Partner offended over couples sex toy I bought him

[Bamboosilverleaf]

Basically what it says in the title.
Been with partner for over a year. Sex life seems open and fun and we both love each other.
At Christmas we bough main present each and said a few jokey / sexy things.
One of the smaller things he got me was pretty lingerie that I loved.
One of the smaller things I got for him was a c*k ring as he opened it I said for both of us. He went oh ok. Got up and started a making a cup of tea. Anyway since then he hasn't mentioned it he's put it away in a draw. I wore my lingerie last night and said babe get the c*k ring out , massage oil etc . He didn't get it out the drawer. I left it, we had fun anyway.
So this morning I say to him , have you tried that c**k ring? And he said I don't really understand why you bought it , it's like basically saying I'm not enough for you or not getting your clitorous off by myself.

I'm in shock. I think I've made him feel insecure. He's being really distant with me this evening. He looks hurt. Have no idea why??

I'm not sure it needs a male opinion. Since time began, the main focus of sex has pretty much been the man's pleasure, with women's pleasure very much taking 2nd place. There is absolutely no question as to whether the aim of sex and the marker of sex is to achieve male orgasm although I sure there are a few examples where this isn't the case. The same does not apply to female orgasm. If a female was to orgasm and then sex end, most would find it very odd.

We know that vibrating things tend to do the job for many women. Mother nature did not see fit to equip men with well placed vibrating bit let alone in the most appropriate place for achieving orgasm during penetrative sex. We ll know this. We don't need a man's perspective on that. If he finds it uncomfortable (and plenty of men are fine with vibrating cock rings) then he needs to be a grown up and say so. We don't need a man to tell us if it's reasonable for a male partner to talk about sex or if it's reasonable to be dramatically offended because a woman fancies trying something new that's not absurdly kinky in the bedroom. It's 2025 and we don't need to canvas male opinion as to whether a widely used sex toy is OK.

@Helpmybrainsmelted - very well said: as @Bamboosilverleaf‘s posts show - the real issue here is not the present but the fact that her BF is a selfish and therefore poor lover: he doesn’t care about her pleasure and isn’t interested in learning.

Yes, she didn't say what you interpreted.

What a truly weird take

I'd say if you don't like sex very much, you'd be rather indifferent as to whether other women do.
You don't get pissed off at other people doing something that you not very interested in/motivated by/don't enjoy, yourself.

Oh and I don't actually think there are many women who don't "like" sex very much.

I think there are a lot of women with men who don't bother to get then off.

I also think there are a lot of women with men whom they have no sexual desire towards any more.

(One study showed an inverse proportion to how long a woman is in a relationship and how much she sexually desires her partner.
I barely sexually desire men I'm with for more than a couple of years and I've talked to other women who feel the same. I think it's ironic that a certain type of man think they're the "seed spreaders" and not wired to be monogamous for life..... I think there's a distinct possibility that women aren't supposed to have children with only one man (for the sake of the gene pool etc.) for life. Animals that we share a huge proportion of DNA with don't mate for life either).

He's being overly sensitive. I am sorry ... it's a piece of rubber. It's amusing how some men want us to dress up and adorn ourselves in lingerie, but they won't dream of slipping a rubber ring on their aubergines.

My stance would be: Put the damn thing on, or I am not wearing the lingerie. Simple as that 😂

Agree but there is a lot of internalised misogyny on this thread coming from women telling the OP that its her fault Or they are male posters pretending to be women which is fucking creepy

I guess he basically feels insecure whether his erection last long enough or not?