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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married to someone with Asperger's/ASD/ND: support thread 14

996 replies

Daftasabroom · 05/01/2025 13:55

New thread.
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This thread is for those of us seeking to explore the dynamics of long term relationships with our ND partners. Some of us are ND ourselves, very many of us have ND children. It is a support thread, and a safe space, it does get emotional at times. Avoid sweeping generalisations if possible, try and keep it specific to you and your partner.
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It's complicated and it's emotional.
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The old thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5183563-married-to-someone-with-aspergersasdnd-support-thread-13?page=1

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SpecialMangeTout2 · 17/03/2025 12:02

@stoviesfortea welcome to this little corner of the Internet.

Yep, I’ve found very similar attitude/reactions with dh too. Incl the walking ahead etc…

What do you feel would be your next step? You seem to be at the end of your tether.

LoveFoolMe · 17/03/2025 12:08

Your DH sounds very much like mine @NDornotND

LoveFoolMe · 17/03/2025 12:10

Petra42 · 17/03/2025 08:29

@ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore no children on his side. This seems to be why he can't see my side. His parents were also very hands off

I don't think it's the lack of children which means he can't see your side. I think it's the autism.

LoveFoolMe · 17/03/2025 12:22

Also, autism has a genetic element. It's possible that at least one of the hands-off parents is also autistic. So not easily able to see things from someone else's (i.e their child's) perspective.

Flamingfeline · 17/03/2025 12:36

Petra42 · 17/03/2025 10:34

@NDornotND my partner is lovely to my kids when seeing them but just doesnt have that understanding of parenting. I assumed it was because he didnt have children himself but i think his knowledge is just things he knows in theory/from a textbook.

Does anyone here wonder if their partner would be better suited to someone else? Im super easy going and tolerant so i do wonder about my partner - whether there is someone who will accept everything without question and who he will be happy with

I’m the same, very very tolerant except when pushed to my limit. I am absolutely sure my husband would not have been able to sustain a relationship with 999 women out of a thousand as he would have to face the reality of what is “normally” expected.

ANiceLittleHouseByTheSeaWithACatCalledBrenda · 17/03/2025 13:01

Welcome @stoviesfortea. This thread is a lifeline for us on here 🙏

Petra42 · 17/03/2025 13:51

@LoveFoolMe parents also autistic

@SpecialMangeTout2 interestingly i do feel loved and treated well. This is the one thing though that we butt horns about and annoys me

ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore · 17/03/2025 13:57

Welcome @stoviesfortea glad you found the thread. I think I saw your thread. Loads of us on here in similari-ish boats!

ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore · 17/03/2025 14:09

Re whether our partners would be better suited with someone else, I'm not sure, probably. It's possible that another woman might not be as triggered by H's behaviours as I am. I often wonder if I overreact or if it's that I'm triggered due to past trauma. His ex is probably ND too, I've met her a few times and actually quite like her. She lent us loads of baby stuff, including a nice buggy, when we had DD! Imagine that 😆 she was much bossier than me so probably would have just huffed back when he became grumpy.

I also think H has gotten worse with age and since having the responsibility of DD. Of course several bereavements have left him wounded and changed him a lot too. He showed me a photo of him on holiday in his early 20s the other day, wow he looked so much less frowny/scowly and much more relaxed. Great hair too, like Morten from AHA!

Rainbow03 · 17/03/2025 14:21

Definitely think that life alters Neurodivergent people. So much masking and bombardment on our senses. I was definitely more outgoing when younger but only because I was trying to fit in and now I don’t care if I don’t. I’ve accepted more of who I am authentically and it’s up to my partner to decide if he can accept me in my growth. If we grow apart then so bit it really. Lots of people grow apart in relationships for all sorts of reasons. I met my current partner knowing I was ND though so I fully expect a partner who knew me as outgoing would be miffed and would think I’d lost my mind instead of found it.

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 17/03/2025 19:24

Thought i was coping pretty well with things. After our conversation a week or so ago, him saying he would 'try' and engage more with me and the kids etc, etc,,,,,you all know the speel😳
Me channeling Elsa, humming 'Let it go, let it go' on a loop😏
I received some distressing family news and I'm struggling to accept what is happening. Dh asked who was on the phone, I told him. He said "Oh" and walked away.
He could have said a million comforting words. He could have asked questions. He could have hugged me and said nothing. He did nothing.
"Oh" WTAF.
I keep telling myself it's who he is, it's hard for him, he struggles with empathy.
What about me though? I need comforted. I need hugged. I need to rant at someone about the injustice of what's happening. I need to cry.
I am so lonely living like this.

