Partner offended over couples sex toy I bought him

[Bamboosilverleaf]

Basically what it says in the title.
Been with partner for over a year. Sex life seems open and fun and we both love each other.
At Christmas we bough main present each and said a few jokey / sexy things.
One of the smaller things he got me was pretty lingerie that I loved.
One of the smaller things I got for him was a c*k ring as he opened it I said for both of us. He went oh ok. Got up and started a making a cup of tea. Anyway since then he hasn't mentioned it he's put it away in a draw. I wore my lingerie last night and said babe get the c*k ring out , massage oil etc . He didn't get it out the drawer. I left it, we had fun anyway.
So this morning I say to him , have you tried that c**k ring? And he said I don't really understand why you bought it , it's like basically saying I'm not enough for you or not getting your clitorous off by myself.

I'm in shock. I think I've made him feel insecure. He's being really distant with me this evening. He looks hurt. Have no idea why??

This! What an absolute fragile ego man baby. Most sex toys do a better job than a penis! I’d get the ick in a big way over him sulking over this. So your pleasure is only important to him if it comes directly from his dick, even though there are ways to make it better for you while still involving him? It reminds me of the ex who asked if he was the best sex I ever had and was pissed off when I said no. Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer!

I got mixed up thinking he was making you climax but you just wanted to try other things too in the bedroom which is why I made my suggestions. However, I can totally see why you would begin to resent him as he’s simply not satisfying you, it is so important as a woman to feel truly pleasured by your man in a relationship because that is what defines them as your lover. I think it’s time you was more firm about your needs, just like he is about his, tell him what you want and explain to him if he cannot accommodate that then you will have no choice but to walk away. It’s either that or you stay and eventually begin to feel so unhappy and unsatisfied that your resentment festers into dislike and that is far more damaging than walking away at this stage if he decides he can’t do more for you. All the best to you OP 💐💐💐💐

Why are you calling a man "babe"?

Does he know that? Have you had a conversation about it hence the toy? From us reaction I would guess not

I agree and I was already feeling like a raging pervert by the way my partner made me feel about buying it... then I read some of the first few comments on here & felt like some kind of dirty deviant

Personally, I couldn’t be in a long term relationship with a man if he wasn’t the best sex I ever had.

I've asked him to go down on me more , he does for about a week then gives up. He never touches me at all anymore. Claims I'm the sexiest woman alive, always has an election. No issues there. When we piv it's good and I can sometimes orgasm from that , but I often come away feeling very unfulfilled and unsatisfied while he's laying there like a Cheshire cat

An erection not election 😂😂😂😂

I don' t think you are compatible.

He has voiced his opinion and you disagree, fine, but also you disregard his honest reasoning then say you don't understand his reasoning. You don't want to bin it, he does.

😂😂😂😂

Giggling at him having an election while you're organising lol 😂

What sort of toys have you used in the past? Wondering if he seems to have an issue with this type or is it because he's sensed he's not pleasing you lately and is taking it out on the toy rather than dealing with the issue?

I call everyone babe 😘

I've just asked 'him indoors' what he thinks about this.

For context we use a lot of toys but never a ring, and I hadn't really thought about it until now!

He reckons that they're potentially a bit of an ego killer...aside from the vibrating bit they're essentially designed to keep the flag at full mast for longer...maybe if you hadn't talked about it before getting one he saw it as more of a negative review of the equipment than a fun addition to the bedroom?

Have you thought about picking stuff together?

We vibe toy and master stroke bj type one. Also handcuffs, paddles, lots of role play and dress ups. I think maybe you have a valid point about the type of toy.

OP the best way of teaching a man is while it's happening. Guide him either with your hand or with your sounds/words. Gently tell him what's working and where to move. Suggest things you'd like to try.

He should be open to learning what you enjoy.

Ok thank you for this. I feel terrible now I had now idea that's what they were for 🙈 I thought they were so you both get a vibrating sensation during sex pleasuring you both at the same time

I did do this a few times early on. I would be very encouraging when he was hitting the spot and tell him afterwards what worked well etc. He seems to just not bother anymore. It's now got to a point where he hasn't touched me in so long I feel awkward saying it

We had this one. It was too tight for my partner and actually uncomfortable and fiddly to get on. We threw it away but kept the vibrating bullet and its the best thing ever!
I struggle to climax through intercourse and need something extra. Thats just me and partner understands and happy to help

Just FYI OP, have a REALLY hard time orgasming and my partner has only ever wanted me to get pleasure in ways that work for me. He encouraged me to buy a sex toy, he suggests using it, sometimes (sorry if TMI) he just enjoys watching, other times he uses it on me. He knows it’s basically the only way to get me off and you know what? He’s fine with that because he understands the complexities of women’s bodies and just wants me to have a good time. This is the only acceptable kind of reaction. There are men out there who actually care about women’s pleasure.

We vibe gives him the control remotely doesn't it? He's probably less threatened by this because he's controlling your pleasure even from a distance which can be quite a dominating sort of thing. Sounds like he's just not happy with the type of toy because it's emasculated him...however, instead of getting in a sulk about it he could have just explained. I do think you need to discuss the pleasure side of things from your POV though if you're not happy

I can see his point. Cock rings are mainly used to make men stay hard for longer and are a boon to men with ED. The gift is basically saying that you wish he would last longer than he does without it. I think a lot of men would feel insecure about the gift. I've only ever bought some when a man asked me to have some in. Try a Fleshlight next time.

I don't really know what to suggest as you've got yourself a bit of a selfish lump. He's using your body to masturbate into.

Life's too short.

I think that’s unrealistic personally (and also unhelpful and immature to rank people’s sexual performance like that). People are different in bed, not necessarily better or worse, and someone being great at sex doesn’t necessarily make them a suitable partner.

Why a fleshlight so he can have even more pleasure and I get none? , believe me he cums every single time from either piv or bj. Why would I buy him a fleshlight what on earth would I get out of that?

Just that you seemed to want to buy him a gift. I didn't realise it had to be something that both would use.