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Original poster

Just told daughters I won’t be babysitting

577 replies

SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:17

I have two gorgeous toddler Gs’s by my two daughters, I look after the eldest Gs, one afternoon a week, I pick him up from nursery and cook his dinner till dad picks him up and have my youngest Gs another afternoon to give his mum a break. I have been given a long a list of rules I must follow to the letter. My youngest Dd is always having a go at me for not following all the rules, I asked her if we could have her son for a couple of hours tomorrow and got a long list of things she is not happy about, mainly (as she was at work) we had her partner with their son, my other daughter with her partner and son over on Boxing Day and eldest Gs was play fighting with my H and he jokingly said Gs was a thug. It was all reported back to the daughter who was working that day by her partner and her sister. She blamed us for her son’s bad behaviour (he is 2.5 years old) and I said we won’t be looking after Gs again as so shit at it. I text my other daughter and said we won’t be looking after your son anymore because we turn children into thugs. So fuck it, let then look after there own kids as they so perfect.
I didn’t want to hear back from them and was so het up I blocked them from messaging back. I only messaged one daughter to have Gs for a few hours tomorrow and I get aggro.
No matter what I do I get arsey messages, It does my head in.

OP posts:
Circumferences · 27/12/2024 23:20

I wouldn't put up with a long list of rules either, but you're prepared to lose all contact with your children and g children over a play fight?
If you think that's proportionate, fine.

Nextyearhopes · 27/12/2024 23:24

Good for you OP. Silly girl needs to grow up. A long list of rules? How bloody patronizing when you are offering her FREE childcare. Is she aware you raised her? (And she obviously deems herself absolutely bloody perfect)

Only rule I have if my mum looks after my kid is no screens, but she agrees with that as he’s still very young.

Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:24

Circumferences · 27/12/2024 23:20

I wouldn't put up with a long list of rules either, but you're prepared to lose all contact with your children and g children over a play fight?
If you think that's proportionate, fine.

I blocked them from messaging me because I was to pissed off and upset so didn’t want to hear from them for a few days. It’s not permanent, unless I follow all the rules to the letter I get told off all the time.

OP posts:
Nextyearhopes · 27/12/2024 23:26

SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:24

I blocked them from messaging me because I was to pissed off and upset so didn’t want to hear from them for a few days. It’s not permanent, unless I follow all the rules to the letter I get told off all the time.

Show quote history

Sounds like the ‘rule list’ should be met with a ‘that’s nice dear’, an eye roll and an open bin.

Do share what some of the more hilarious rules are…

NunyaBeeswax · 27/12/2024 23:26

Yeah, no, I would rather have no contact than this shitty rule laden and stressful contact.
Shame, but that's life.
I wouldn't like them holding grandkids over my head either, of they tried it..
"Follow all these rules or you won't see them..."
Sort of thing.

That'd piss me right off to the point I'd likely tell them to get fucked. But, I'm unpleasant.. 🤣

Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:31

Thank you @Nextyearhopes they are loved and safe with me, I got a snotty message because we bought too much for GS for Christmas and we apparently trying to be the favourite Gp’s. It gets ridiculous

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 27/12/2024 23:33

What are the rules they're asking of you op? That would probably help us get a feel for whether you're being reasonable or not because obviously everyone has different standards and approaches.

For example I've had to have words with my parents before. I'm incredibly grateful they take ds for me twice a week and i know ds loves to have that time with them but it was things like the amount of screen time when it wasn't needed (i don't mind a bit but it was the entire day) and making sure his car seat was properly secured and not giving him big heated reactions when he made mistakes as it was how he was then talking to himself and his toys and I didn't want him being scared to get things wrong when we all do and it's part of learning. My mum will tell you I'm ridiculous for the above though!

Nextyearhopes · 27/12/2024 23:34

SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:31

Thank you @Nextyearhopes they are loved and safe with me, I got a snotty message because we bought too much for GS for Christmas and we apparently trying to be the favourite Gp’s. It gets ridiculous

Oh so they are ungrateful as well as immature and rude?
Poor kids. What a wonderful example they have at home…

Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:35

I couldn’t go NC it would break Gs’s heart and mine @NunyaBeeswax

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 27/12/2024 23:37

They both sound like the stereotypical Mumsnetters we often see.

Azandme · 27/12/2024 23:37

SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:35

I couldn’t go NC it would break Gs’s heart and mine @NunyaBeeswax

But your daughters could decide to...

MaJoady · 27/12/2024 23:38

So your youngest daughter has a go at you for how you care for her son? (Including her BIL for joking he's a thug). So why did you tell your eldest you weren't looking after her child anymore either?

Your post seems to be full of how your younger daughter's rules are ridiculous and she's ott, so why is your eldest also on the receiving end of being blocked and childcare withdrawn?

Redwinedaze · 27/12/2024 23:39

What type of rules are they?

Bogginsthe3rd · 27/12/2024 23:39

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Chowtime · 27/12/2024 23:41

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Or have you had quite a bit to drink?

HeddaGarbled · 27/12/2024 23:42

It sounds like your beef is with your younger daughter so I don’t understand why you’ve got stroppy with your older one as well.

Bigcat25 · 27/12/2024 23:42

You should stop blocking them as they could one up you in that regard. If you need to not look at your phone, do it.

Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:42

I’m very patient and they don’t get told off at mine, I tell him no and explain and he mostly listens. I usually take him to soft play so he can run about and have fun. I get slated for giving him any chocolate, very diluted squash encouraging any boisterous play. There is more but too tired to list more at moment. He doesn’t get hardly any screen time at mine and we have toys so he plays with them,

OP posts:
Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:45

HeddaGarbled · 27/12/2024 23:42

It sounds like your beef is with your younger daughter so I don’t understand why you’ve got stroppy with your older one as well.

Older daughter reports back anything to her, the thing is they usually moan I don’t have the children enough. I take the moans for many months and let it go over my head but today I snapped.

OP posts:
AlecTrevelyan006 · 27/12/2024 23:46

Why are you punishing your eldest daughter and her son?

ForCraftyLion · 27/12/2024 23:47

I wish for a mum like you. I don’t get help. When my children are older I will help them. I want a community and to feel like a proper granny.

DorothyStorm · 27/12/2024 23:47

What is the long list of rules? And why did you also have a go at and block the other daughter?

Lavender14 · 27/12/2024 23:47

AlecTrevelyan006 · 27/12/2024 23:46

Why are you punishing your eldest daughter and her son?

Ops eldest dd has reported back to her sister what happened at ops home when she was babysitting the younger dds dc and ops partner was rough housing and called younger dds child a thug is what I'm getting from it?

Original poster
SpryCat · 27/12/2024 23:47

This reply has been deleted

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No I'm not unhinged or drunk, just pissed of with getting everything I do chucked in my face.

OP posts:
Bogginsthe3rd · 27/12/2024 23:47

OP "I'm very patient"
Also OP
"I text my other daughter and said we won’t be looking after your son anymore because we turn children into thugs. So fuck it, let then look after there own kids as they so perfect.
I didn’t want to hear back from them and was so het up I blocked them from messaging back"