SpecialMangeTout2 · 17/03/2025 20:42

@Ohdostopwafflinggeremy 🫂🫂🫂
It sounds like you need those hugs.

Is there someone else you could call/go and see instead?

ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore · 18/03/2025 06:57

I'm so sorry @Ohdostopwafflinggeremy 🫂 In the words of Elsa's sister Anna (in Frozen 2 when things are bleak) perhaps today find a way to 'do the next right thing', do something right for you, something grounding and comforting to get you through this. A few moments listening the spring birds, stroke a pet if you have one, eat cake, drink tea or do some grounding exercises. And do cry, holding back the tears hurts even more 🫂

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 18/03/2025 07:19

@SpecialMangeTout2 @ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore Thank you.
Having to internalise everything is so exhausting. Having to keep my feelings and thoughts and concerns to myself actually physically hurts. Always being on the verge of tears and having to swallow it and suppress, because 'letting it all out' is not an option.
The shocking realisation that I have no-one in my life I can confide in has scared me.
I have gradually isolated myself from everyone, to the point I have no-one now.
Dh seems to need me as a physical presence in his life, he requires no other form of connection from me.
I need connection, conversation, interaction.
We are actually two completely different species.

Rainbow03 · 18/03/2025 07:31

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 18/03/2025 07:19

@SpecialMangeTout2 @ItReallyDoesntMatterAnymore Thank you.
Having to internalise everything is so exhausting. Having to keep my feelings and thoughts and concerns to myself actually physically hurts. Always being on the verge of tears and having to swallow it and suppress, because 'letting it all out' is not an option.
The shocking realisation that I have no-one in my life I can confide in has scared me.
I have gradually isolated myself from everyone, to the point I have no-one now.
Dh seems to need me as a physical presence in his life, he requires no other form of connection from me.
I need connection, conversation, interaction.
We are actually two completely different species.

Would it make any difference if you told him what you need in that moment? Came at it in a non demanding way some how. Would he actually deny a hug if you said that you needed one?

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 18/03/2025 07:55

@Rainbow03 No he wouldn't deny me a hug if i asked for one.
Having to ask for a hug from him and being given a perfunctory pat on the back, knowing that he doesn't have any genuine empathy for what I'm feeling would hurt.
Even after all this time together and the hundreds of posts on this thread i have sympathised with, I see that I still 'don't get it' ( or I'm just not prepared to accept it)
I don't get that after nearly 30 years together he can't see when I'm hurting and what I might need at that time to feel a little better.
I try and give him the physical and emotional space he clearly needs, I make no demands. This is not a natural state for me but I try not to ask from him what I know he can't give.
I see that he has made no effort over the decades to 'see' what i may need.

Fidelius · 18/03/2025 08:29

@Ohdostopwafflinggeremy
I read your two most recent posts with such a sense of recognition for your feelings. What you said is so insightful and intuitive, it was very moving.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so isolated and alone with these powerful emotions, with nowhere for them to go except inside.
I hope you can find solace somewhere, maybe a little in knowing that others here understand.

Rainbow03 · 18/03/2025 08:36

Ohdostopwafflinggeremy · 18/03/2025 07:55

@Rainbow03 No he wouldn't deny me a hug if i asked for one.
Having to ask for a hug from him and being given a perfunctory pat on the back, knowing that he doesn't have any genuine empathy for what I'm feeling would hurt.
Even after all this time together and the hundreds of posts on this thread i have sympathised with, I see that I still 'don't get it' ( or I'm just not prepared to accept it)
I don't get that after nearly 30 years together he can't see when I'm hurting and what I might need at that time to feel a little better.
I try and give him the physical and emotional space he clearly needs, I make no demands. This is not a natural state for me but I try not to ask from him what I know he can't give.
I see that he has made no effort over the decades to 'see' what i may need.

I’m probably the wrong person to answer really as I’ve been burnt so many times and surrounded by so many ND family I don’t expect empathy from anyone anymore, which is sad. But then at the same time I know that I’m worthy of it it’s just that none of these people can give it. Perhaps that’s the only way through this, to accept they can’t but still accept that is not based on worthiness. I would like to get a pet dog. Also I know what I can get out of my partner. If I’m sad he’ll get himself angry and want to fight what’s making me angry (really unhelpful) but I know if I’m sad I can say to him look let’s book a weekend in the camper van (his special interest) so he’ll say yes always and then I can go sit in the forest or the seaside and breath. I have found a way that works lol. Perhaps there is something to do like this?

