist agenda, then you’d be doing both of you a favour by dumping him. However, don’t then complain that you’re then only able to attract soy-boys and simps… as the men displaying the masculine traits that we tend to love, tend not to be feminists!

What do you mean simps? Soy boys?

OP posts:

Cheesandcrackers · 06/01/2025 22:50

There is a small cohort of social media women that call out obviously toxic female actions. Men should always pay, why should I work etc. This calling out sometimes veers into "poor men" territory. However it's a long way from Andrew Tate. Maybe ask him what message he gets from these posts. After having looked at a few posts first yourself of course...

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 23:12

Applepop · 06/01/2025 20:50

What do you mean simps? Soy boys?

Show quote history

Simps and soyboys are slang terms for men who don’t stand up for themselves and are generally pathetic… debasing themselves by showing excessive sympathy and attention in pursuit of affection.

shuggles · 07/01/2025 00:29

@Applepop Just a heads up, OP. The most insensitive and creepy men I've met have universally been men with soft, effeminate voices who boast about their feminist and progressive credentials.

It is likely that your boyfriend likes these women because they are saying things that are common sense, not because he is sexist.

nonbinaryfinery · 07/01/2025 00:32

Nope. Dump him.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 07/01/2025 00:35

Have you asked him why he’s doing this?

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 07/01/2025 00:38

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 23:12

Simps and soyboys are slang terms for men who don’t stand up for themselves and are generally pathetic… debasing themselves by showing excessive sympathy and attention in pursuit of affection.

Show quote history

The term soyboy is used to imply that a man who consumes soya products will be effeminate due to the phytoestrogens in soya.

Simp is sometimes said to be an acronym for ‘sucker idolising mediocre pussy’ or shamelessly idolising mediocre pussy, ie fawning over a woman who’s not interested in him and isn’t even that hot.

Verite1 · 07/01/2025 00:42

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 20:46

Although it might surprise those in the progressive echo-chambers, only about a third of people identify as feminist. It’s seen by many as a toxic term and a facet of “wokeness”. It doesn’t mean he’s
misogynistic… In fact, it’s the knee-jerk presumption of many that anyone who doesn’t identify as feminist must therefore be a misogynist that turns people away from feminism…

So if the idea that he’s not a full-on feminist offends you, and that he dares to engage in content that challenges a feminist agenda, then you’d be doing both of you a favour by dumping him. However, don’t then complain that you’re then only able to attract soy-boys and simps… as the men displaying the masculine traits that we tend to love, tend not to be feminists!

Well this sounds as though it’s straight from the Andrew Tate handbook!

XChrome · 07/01/2025 00:46

Applepop · 06/01/2025 20:50

What do you mean simps? Soy boys?

Show quote history

The poster really gave him/herself away with that comment. It's an insulting term mostly used by far right loons to describe men who aren't traditionally "masculine." Pay no attention to that drivel.

eightIsNewNine · 07/01/2025 00:47

OneLemonGuide · 06/01/2025 20:46

Although it might surprise those in the progressive echo-chambers, only about a third of people identify as feminist. It’s seen by many as a toxic term and a facet of “wokeness”. It doesn’t mean he’s
misogynistic… In fact, it’s the knee-jerk presumption of many that anyone who doesn’t identify as feminist must therefore be a misogynist that turns people away from feminism…

So if the idea that he’s not a full-on feminist offends you, and that he dares to engage in content that challenges a feminist agenda, then you’d be doing both of you a favour by dumping him. However, don’t then complain that you’re then only able to attract soy-boys and simps… as the men displaying the masculine traits that we tend to love, tend not to be feminists!

Wtf?

Being a decent person doesn't automatically require identifying oneself as a feminist, people have different topics they focus on.

However, not actively being a feminist and getting into anti-feminist rabbit holes, gleefully sharing it, are two different things.

I'm not sure now which masculine traits you tend to love that you can't find them in decent or even feminist men. The traits I love like respect, mutual support, ability to wash their own socks and good humour are quite ok with decent and feminist men.

So now the question for the OP is: he isn't a feminist, ok. Is he a good person?

XChrome · 07/01/2025 00:51

Verite1 · 07/01/2025 00:42

Well this sounds as though it’s straight from the Andrew Tate handbook!

Show quote history

If you are unsure for any reason, don't move in with him. This behaviour might be the tip of the iceberg, and if so, you'd be making the worst mistake of your life. He is sending you a message, which is quite likely that he wishes to dominate you. If he's doing this now, imagine what he might do when he's secure that you're not going to leave.

Happyinarcon · 07/01/2025 00:51

Someone who is against women creating an Only fans account can be described as both a feminist and an anti feminist depending on who you ask. The label of Feminist is completely meaningless at this point so personally i would consider each view in its merits

shuggles · 07/01/2025 01:08

Happyinarcon · 07/01/2025 00:51

Someone who is against women creating an Only fans account can be described as both a feminist and an anti feminist depending on who you ask. The label of Feminist is completely meaningless at this point so personally i would consider each view in its merits

A dose of reality and common sense.

Daleksatemyshed · 07/01/2025 05:27

I'd ask him why he's sending these messages to you @Applepop _ does he think you'll be interested or is he making a point? It's the timing that bothers me a bit, just before you move in together, is he looking for you to play housewife for him

supercali77 · 07/01/2025 05:43

I'd probably have a conversation with him about it. One thing about SM is the extremity of the different camps. Otoh Andrew tate, on the other, certain aspects of 3rd wave feminism, on the other trad wives. Im not for any of these extremities.i think for me it would depend on what he's liking, and why.

User37482 · 07/01/2025 05:47

Just talk to him, I follow people I don’t agree with to get the other perspective sometimes. Tradwife stuff is fucking toxic though, mainly because it places so much obligation on women to subsume themselves in their role.

RedHelenB · 07/01/2025 05:59

If you can't talk to him about this and why he's doing it you're not ready to move in together yet.