Boyfriend following "Anti feminist" women on Instagram and twitter

[Applepop]

Would that worry you? We've been together 3 and a half years.
He has only just started following/ sending me stuff from these people.

We are supposed to move in together soon and I'm a little concerned about it, it's not Andrew Tate level ( he says he hates him)
I'm not sure if I can put the accounts on here ?

He's never he has never expressed anything misogynistic to me before

It’s funny isn’t it, I quite like the sound oft this ‘simp’.

I don't think they would hate to date a genuine feminist.
What they wouldn't like and what I don't like personally is the brand of bile spewed by some social media commentators and some Mumsnet posters.

Don’t move in with someone until you can have honest and open communication with them on difficult topics.

Unless OP comes back with some examples it's hard to gauge what kind of "feminism" this is about.

Interesting as I agree with most of what you wrote…

If by equivalence you mean equally valuing the contribution of both men and women, then I agree. I was using the word equivalence to mean identical in all ways with the sole distinction of one’s chosen gender identity. It shows how defining terms is essential to any discussion!

Feminism these days in my experience seeks to blur the distinction between men and women, and expect men to adopt feminised behaviours on the basis that masculinity is inherently toxic.

Some may well be cultural/societal - such as women taking the lead on childrearing - but which nonetheless are firmly entrenched.

I’d argue this is nearly as biologically-driven as giving birth. Women are, in general, more nurturing. (Obviously it’s a spectrum and some men are more nurturing than women, but in general). Modern-day feminism only seems to accept the basic child-bearing distinction with everything else being societal, and only then if the feminist is gender critical. For many feminists, there’s no distinction whatsoever! It’s that “equivalence” I object to. Men and women are different in general in ways that go well beyond child-bearing. Sure, there’s a spectrum, and there are some masculine women and feminine men, and as long as everyone is being authentically themselves, that’s fine, but there are various typical male and typical female traits,
and these should be accepted and celebrated, not obscured and suppressed as feminism often seeks to do.

Equivalence does not mean identical within law, the better description would be "Of equal value" which is why it's used in equality law rather than using a word that means identical as jobs are often not identical, but provide equal value.

I find it really surprising that he's sending you this stuff when you've never shown an interest in it. I also find it worrying that you don't feel able to speak to him about it.

If someone I knew started sending me weird crap, I'd ask them what they were doing.

But you're wrong. That's not feminism at all and, if anything, modern feminism wants to celebrate and understand the differences between men and women, without taking away from either one in any way.

I have tried to talk to him about it, he just say's he doesn't agree with everything they say.

He doesn't want me to be a trad wife, we do equal amounts of the cooking when we see eachother.
He'll be moving into my apartment

I don't think I can post the videos he sends me here.

This is one of the twitter accounts that worried me. And that's supposed to be a woman?

(Sorry about the bad editing)

Well, Icant see the twitter handle to look at the account in detail, but this poster looks like a misogynist prat and your P might think this is funny, but I do nto think its funny and I would absolutely be wondering whether this is a big red flag.

Have their been any other behaviours? Comments about women being promoted just because they're women? Or women not being able to be leaders? Or "jokes" about you doing the cleaning/washing/ironing? Or "jokes" about not trusting women out on nights out. Or not generally being happy with you being out with girlfriends and/or having interactions with men? Any subtle victim blaming - when a woman is raped or murdered of the sort that's all faux sympathy but with a twist eg "that's terrible - that man must have been desperate/unhappy/unhinged and just lost when they had a fight"

Does he get annoyed or resist doing things becuase YOU want to do them if they're not what he wants to do?

If he's moving in with you what are the financial plans for this? Lots of men like this are, ironically, hilariously quick to let the woman take on the bulk of the financial burden.

Also, men's right activists scare the shit out of me - men have PLENTY of rights.

If that’s the case, a very different impression is perceived by most people. Ask 100 people what feminism is and I don’t imagine many, if any, will provide an answer that talks about valuing the differences between men and women.

And it’s not much use applying your own particular values to feminism, when feminism is generally held to mean something different, simply because you are attached to the term and believe its axiomatic that every woman must be a feminist.

That's trolling. Someone is trying to wind people up. No one believes you should sell people, unless they're absolute fuckwits.

Tell him to stop sending you childish crap and you're not interested.

Thank you. I now realise my use of the word equivalence may not have been helpful and technically accurate from a legal perspective.

But have you not asked why he’s sending you these things? Asked him which parts he does agree with?

He’s entertaining nonsense.

Question: Why is he moving in with you? Why aren’t you moving in with him? Doesn’t he want to be ‘masculine’? It’s amusing. Tell him you want him to pay all of the bills. It’ll stop this childishness. He’ll be working too hard to care about Twitter—moronic man.

Why is he forwarding this drivel to you?

Does he think he's starting some sort of 'wifetraining' programme in the hope that you will keel over in submission before he moves in?

Yeah I cut out the twitter handle as I wasn't sure I could post.

No bad comments about women at all, that's why it surprised me that he started sending this stuff.

To begin with I'll still be paying most of the bills as he's still finishing uni. Then 50/50 when he gets a Job

He's in a house share

Oh I know that post is a joke, but just concerned he finds it funny.

No!!

You're paying the bills and he's bringing nothing to the table. Are you stupid or what? You are essentially giving him a free place to stay. No wonder he entertains nonsense online. Don't emasculate him. There’s NO REASON why he cannot work and study. Wake up, dear.

You know him better than anyone here OP. Is this his usual sense of humour? He finds trolling and outrageous comments hilarious. Some people do.

So what? Let him stay there. Why do you need to provide for him? You’re not his mother.

Read what you are saying, hun. You’re allowing him into your home and you are happy to pay most of the bills TILL he finds a job. Once he has a job, you’ll go 50/50. Are you really being serious ….?

You're right that there is some debate about exactly what feminism is, and there are some nuances in the definition. But I have never, until your posts today, come across a single person who identifies as a feminist and who thinks that feminists today want men to be more feminine. Unless you consider it being more "feminine" to believe that no, it's not your god given right to get that job, that woman, that sexual gratification just because you are a man.

Again, I think you're consuing feminists' issues with toxic masculinity (which absolutely is a thing) and so-called "feminine traits". Because again, if you think feminists want men to have more "feminine traits" in the form of actually doing their share of parenting rather than assuming a woman will do it, then perhaps you're right. But the point for most of us is that these shouldn't be considered feminine but rather just normal, healthy behaviour of adults who are parents.