Rainbow03 · 18/03/2025 08:49

Is there something you can do side by side together to see what happens, whether a connection could happen, a laugh etc without the direct request? I’ve no interest in his camper van and all the moving parts etc but I can sit and enjoy the view with him whilst he does what he does and share a drink etc. Same like the garden we can do different parts but outside together then something funny might happen. I wonder if they have pda with the expectation of connection? But if it happens unexpected it might happen.

dontbeabsurd · 18/03/2025 08:58

Apologies for derailing the thread a bit but I’m having one of those mornings filled with frustration and hopelessness. My ND partner seems to be unable to plan/organise/think ahead, which means that planning anything falls on me, and even then I need to be mindful when I bring the discussions up as he gets so easily stressed. Admittedly, he’s going through a particularly difficult time at work and according to his words once it’s over he’ll be able to engage more in relationship life. However, since we’ve been together there always seems to be something that overwhelms him. Does it ever change? He’s planning to retire in a few years time and says that he’ll be a different person then but I’m starting to wonder if he’ll simply find another source of stress and/or it’s more about inability to make decisions and plan forward. It’s exhausting and I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Georgeismydog · 18/03/2025 09:50

DH told me at the weekend he is finding my tears tiring and difficult to cope with. Ffs I'm going through the menopause, losing my DM and the kids are starting to fly the nest. I'm not a robot even if he is! Went swimming on Sunday and had a good cry in the cubicle to release it all as I have nowhere to release it. thank goodness for this forum.

BustyLaRoux · 18/03/2025 11:28

Hello, welcome @stoviesfortea

He does sound like he ticks a lot of those autistic boxes.

I don’t know if this will be helpful but here are some things I’ve learned along the way from my time on this amazing forum:

Some autistic people have some capacity for change. Most do not. Change requires reflection and empathy and, as we know, for many autistic people those traits are at odds with their personal profile.

Where change is possible, it is often at surface level. Someone can learn a social rule but it doesn’t change who they are. Learning to say “and how are you?” doesn’t magically turn them into an empathetic person. Learning not to jab his finger at me to make his point doesn’t really make him less aggressive when he feels riled/challenged/criticised.

It is possible in a small minority to have more meaningful change, but it’s rare, extremely difficult and will be hard won. (Is it worth it??)

The need for control, the emotional shut down, the rudeness, dismissive behaviour, the anger, the lack of flexibility or empathy can mean the other partner experiences the relationship as abusive. There is not a lot of give and take or understanding. There is a high degree of hypocrisy, blame and criticism of everyone else. It’s really REALLY hard. In long term relationships many partners on here report their mental but also their physical health taking an absolute battering. Advice is often “get out if you can!”

A lot of couple therapy or autism support is centred around the autistic person’s needs. There is a high degree of expectancy around making accommodations for their needs, but there is a limit to how far one can go! It can leave the non autistic partner feeling angry, lonely and frustrated. And like the abuse they’re suffering has been legitimised! Therapy and counselling have limited impact. It can actually make things worse.

Given meaningful change is so unlikely, most of us come to the conclusion that it boils down to either preparing to leave (many are not able to for a myriad reasons which are often highly complex) or finding a way to tolerate it (increasing your personal resources any way you can - hobbies, sleeping in separate rooms, having a wide circle of friends, meditation, as much independence as possible, whatever works basically) whilst also learning to accept the autistic partner for who they are. A degree of emotional detachment is often required to achieve this acceptance and it comes at a price.

Staying in the relationship but willing it to be different and battling against it continuously makes for a very unhappy existence. Accept it, find your peace as far as you’re able, or put the wheels in motion to leave.

I am sure there are lots of happily married people with autistic partners. I’m not saying happiness and meaningful, affectionate, supportive relationships are not possible. But those people are unlikely to be on here searching for support. If you’ve found yourself seeking some solidarity here then chances are you aren’t in one of those relationships!

