Boyfriend following "Anti feminist" women on Instagram and twitter

[Applepop]

Would that worry you? We've been together 3 and a half years.
He has only just started following/ sending me stuff from these people.

We are supposed to move in together soon and I'm a little concerned about it, it's not Andrew Tate level ( he says he hates him)
I'm not sure if I can put the accounts on here ?

He's never he has never expressed anything misogynistic to me before

Why is he sending you the messages? Is he trying to educate you or change you, or is it something you both enjoy discussing?

Is it trad wives with homestead type of stuff?
I will be honest, I sometimes send DH some stuff like that😂
My dream life is to fuck off to middle of nowhere, have small homestead, smoker, proper bbq, massive kitchen, veg and fruit garden, rabbits, freezer full of meat and homemade meat products, basement full of food preserves I make while he trotters off to work😂 The bread I would have time to make would be absolute 5*. Happily would make him sandwiches for lunch with it😂
Still undecided about goats. Hilarious but look like hard work😂
Some would find that unfeminist.

Yes, but that's your fantasy.

If it's a case of OP's boyfriend trying to push traditional roles onto her and expecting her to take on all the domestic work if they move in together, it's a bit different.

I'd ask him why he's showing you it, OP.

What nonsense.
Feminism is simple the belief that women deserve equal rights with men. Nothing more nothing less.
Most people are feminist whether they identify as that or not.
Neither my husband nor the boys who come to FemSoc at my school are simps and soy boys- using such incel language makes it incredibly easy to dismiss your point!

Well OP didn't even say if this is what he is sending so he is not pushing and if he is we don't even know what or what he expects her to do?

Yeah, that language shows what internet echo chamber they came out of.

That's why I said she should ask him.

Have you asked him about it? Communication is the key .

I agree she should.

If you expect men to hold doors open for you, you're anti-feminist.
You don't get to pick and choose.

People pick and choose all the time. So someone's views aren't wholly consistent, so what? It's not a "gotcha" that suddenly erases everything else.

“What nonsense.
Feminism is simple the belief that women deserve equal rights with men. Nothing more nothing less.
Most people are feminist whether they identify as that or not.
Neither my husband nor the boys who come to FemSoc at my school are simps and soy boys- using such incel language makes it incredibly easy to dismiss your point!”

This.

You're an idiot. Feminism is about equality. My husband is a decent man who is confident in himself and doesn't need a woman who thinks he is above her to make himself feel good. If a man needs a woman to be less than there is something seriously wrong with him. Any woman who ends up with a man who feels woman are a lower class is going to have a shit time and end up on here complaining about her miserable life.

You don't get to dictate, you don't run the world and the universal definitions committee.

Ask him why he is sending this woman hating stuff and let him know that is not the way forward if he does want a relationship with a woman.

@OneLemonGuide you’re a bloke. No woman ever uses the term “simps”. Women like a man who likes women as people.

Get yourself back on YouTube where your people are. And by “your people” I don’t mean men, who are quite welcome here - I mean misogynists, who aren’t.

If you expect men to hold doors open for you, you're anti-feminist.
You don't get to pick and choose.

I always think this is such a stupid example - like the rest of us ADORE having a door slammed in their face. I hold doors for everyone! iT IS GOOD MANNERS!!

I would imagine that most men with common sense and dignity hate feminism as much as any woman should hate chauvinism. Marrying a full on feminist would be as draining as marrying a chauvinist. Constant commentary on gender and sensitivity to everything, making their partner feel on the back foot. When gender becomes a front and centre issue, then there is a problem. If you want a man who identifies as a feminist, go to a woke rally or something, or join a forum, you’ll find someone more suited to your particular agenda.

I'm a woman and know and use the term simps. Just because you don't use it don't automatically presume every other woman doesn't.

Some woman have simps

Yes but saying that implies that even if you were in the position to hold doors open, you wouldn’t, as you “believe” that it’s not your job.

Personally, I consider things like doors etc more about etiquette- like standing in the right on the tube or yielding to the right on a traffic circle - they allow us all to physically move through the world easier without smashing in to each other. Men defer to women ok door openings, younger people to older people, but if one person is there notably before another (while.still all arriving together) whoever they are, they hold it for the next person. I have never seen it as a feminist or non feminist matter.

As for OPs dilemma, without knowing what he is sending her it's impossible to judge. But it does sound like it's the "oh the poor menz " sort of stuff which instantly gives me the ick.

Ther internalised misogyny on this thread is gross.

Might want to check your boyfriend isn't on MN!

I would have a clear discussion with him about why he is sharing it but also expectations both for now and if you have children. I would tend to go for splitting tasks rather than having allocated roles. So you do your own laundry, you cook half the week he cooks the other half etc. Any discussion of 'you do it better' can be countered with the reassurance that he can learn how to do it. He is presumably managing to survive independently at the moment.

Ok - talk me through what a simp is, in a way which sounds like you’re not actually an incel

In which case, feminism’s work is done, at least in the UK (though it definitely isn’t in many places in the world!).

However, those who promote feminism today in the West often don’t seem to be advocating for “equality” anymore, at least in terms of equality of opportunity and rights (which is something most people, including myself, overwhelmingly support).

Rather they are advocating “equivalence”, where the aim is for men and women to be essentially indistinguishable in all aspects of life except perhaps in how they identify, but where feminine traits are promoted and masculine traits are frowned upon… with the result that men are only accepted if they adopt feminised characteristics, but shunned if they adopt masculine ones (hence my use of the terms simps and soy-boys which I accept was rather provocative and now regret using).

This is a trend many,many women, as well as men, don’t like, and why only a 1/3 or is of people identify themselves as feminists.