That said I am going to try and make a go of my relationship but with us living apart. My DP can be absolutely vile and abusive and I am sure many people here wish I would leave in entirety. I am hopeful if we remove the things which challenge us (blending families, different parenting approaches, different requirements in our environments) we can go back to enjoying each other. I don’t know if that’s possible. DP isn’t one of the withdrawn autistic types. He is gregarious and funny, can laugh at himself, is affectionate (more so than me!), is generous with his time… in other words there are many facets of his personality which I am drawn to. We have actually just had a lovely weekend, despite going through the potentially contentious job of dividing up our stuff. But living together has proved too hard. It’s nearly broken me. I am intermittently very sad but relieved to be getting my own space.

SpecialMangeTout2 · 18/03/2025 11:47

Lost it today.
Different stressors mean I haven’t had capacity to cope with his PA smirks/judgement.
Not helped by the little digs this last week (all PA too).

The more it goes, the more I realise it’s not autism I’m struggling with. It’s the package around it - in his case avoidance and PA.

How much would I give to be able to tell him I’m done!

stoviesfortea · 18/03/2025 22:44

BustyLaRoux · 18/03/2025 11:28

Hello, welcome @stoviesfortea

He does sound like he ticks a lot of those autistic boxes.

I don’t know if this will be helpful but here are some things I’ve learned along the way from my time on this amazing forum:

Some autistic people have some capacity for change. Most do not. Change requires reflection and empathy and, as we know, for many autistic people those traits are at odds with their personal profile.

Where change is possible, it is often at surface level. Someone can learn a social rule but it doesn’t change who they are. Learning to say “and how are you?” doesn’t magically turn them into an empathetic person. Learning not to jab his finger at me to make his point doesn’t really make him less aggressive when he feels riled/challenged/criticised.

It is possible in a small minority to have more meaningful change, but it’s rare, extremely difficult and will be hard won. (Is it worth it??)

The need for control, the emotional shut down, the rudeness, dismissive behaviour, the anger, the lack of flexibility or empathy can mean the other partner experiences the relationship as abusive. There is not a lot of give and take or understanding. There is a high degree of hypocrisy, blame and criticism of everyone else. It’s really REALLY hard. In long term relationships many partners on here report their mental but also their physical health taking an absolute battering. Advice is often “get out if you can!”

A lot of couple therapy or autism support is centred around the autistic person’s needs. There is a high degree of expectancy around making accommodations for their needs, but there is a limit to how far one can go! It can leave the non autistic partner feeling angry, lonely and frustrated. And like the abuse they’re suffering has been legitimised! Therapy and counselling have limited impact. It can actually make things worse.

Given meaningful change is so unlikely, most of us come to the conclusion that it boils down to either preparing to leave (many are not able to for a myriad reasons which are often highly complex) or finding a way to tolerate it (increasing your personal resources any way you can - hobbies, sleeping in separate rooms, having a wide circle of friends, meditation, as much independence as possible, whatever works basically) whilst also learning to accept the autistic partner for who they are. A degree of emotional detachment is often required to achieve this acceptance and it comes at a price.

Staying in the relationship but willing it to be different and battling against it continuously makes for a very unhappy existence. Accept it, find your peace as far as you’re able, or put the wheels in motion to leave.

I am sure there are lots of happily married people with autistic partners. I’m not saying happiness and meaningful, affectionate, supportive relationships are not possible. But those people are unlikely to be on here searching for support. If you’ve found yourself seeking some solidarity here then chances are you aren’t in one of those relationships!

That said I am going to try and make a go of my relationship but with us living apart. My DP can be absolutely vile and abusive and I am sure many people here wish I would leave in entirety. I am hopeful if we remove the things which challenge us (blending families, different parenting approaches, different requirements in our environments) we can go back to enjoying each other. I don’t know if that’s possible. DP isn’t one of the withdrawn autistic types. He is gregarious and funny, can laugh at himself, is affectionate (more so than me!), is generous with his time… in other words there are many facets of his personality which I am drawn to. We have actually just had a lovely weekend, despite going through the potentially contentious job of dividing up our stuff. But living together has proved too hard. It’s nearly broken me. I am intermittently very sad but relieved to be getting my own space.

Thank you for your lovely welcome and reply. I think I’ve been battling against it for years and years now that I’m thinking it has to change. As in I have to do something different. He’s never going to change. I have 25 years of evidence for that. So I’m putting the wheels in motion. This is the first time I’ve posted online about him and today was the first time I ever confided in a real life friend and told her everything. It was both a relief and terrifying / shameful / embarrassing. But I can’t keep my head in the sand forever